The Ballad of the Blueberry Muffin
by IllegalWL
Summary: An un-whiney Bella, a bad-boy Jacob...and neither wants to give in.Rated M for language and various citrus fruit.
1. When you smile, you smile

**If I could describe this fic in three words it would be fluffy, funny and hot. In other words this is a Bella and sweaty, stand-up-comedian bunny story. A sweaty stand-up-comedian bunny named Jacob. (Its not but you get the point)**

**I didn't consider a play list till my awesome beta/twinsie fangbanger06 suggested "I'll stand by you" by the Pretenders for this chapter. I'm also adding "At Last" by Etta James into the mix just cause it's so romantic and cause I'm giving you an extra 2 minutes to rush through this chapter with music in the background. Go ahead...I dare you... :)**

* * *

"I can't," The ring clattered onto the table.

"I was expecting this, Bella. I understand."

I looked up, my eyes wide with shock. I had run through this scenario a million times over for weeks.

Anger. Confusion. Desperate pleading. I had steeled myself for every possible reaction but never expected this. Acceptance? I looked back down at the ring, twinkling in the sunlight.

His hand reached out to stop me from spinning it on the table.

"That's a priceless antique you know."

"Oh, I'm so..." I apologized, glancing up. He was smiling. I hadn't seen that smile in months.

I popped him gently on the shoulder. This is what we had become, good friends rather than lovers.

"Reeeal funny Edward."

He leaned back against the table, one hand supporting his frame, while the other scrutinized the ring. After a minute he held out his hand, the ring nestled in his palm. I mentally counted the diamonds as I had always done.

_Twenty two…twenty three… _"You should keep it," he urged. _Twenty four._

My hands gripped his, one wrapping around his fist while the other pushed at his fingers, forcing him to make a hard fist.

"But it was your mothers," I protested.

"I know but if I wanted anyone to have it, it would be you. I've waited forever for you, Bella, and now I know why. You were meant to be in my life. You were meant to show me that I was worth it."

"Like L'Oreal?" _Not the time to joke Bella_.

He flashed me a crooked smile.

"Alice has been rubbing off on you."

"Yeah, she wishes," I looked down at my hands, wiling the awkward silence to pass.

"I meant that I was worth loving. That maybe I wasn't a monster after all and that I can finally be happy."

_This was killing me._

I placed my hand on his cold cheek, his hand covered my hand, long fingers lacing through mine, a wistful smile on his lips.

"But it's not with me is it?" I whispered. I knew I hadn't been the reason for his happiness in a long time. His eyes didn't meet mine. The answer was clear.

"Have you told her?"

"No. I couldn't without telling you first."

How did we switch places so fast? Suddenly I was the one being dumped. He pulled me into a tight hug. My face pressed against his chest as I absent-mindedly fingered the sleeves of his grey tee.

"I don't want to hurt you, Bella, and you know I would never cheat on you. I wanted to do this right," he murmured into my hair.

"I know," I whispered back. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted. Knowing that he wasn't going to be alone for another century made my heart sing; he was in love and he was setting me free.

* * *

Edward and Tanya were married a few months later. She let Alice do all the planning, laughing as they stuffed me into some over-priced, far-too-tight, creation by a designer whose name I couldn't even pronounce. It was a red satin number, low cut and way too short to be appropriate for a solemn ceremony or even a night club for that matter. Tanya ignored my whines of protest, squealing and clapping her hands with Alice while throwing around words like "fabulous" and "chic" with delirious fervor.

The wedding went without a hitch, which was a testament to Alice's regimental planning. As I stood there, watching the first man I ever loved getting married to someone else, I expected to feel regret, guilt or even anger at my decision. But as he smiled at Tanya, saying "I do" with such reverence, I only felt peace. I had brought them together; I wasn't standing in the way of an epic love story. Now I just needed to find mine.

Halfway through the ceremony, I looked over the guests only to see a pair of dark eyes staring back at me from the last row. _Seth_? No, he was sitting with Sue behind the family.

I nudged Alice. "Did you invite Jacob?" I whispered, earning me a bouquet poke from Rosalie. I slyly poked my tongue out at her before nudging Alice again.

"Duh Bella, the invite went out to all the wolves," she hissed. I knew Seth alone was making her mental visions go crazy. "Now shush! We're gonna miss the best part."

"You may kiss the bride," Carlisle smiled, his arms outstretched.

Edward flashed a knee-buckling smile before capturing Tanya's lips with his. The guests stood, applauding the stunning couple. I joined in, smiling like an idiot as they held hands and acknowledged the cheers. Seth woofed, pumping his fist till Sue stood on her tippy toes to smack him on the back of the while shooting a sheepish look at me. I grinned at him and went back to scanning the crowd, hoping to catch a glimpse of Jake, if it was him in the first place. My high heels were practically useless amidst the freakishly tall beings in the room.

"Looking for someone Bella?" Emmett winked, offering the crook of his arm.

I slipped my arm through his. "Err... nope ...just ...looking around."

We followed the couple to the decorated tent outside. Strings of fairy lights cast a romantic glow as I danced with Edward. The chemistry between us was dull, but filled with the promise of a comfortable familiarity. I realized we were always meant to be friends.

"I'm so glad that you're happy, Edward," I spoke into his shoulder. I meant every word.

"You know I'll always love you right?" he replied.

I raised my head off his shoulder and placed my hand dramatically over my heart. "Well I do declare, Edward Cullen! Telling someone other than your wife that you love them is _not_ how you start a successful marriage."

"You know what I mean," he smirked. I squeezed his upper arm. I would always love him too.

"Can I interrupt?" Tanya looked ethereal in her custom-made dress, her strawberry-blonde hair cascading over her bare shoulders.

Edward raised an eyebrow asking my permission.

"I need to borrow Bella."

"Ignoring me already?" he pouted adorably. _Well that__'__s new._

She laughed, even her laugh sounded magical. I'm sure mine sounded like a pack of mules in comparison.

"Just for a minute love. I'll be back before you know it," she said as she took my pale hand in hers. Esme stepped in to dance with her son.

"My little Edward, all grown up," she said pushing a bronzed lock off his face. I heard him laugh in response as they floated across the dance floor.

"I want to thank you," Tanya arranged her voluminous skirts as she sat at an empty table. Her eyes never left his figure even as the dance floor filled with more couples. Edward danced not only with his mother but with Alice and Rosalie and even Sue.

"Thank me for what?" I dragged my eyes away from Seth attempting to do the robot.

"For letting him go. He would have never been able to break your heart."

I didn't know how to respond. She sensed my discomfort and continued.

"When I first told him that I was in love with him, he had this notion that he was incapable of feeling or being a recipient of love, even by one of his own kind. To be honest, and I'm ashamed to say this, I was glad that it wasn't because of someone else. It was a case of 'If I can't have him, no one can'. But then you came along and. . ." she sighed "I thought I had lost him forever."

"Wow! You must have _really_ loved me huh?"

She reached for my hand over the table "I've never hated you Bella. I saw how happy you made him. You made him feel almost. . . human. I could never _ever_ hate someone who made him smile like that."

"You mean the way he smiles at you?"

Edward caught her eye and flashed a brilliant one at that very moment. Almost as if he could read her mind.

_Oh wait. . . He could. _

"Cheesy little. . ." I mumbled under my breath at Tanya's profile. She snapped out of her eye-lusting and gripped my hand tighter.

"I hear about your internship in Seattle."

"Yeah I'm pretty excited about that." Well Charlie was anyway. He had waved the acceptance letter to intern at the Theatre Company like he was gonna throw it at a stripper.

"We don't know how you'd feel about this, but"

_Please don__'__t tell me you__'__re honeymooning there. Please don__'__t tell me you__'__re honeymooning there. I could only stand so much of these goo-goo eyes. _

"We thought you might like to stay at the apartment we own there, instead of the crummy little place they've given you. We don't want you to pay rent or facilities or anything."

"That's...that's so thoughtful of you guys," I recalled the apartment I had been assigned. It looked like a place that serial killers frequented and I was pretty sure the cockroaches had already planted their conquering flags over most of the surfaces. I shuddered.

"Are you guys trying to buy me off?"

She laughed. The sound was ridiculously addictive. I could see why Edward chose her.

"Consider it our gift," she leaned in. "My gift, for giving me a second chance with Edward."

A week later I was driving my decrepit truck to Seattle, a brand new silver key dangling off the ignition.

* * *

**Do ya like it? Do ya? Do ya? ;)**

**Thanks Fangy! 3**


	2. Fly away to what you want to make

**Howdy! So first of all, thanks so much for the lovely reviews! You guys are awesome! The songs I picked for this chapter are "I feel it all" by Feist and "Middle of Nowhere" by Hot Hot Heat. I like to use popular songs so that you can hear it in your head while you read. Anyhoodle, love to stothep and fangbanger06 for being my betas and soundboards. **

**And cause I forgot the first time...Disclaimer Whitney Houston style - I own nothing...nothing...nothiiiiing...**

* * *

Waylon Forge dressed more like a lumberjack than a caretaker. He wouldn't have looked out of place in Forks with his plaid and fading baseball cap. I secretly wondered if he grew up there.

"Right this way, Miss Swan," he indicated to the elevator. I stepped in, checking my hair briefly in the mirrored wall. The muzac was in fine form this afternoon; the elevator gods had picked "Tie a Yellow Ribbon." I did a cheesy dedication to Charlie, Carlisle and all my friends at Forks High. _Wooo! _

My bracelet glinted, the diamond heart catching the bright lights. I fingered it unconsciously, the cold hard stone giving me reassurance. I let it fall back, clicking against the little wooden wolf.

_Jacob._

He hadn't answered my calls before I left. Billy said that he was at the Makah rez as an ambassador and wouldn't be back for a few weeks. I wondered if he would find his imprint there and there was a sudden ache in my chest. I blamed it on Charlie's chilli but my brain screamed otherwise.

"Will your friend be joining you?" Waylon's voice snapped me out of my reverie.

"Friend?" I ran through my conversations with Tanya and, later, Edward in my head. I couldn't recall them mentioning a roommate.

He took in my apparent confusion. "My mistake. I must have been thinking about some other tenant."

"We're here," he said a few seconds later, using his body to hold the door open, both hands occupied by my bags. I would never have taken so many bags if not for Alice and her newly-recruited minion Tanya dragging me to the shops and ordering ridiculously over-priced products off the internet. Whoever taught Alice how to turn on a computer should have been kicked in the disco balls. I had narrowed my eyes at Emmett, who backed away with his hands up in an obvious declaration of guilt. If Jasper hadn't calmed us all down I would have ripped through the millionth dress they made me try on just so I could take a baseball bat to Emmett's head.

I walked in and immediately the bags fell from my hands as I stared, open-mouthed, at the place that was supposed to be my home for the next few months.

"Oh. My. God"

"Pretty fancy, huh?" Waylon passed me, grinning at my disbelief.

"Uh-huh."

Fancy was the understatement of the millennium.

The loft-style apartment was breathtaking, with high ceilings and minimalist decor. I kept invoking the divine on repeat as I ran my hands over the sumptuous fabric of the over-stuffed couch. The kitchen was fitted out in stainless steel and wood and a spiral staircase led to what I believed was the bedroom. I pressed my fingers against the glass, my breath condensing on the surface as I took in the panoramic view of the city. It reminded me so much of the Cullen home, with its open spaces and lots of natural light. I knew I would be very happy here.

Waylon cleared his throat behind me.

"I've left my card with the keys on the dining table. If ever you need anything, give me a call." He tipped his cap and let himself out.

I took time to explore my surroundings. Everything was so perfect and unused. Even the rubbish bin looked designer. I fully expected to see a Philippe Starck signature on the inside of the lid. I stopped myself when I realised I was about to stick my head in a rubbish bin ... a beautiful bin...but a bin nonetheless.

I kept wandering about, ooohing and aaahing to non-existent people. The apartment was really too big for me to live in all by myself. I was comforted by the fact that I wouldn't be here for too long and with my superior friend-making skills I'd be throwing raves in no time.

_Pffft yeah...I wish._

I decided to help myself to a bottle of wine, scrounging around for a box of crackers while I was at it. I came up empty.

"So much for authentic loft living," I mumbled into my wine glass. It looked expensive, like crystal-guarded-by-dragons-and-has-magical-properties-kinda expensive. I walked around admiring the beautiful and most probably original artwork and upstairs was no different. I stopped in front of a large picture that hung between the two bedrooms.

I squinted, walking backwards to gain perspective and almost falling off the balcony in the process.

_It couldn't be..._

I gulped down more wine, which later I realised wouldn't have helped my vision in the first place.

_Dear Lord, they look like boobs...a sea of boobs._

I was sure they represented something deep like motherhood or the impermanence of life or whatever but all I saw was boobs...hundreds and hundreds of boobs.

_Maybe Edward painted it...A boob for every year he didn't score. _

I snort-giggled at the thought and then felt a twinge of guilt. Laughing at someone's virginity when they give you a lavish roof over your head was sure to attract bad karma. Right on cue it hit me with a massive headache.

"Urgh." I fell back on the massive bed, palms-down on the crisp cotton sheets. I groaned as the phone vibrated in my pocket. Even moving my hands a few inches seemed to make my head pound in protest. I shuffled and groaned and managed to locate the offending item. I grunted into the receiver.

"Nice talking to you too, sunshine."

I scrambled to get myself upright.

_Shit. _It felt like all the blood in my brain rushed down to my feet.

"Jacob."

That came out breathier than I had expected_. Stupid wine._

"When did you get back?"

"Today...I'm sorry I missed you. Billy keeps forgetting I have a cell phone now." He laughed. My insides flip-flopped in response.

"So... what are you doing today?" I sounded like I was operating a phone sex line.

"Err... nothing much but I can guess what you've been doing."

"Oh really? Amuse me."

"Let's see...you've raided their wine stock and now you're nursing a headache on your bed."

"Ha! Why don't you tell me what I'm wearing next?"

_What was wrong with me? _

His voice was dangerously low. "That depends on whether you're talking about real life or my imagination. Cause there's far less..."

I think I may have whimpered before I cut him off.

"Knock it off, Black! Now tell me how you know what I've been doing. Is there a live feed in this room? Are you watching me right now, you perve?" I looked around frantically, my voice going up a few octaves in the process.

_Now the wine was making me paranoid...brilliant!_

"Calm down, Bells. The little one told me."

"Claire knows what I'm doing?" My brain was officially mush. No - scratch that. Mush had a higher IQ than I. _Bacteria_ had more brain function than the crap I was spewing.

"No... Alice" I could hear the frustration in his voice. I wouldn't want to talk with me either.

"Oh."

_My eloquence knows no bounds._

"Wait! What were you doing with Alice?"

"You'll know soon enough."

I sighed. I was honestly up to here with this supernatural mystery. I hummed the "Twilight Zone" theme at him. The vamps and the wolves could go get a room and create a hybrid for all I cared. I just wanted to sleep.

"I get the hint, Bells. I'll call you later, k?"

I mumbled "mmmkay" and let the phone clatter onto the wooden floor.

_Ahhh, blessed sleep._

* * *

It was dark when I woke up. The bright green digits of the clock showed 11:00. I realised I had wasted an entire day drinking wine, looking at boobs and talking dirty to my best friend. I was in mid-groan when the fridge door slammed.

_Oh, crap._

I scrambled to find the can of mace in my bag and crept out, keeping close to the wall. I opened the door a crack and squinted at the lights. I knew I didn't leave them on before I crashed.

_Of all the people to break in, it had to be a candidate for "World's Dumbest Criminals."_

I typed out 911 on my phone and made my way downstairs. The 911 was for the burglar. He was gonna need an ambulance after I was done with him. A backpack lay on the kitchen counter and the back of a lanky body stuck out from the fridge.

"Good luck finding anything in there, buddy."

The body straightened up immediately.

"I should have figured," he replied.

"Now turn around very slowly with your hands up. No wolfy business, you hear? Some of the stuff here cost more than what I'll get parading you on the freak show circuit."

He laughed, complying with my request before wrapping his huge arms around me in a tight hug.

"Seth, don't make me mace you," I gasped out. He dropped me and leaned against the kitchen counter.

I threatened him with the mace one more time before placing it on the counter.

"What's this? Am I running a halfway house now? Does Sue know you're here? Are you in trouble?" I felt myself go into mom-mode.

"Nope, I'm here for an internship, just like you."

"That's awesome! What for? " I sat on the barstool, effectively reaching his shoulders.

"It's at an art school. Edward and Mum submitted some of my stuff. I didn't even know till I got the letter a few days ago. I hope I'm not being a pain in the ass. Edward said it'll be fine, but if you want me to leave..."

"No...don't be silly. I was just thinking it'd be nice to have some company." I patted his arm as he pushed a few strands of hair off his face. It was strangely reminiscent of Jacob. Like looking at a much younger version of him. If his younger version was 6-foot-something with tickets to the gun show.

"You hungry?"

"Naw, I was just being greedy. Don't mind some wine though," he wriggled his eyebrows at the half-empty bottle.

"Not on my watch, buddy."

"But I'm..."

"I don't care if you're the almighty Alpha himself. You're underage so end of discussion. We'll go shopping tomorrow, k? Now up to bed. Your room's on the right."

"Ok...mom" he sprinted up the stairs before I could mace him.

I grabbed the bottle of wine and tapped my palm against the cork, wondering if I should put it in the fridge.

_Hi, I'm Bella Swan and I evidently don't belong in this place. They'd sniff out my fake ass in a nanosecond._

I opened the fridge door.

_To hell with the snobs._

"Bella?" Seth yelled from upstairs.

"On the right, Seth!" I yelled back.

"Why do we have a picture of boobs?"

* * *

**Did ya like it? Did ya? I feel like the Bella/Seth living arrangement should get its own theme song...**


	3. This prelife crisis is killing me

**Song for this chapter - "Easier to be" by Lifehouse.**

* * *

I woke up the next day, mercifully without a headache thanks to a couple of aspirins I popped before practically crawling into bed. I said a silent prayer of thanks to the thick walls, because if Seth snored as loud as Charlie, I would look like a re-animated corpse for the duration of the internship.

"Coffee," I croaked out before realizing that there was none in the house. I groaned as my stomach growled, demanding the caffeine-y goodness. I tried to smooth down my unruly hair as I walked out, intent on waking up Seth to go foraging with me.

_Wolf boy__'__s an early riser._

He stood in front of the "Sea of Boobs" painting. I'm sure it wasn't called that but I knew I couldn't ask Edward for the name.

"_Ah Bella, always with the risqué questions." _

"_Just call me a perve and get over it k?"_

I smiled at the memory and leaned against the doorway. He had his arms crossed; one hand clutched a glass of water as he leaned back against the railing. My stomach growled again. "Morning," he said and took a sip; his eyes never left the painting.

_Teenage boys._

I rolled my eyes as I stood next to him.

"Have you been staring at that all night?" I grabbed his glass of water and appeased the hunger pangs momentarily.

"Maybe," he grinned. "I was wondering if this would fit in my room."

"Seth Clearwater!" I said in mock horror, "When did you become _such_ a perve?"

"You'd have to ask Jacob," he smirked as I punched him in the shoulder.

_Ouch._

"I was wondering if you wanna go get some groceries with me?"

His eyes lit up at the mention of food. "Hell yes! Just give me a few minutes to change." He bounded off into his room and I dragged my feet into the bathroom to look more human.

_Human...I__'__m living with a wolf in a vampire__'__s house._

I snorted at the thought while getting ready, slipping into my usual jeans and a tee. Slipping was too graceful a word, considering that I had almost killed myself when my foot got stuck in the jeans. A quick brush through my hair and I was ready to go.

Shopping was pretty uneventful. If uneventful was what you call people staring at you for hanging around with a good-looking, over-grown man boy. I nudged him several times during the trip, gaggles of girls staring appreciatively at him while shooting death stares at me. I couldn't blame them; I'd shoot death stares at me too.

Seth fussed around, not really paying attention to the girls which made me wonder if he had already imprinted or whether it was just hunger that was driving him. He seemed reluctant to buy anything till I assured him that there was more than enough money in my funds to support the both of us. Cheered at this prospect, he loped off, careful to jog like normal people, directly into the chips aisle; emerging a few minutes later holding what seemed to be half the products in the aisle.

"Urgh Seth, we can't live on chips."

He dumped the contents into the trolley and I steered us towards the fresh fruit, hoping to add something more substantial to our diet. The phone vibrated in my pocket. I glanced at the screen, muttering "Edward" to a curious Seth and answered it. His smooth voice cut through the noise of the busy store.

"Are you happy? Do you like it?"

"You know Edward; people usually start conversations with hello."

"Oh right...hello."

"Much better," I cradled the phone between my shoulder and the crook of my neck before sorting through some apples. "And yes I love it. It's beautiful and way too sophisticated for me."

"Are you mad at me?"

I looked quizzical and Seth mouthed a "What's wrong?" at me. I shook my head with a small smile to reassure him.

"Mad at you for what?"

"For telling Seth he can stay with you. I thought you could use the company and that kid has talent. I hope he's not bothering you."

I looked up to see him waving frantically to get my attention before pressing two oranges to his chest. "Ask him about the boobs," he mouthed. I threw an apple at him which he caught and grinned as I mouthed an emphatic "NO".

"He's fine Edward; I'll take a baseball bat to his head when he gets too annoying."

Seth looked down at the oranges and held up his thumb and index finger before walking over to the watermelons. He stuck one up his shirt and pointed to it, "Boobs," he mouthed again.

I mimed a baseball bat swinging at his head and hissed a "Shut up!"

"You'll find it in the closet. Try not to dent it Bella, it's a limited-edition"

"I'll try," I poked my tongue out at him and walked towards the ice cream. Seth jogged over and stuck his whole body in the fridge.

"I don't know if you already know this, but Sam and Emily are getting married in a few months. They gave us special permission to attend."

"That's wonderful," I shook my head as Seth grabbed the vanilla. He grimaced and rummaged some more.

"You're not gonna like this next part," I steeled myself.

_A double wedding? Was Jacob getting married to some bimbo? Was I doomed to spend my life alone? Sitting in a retirement home while immortal Seth and his flaky girlfriend would visit the old coot he once lived with?_

I pushed him away, grabbing a giant carton of double chocolate chip and throwing it into the trolley.

_Today is the day we binge._

I calmed myself considerably before asking a tentative, "What's going on?"

"You're...you're gonna be a bridesmaid Bella, with Leah and Jacob and Seth."

I threw in another carton and a vanilla. Seth beamed.

_Poor boy had no idea. Seth loved being in a bridal party as much as he needed another hole in his head. The ice cream was crucial for both of us._

"Why the hurry?"

"Emily's pregnant and I quote 'doesn't want to look like a beached whale at her own wedding'."

"Understandable," I muttered "...don't know why _I_ need to be tortured for that though. Well, at least Em won't make me squeeze into a bandage dress and stilettos."

I imagined a country-chic wedding, floaty dresses and ballet flats, or even barefoot. I couldn't kill myself with bare feet.

He coughed "Aliceisdoingtheplanning."

"WHAT?"

He sounded apologetic. He knew what horrors I had gone through. "Alice...Alice is doing the planning"

I looked at the chips and decided to grab some cans of whipped cream.

_Comfort food...lots and lots of comfort food._

Seth helped push the trolley to the checkout.

"Bella..."

"We're at the checkouts. Can I call you about this later?"

"Sure."

The call ended with a click. I chewed on my nail nervously while watching the couple in front of us unpack their stuff.

"You heard huh?" Seth broke into my thoughts.

"How did you know?"

"The ice cream," we chorused and he continued. "I had the same reaction when Sam told me. Polished off three cartons in one sitting, then I holed myself up for a few days playing X-box and being whiney till the letter came in. Mom figured time away will make me more sociable".

"Ha!"

_Bella Swan... socialite extraordinaire_

"So _that__'__s_ what Jacob was doing with Alice," I murmured.

"Next please," the cashier called out and we started placing the stuff on the conveyor. Seth motioned that he'd finish and I moved ahead to pay for the items. The cashier was not bad looking. He was blonde with floppy hair that fell over his eyes. He also had a swimmer's build with a strong jaw and looked out of place among the older workers.

"Hi."

"Hello," He flashed me a dazzling smile. "You're new here" he stated, hands running the items through the machine effortlessly. He was a pro.

"Yup."

"I figured, cause I know almost everyone who shops here", He leaned forward. "I never forget a pretty face."

I groaned inwardly at the cheesiness.

He stopped weighing the fruit to hold out his hand, "Hi, I'm Jason."

I shook it. He had long fingers. "Bella."

"Bella...that's a beautiful name."

A pair of arms wrapped around me as I was pulled back against Seth's chest. He put his chin on my shoulder and smiled at Jason, a little evilly I noticed.

"I know right? Beautiful," he rumbled against my ear.

_What the hell?_

"Yeah...so...err...that comes to 75 dollars," Jason looked uncomfortable and a little scared. I wasn't surprised, Seth towered over him and looked like he was about to rip his head off.

"You wanna get that babe?" Seth crooned.

I wriggled out of his grasp, mustering a polite smile to Jason. "Ok _honey,_" I shot daggers at Seth, he smiled back, unapologetic. He slung an arm around my shoulder as we walked away, earning me more death stares from the girls.

I let him keep up the charade till we reached the truck. I ducked out from under him, crossed my arms and hissed at him.

"What the _hell_ is wrong with you?"

* * *

**Thanks to fangbanger06 for being a lovely beta and stothep for inspiring the funny from Seth. Thanks to everyone who reads this. I really appreciate your views, reviews and for loving my story by making it your favourite! I'm glad to belong to such an awesome fandom!**

**Muah!**

**P.s. I accidentaly uploaded this without an autor's note. I apologise. I am fail.**


	4. I'm your silver lining

**Of three things I was certain. One, I'm too short for my own good. Two, I am nothing without my Ninja Mafia betas and thirdly, singing Taylor Swift songs and dressing up for prom does not make Twilight mine...*sob***

**Silver Lining - Rilo Kiley**

* * *

"What the _hell_ is wrong with you?" I hissed at him and he had the decency to look ashamed. I strode up to him, arms still crossed.

"I'm sorry, I..."

I got up on my tippy toes, reaching his chest.

_Damn their growth spurts._

"You're what? Sorry you had a pissing contest with that guy over me? Had to prove to him what a studley-dudley you are?" I poked his hard chest with every question.

_My finger's gonna hurt like hell later._

He ran his hand nervously through the back of his hair. It was amusing that pint-sized me was making wolf boy scared.

"I'm waiting, Clearwater."

"I'm sorry, ok? I just get protective. He was such a skeeze, Bella, and I..."

I held up a finger to stop him.

"You don't think I can handle myself?"

"No, I mean..."

_A flustered Seth was a funny Seth._

He placed his hands against the back of the truck and hung his head.

"Why does everyone have the same reaction when I do this?"

"Everyone? You routinely pretend to be the boyfriend of random chicks?" I stood beside him and forced myself not to pat his head. I was pissed and puppy eyes and self deprecation was not going to shake me.

"Leah got so angry," he mumbled. "I was only trying to look out for her."

I softened and touched the back of his head.

"I know, but sometimes it's a little 'me Tarzan, you Jane,' you know?" He raised his head. "I can take care of myself, ok?" He still looked devastated. "You know what? Let's do this... if ever I need you to come rescue me, we'll have a secret sign, or a word that'll give you full authority to kick ass so you can save me."

He brightened up considerably and rushed to get the groceries into the truck, more a bunny rabbit than a wolf. With the excitement of a ferret on caffeine.

"What's it gonna be? Should we have something like they do in the military?" He waved two fingers past his head. I twirled one finger near my temple in reply.

"We'll discuss this when we go home, now let go of those eggs. I don't wanna find them hard boiled when we get home, ya hear?"

He obediently dropped them into the bag and kept throwing suggestions at me as I drove. I let him continue, grinning occasionally as the ideas kept getting weirder and weirder until I finally had to cut in.

"Seth I will NOT howl like a wolf. I want to be saved, not make people want to save themselves!"

"Ok, but..." Thankfully he was cut off by the phone. We both scrambled in our pockets. It was his.

He didn't look too happy.

"Hello? Yeah. Fine."

I raised an eyebrow; he covered the speaker and whispered, "Leah."

He hissed back into the phone, "I can't do that...she'll figure...err...gotta go."

Leah wasn't giving in so easily.

He sounded livid. "No...don't do that. What do I tell...but how do I...Oh, crap."

He stared dejectedly at the phone. I wondered if he was about to throw it out the window. I prayed hard that he wouldn't. Someone was not going to survive _that_ blow to the head.

"Sibling issues?"

"Yeah...err...Leah wants to find me a date for the wedding." He squirmed.

"But you're a groomsman, aren't you going to be hanging out with Leah anyway?"

"Actually, she'll be hanging out with Jacob 'cause he's the best man and..."

"...Leah's the maid of honour," I finished his sentence. "So why don't you and I hang out? I mean as friends? We'll laugh at each other's outfits, speculate on who's gonna have slutty wedding sex and you can watch me get drunk...Yay!" I did a fist pump with the 'yay' that died on my lips when I saw his face.

_Was it because I said slutty wedding sex? I mean, it's a fact of life, yes? _

"I don't want to be a pity date and I'm sure you want to take someone else." I couldn't place the tone in his voice. Was it sadness and...fear?

I patted his hand in reassurance. "Believe me Seth, unless I find a tall, dark and handsome guy at this play, which I severely doubt, you would be my perfect date."

"Tall, dark and handsome? That rings a few bells," his eyebrows rose up, punctuated by a mischievous grin.

"Dont even think about it."

"But Jac.."

"So is the rest of the wolf pack. Now shush."

"But..."

His phone rang again.

_Saved by the bell._

"Someone's popular today."

"Hi...Mom," he looked at me from the corner of his eye. I assumed it was private and looked away, concentrating on the road. He carried on a hushed conversation, with words like "fine...called...I know" drifting in my direction. I assumed they were discussing the wedding, judging from the pained look on his face. He ended the call five minutes later, looking decidedly worse for the wear.

_Poor kid, what were these women doing to him?_

* * *

The weeks passed and soon we were getting into the rhythm of things. I cooked and he cleaned as a way of thanking me for cooking for four people instead of just two. There were a few hilarious moments, like when I woke up late one night to find Seth trying to move the "sea of boobs" into his room. When he saw me, he immediately stopped, stretched his hands in front of him and made zombie noises while dragging his feet back to his room. He denied all knowledge of it the next morning. I made him watch "Gossip Girl" with me as punishment but his whines only added to the guilty pleasure. We'd both go shopping once a week, always avoiding Jason's line. He looked relieved, occasionally throwing a grateful smile my way for not setting Seth on him. We both started our internships and in the evening we'd tell each other about our day. Me having to run after 6 year olds in tutus while the Director I assisted looked down the pianist's top and him raving about the amazing pieces of art he was helping conserve. I always felt like the bitchy one after our conversations.

_Stupid wolf boy and his I-poop-butterflies attitude._

I loved him though. He was the perfect sunshine to my doom and gloom and he didn't seem to mind when I ranted against everything with a pulse. What I seemed to mind was the alarming rate of phone calls and texts he kept getting. He would excuse himself from the table at least once during dinner and after a while he resorted to leaving it on silent.

I tried asking him about it one afternoon but he deflected like he was on some secret mission. I assured him that if he ever wanted to talk about it, I was there.

"Thanks, B."

"What have you been watching ...S?"

"Hey, Chuck Bass is kinda my idol, ok?"

"Your secret's safe with me, Seth, until you annoy me or I need something really bad."

He laughed before his cell phone went off again. He held up a finger apologetically.

"I need to take this."

"Tell them to STFU, Seth!" I yelled at his rapidly retreating back.

He flashed me a grin and closed his bedroom door. I wondered if he had a girlfriend I didn't know about.

_Nah...His girlfriend must be pretty scary to make him look like that._

I realised I had to buy some milk and eggs cause we were running dangerously low. I wrote a note to Seth telling him I'd be gone for a while cause I needed to go to the bookstore as well and not to worry if I got a little late.

Since Seth wasn't around I bantered with Jason. He thankfully didn't ask about Seth, as if mentioning his name would make him appear. Instead we stayed in safe waters. He attended a local college and there was a new bar open a few blocks away from the apartment and the price of tomatoes was on the way up.

My next stop was at the book store. I bought a few classics, bypassing the vampire craze that was going on in the young adult section.

_Edward would be so amused._

I bought a book on Art History for Seth, making sure that there were more pictures than words. I knew Seth would be more willing to read than Jacob but I didn't want to take a chance. The last time I gave Jake a book with no pictures, he used it for target practice. Paul was not amused. In fact, I remember learning a few choice curse words that day, not to mention the flurry of fur and teeth that seemed to go on forever, the book lying ripped to shreds on the ground nearby.

_What a way to go, Poe._

I got back to a silent apartment. I dropped my keys on the table and looked around to see if Seth had gone somewhere and left me a note. My note had been moved from its place, which meant he had seen it. I tentatively called out his name, knowing that his super hearing would pick it up but there was no answer.

_He wouldn't leave without telling me._

I went upstairs and knocked on his door. There was no answer so I jiggled the handle. It was unlocked. I pushed the door open, one eye closed in case I saw something that would scar me for life, and entered his room. It was surprisingly clean apart from some clothes on the floor. His bed was empty. I was just about to panic when I heard a whimper from the bathroom.

"Seth, are you in there? Are you ok? Do I need to call a doctor?" I placed my ear against the door, waiting for a response. After a few seconds of hearing the frantic beating of my heart, I heard another whimper, louder this time. I knew I had to do something.

"Seth, I'm coming in. I swear to God if you're in there doing things that will make you go blind someday, I will kick your ass so hard you're gonna be calling ME your alpha."

He whimpered again as I pulled the door handle, praying simultaneously that it would be unlocked, that I wouldn't see anything that would require therapy and that he wasn't hurt.

My first prayer was answered as I slowly pushed the door open. I tiptoed past the sinks and whispered his name. I was greeted with a low howl and a whimper as an over-grown wolf looked woefully at me from inside the bathtub.

* * *

**Ok hamsters! Vote time! I wanna write a different POV for the next chapter so you (yes YOU!) get to decide whether its Jacob, Edward or a mystery guest (dun dun dunnnnn) . So tell me when/if you review and make my day! **

**I pink puffy heart all of you! **


	5. I'll tell you just how good it can be

**Thanks so much for voting for a POV! You guys are awesome! We start off with Bella for a little bit and then we all get some answers. Maybe... Again I own nothing except the ridiculously amazing betas of the Ninja Mafia (Yes, I own them. I feed them jelly drops and rainbows cause they're adorable!)**

**How good it can be - The 88 **

* * *

Seth lay in the empty bath whimpering pitifully, his eyes trained on mine. Thank heavens it was huge.

_That's what she said. Honestly Bella, inappropriate much?_

I knelt next to the tub, placing my hand on soft sandy fur. His hair had grown out, curling at the edges on the nape of his neck and it showed when he phased. He was shaggier; his body warm and heaving against my touch.

"Seth, what's wrong?"

There was no response. Only his fast-paced breathing broke through the silence, echoing off the tiled walls.

"Seth, phase back and let's talk about this, ok?" He howled in response. Shit needed to get drastic.

I pushed at his head, forcing him to get into a sitting position, and climbed into the tub. He avoided my eyes. "I'm gonna sit here until you tell me what's wrong. I don't care if you can't or don't want to phase back but I'll be damned if you're gonna sit in here and feel sorry for yourself."

Seth lowered his head onto the rim of the tub, his eyes rolling up to meet mine. I grabbed his snout and brought my face close to his and sighed. "Ok, so you're not gonna phase back, that's fine, but you _are_ gonna answer my questions. For a yes..." I shook his head up and down, "...and for a no..." I shook his head side to side. He rolled his eyes and I let go, settling against the back of the tub. I ran all the possible scenarios in my mind. No one had tried to break in, that's for sure, and if he phased as part of his eternal beauty regime he wouldn't be making such a big deal about it. That left only one option...Wolf-tel.

"Are you talking to Leah? You told her not to get you a date!"

Seth whined, moving his head away. I pulled at the edges of my ponytail.

"She wants to see who your date is. She could have just called..."

Seth looked at me as if to say, "You think?"

Then it hit me like a load of bricks. I scrambled out from under said load of bricks, got on my hands and knees and looked deep into Seth's eyes. I knew he would see this, if not now, then later. Seth's brain was a blissful sieve of thoughts and emotions.

"Jacob!"

Seth let out a mournful howl and covered his eyes with his paw. I swatted it away.

"Jacob Black! If you used your almighty Alpha voice to get Seth to phase so Leah can rip him to shreds, I swear to all that is holy that I WILL TAKE A BASEBALL BAT TO YOUR BALLS TILL YOU SOUND LIKE RICHARD SIMMONS!"

Seth howled and I lowered my voice.

_Crap...forgot about the super hearing._

"Who he chooses to go with is _his_ decision. Respect that!"

He _still_ didn't look happy. I sighed in resignation and we sat in silence for a few minutes. He had stopped the whimpering. The two of us breathing in unison was oddly comforting. I imagined Jake's reaction to this memory and smirked.  
_Big Dumb Alpha Wolf._

The doorbell rang, disturbing my train of thought. I looked at him expectantly and when he didn't budge, I scrambled to my feet. It rang again.

_Jeez..._

"Seth, I'm gonna go answer that and if I don't see you out there in ten minutes, as a human..." Seth cocked his head, "...well, as human as an over-grown shape shifter can get, I will bring whoever it is in here and show them my 'rodent problem'. You better pray that they don't have a gun."

"Ten minutes," I warned again.

He huffed as the clothes I threw at him landed on his head. He shook it, making the shirt that hung on his ear fall off, and then pawed at it miserably. I shot him a disapproving look and closed the door.

_Now who the hell can be visiting us at this time?_

* * *

**Jacob POV**

I'd been staring at her door for the past fifteen minutes. Talking to Seth had been torture. It was bad enough that he was nursing a little crush on Bella, but when he showed me what happened at the store, I blew my shit. I wasn't sure if I was madder at that smarmy Jared or Jack-off or whatever for hitting on Bella or at Seth for touching Bella.

_Stupid kid can't keep it in his pants._

I knew he was gonna whine to Bella about what a dick I was. How I had to use my Alpha voice to make him phase and then mentally abuse him while he sat in a tub. I just needed to get here before the little shit told on me. I already had a backup plan. Leah was being whiney and I didn't have a choice.

_It was affecting the pack, Bella...and you know we can't have that._

It was killing me and I knew that I had to lie my ass off tonight so she wouldn't think I'm a psycho stalker. At least when she was with Edward I knew she was safe. Well, as safe as hanging out with a vampire can be. It wasn't that I didn't trust Seth. I didn't trust Bella. She could attract trouble in a vacuum. It was a pathetic excuse. I had to see her. I needed to touch her and smell her and just be close to her.

_Wow, Black, why don't you go ahead and wear her skin while you're at it? Freakin' weirdo._

The thought of skin brought back the latest fantasy I had of her. Since I saw her in that dress at the wedding, I'd been having quite a few, and had even inadvertently thought of them while I was phased. I remember Leah ran into a tree once after she saw the one involving heels, whipped cream and nothing else. My mind went back to what that poor kid accidentally saw today. Bella arching under me, a black satin corset against her pale, cool skin, her long brown hair spread out on the pillow as she moaned my name over and over again.

_Oh, Jacob..._

"Fuck," I muttered under my breath. Now I was standing in front of her door with a raging hard-on and I needed it to go away. I adjusted my jeans and thought of the un-sexiest thing I know.

_Charlie naked...Charlie naked...Charlie naked, twirling his nightstick..._

"I always knew you were hitting on the wrong Swan," a smooth voice cut through my horrific thoughts.

_Shit...Edward._

"What you doing here, Dracula? Wife kicked you out already?"

"You amuse me, Jacob."

I saluted him. "Anytime."

"Tanya is well, thank you for asking, and no, she hasn't kicked me out. I'm just here to check up on Bella. Just like you and..." He paused, grinning.

"What?" I snapped. I wasn't really mad at him, just a little annoyed that my one-on-one time with Bella was not gonna go as planned.

_Why was he so dressed up? Was this a booty call?_

He sighed in response to my thoughts and held up his left hand. "Happily married, Jacob, and you know Bella's not that kind of girl. Really, you need to have more faith in her."

_I do and I wasn't implying..._

"I know that...by the way, does she know yet?"

"Know what?"

"That you..." The elevator dinged, thankfully cutting him off. I could identify those heavy footfalls anywhere.

"Charlie," we both muttered.

"Well, well, now, doesn't this bring back memories?" I groaned inwardly. Charlie wasn't gonna go anywhere soon. I wondered if I should pull the, "It's 9 pm, does Sue know where you are right now?" card, but I realised he would pull the same card with Billy's name on it.

"Charlie," Edward gave a curt nod.

"Edward," he replied. "How's Tanya? Your father told me you just got back from your trip." He leaned forward to knock once on the door.

"She's doing well, thank you for asking." He shot a pointed look at me. I scowled in return.

"Jacob, you wanna tell me why you boys are here? Planning to re-enact Bella's senior year?"

I smirked. "Nope, just a happy coincidence." I gritted my teeth on the 'happy.'

"Soooo...whatcha gonna tell Bella when she asks you why you're here?"

"Seth," Edward and I chorused. "Leah wanted me to check up on him."

Charlie narrowed his eyes at me. "Oh, really? Sue didn't say anything."

"It was a last minute thing. He wasn't answering her calls."

"Hmmm...he doesn't answer my...I mean, Sue's calls as well. I mean, when she uses my phone to call him," He cleared his throat and knocked again.

_Sue, my ass. Looks like I'm not the only one who thinks she attracts trouble._

"So you and Sue...pretty close, huh?" I was hell-bent on making him feel as awkward as I was feeling right now.

"We're good friends and err..." He coughed and mumbled something.

I snorted. "Yeah, good friends...in bed. Don't think I don't hear Marvin Gaye when I pass by the house. Some old-school lovin.' Not bad, Chief. Not bad at all."

Charlie went red and Edward struggled to keep his composure. I could imagine the thoughts he was hearing in Charlie's head; most of them being imaginative ways of killing me and disposing of my body. I decided to let up, keeping the _really_ good jokes for when I needed him to beat a hasty exit and give me time with Bella.

_Speaking of...where the hell is she?_

I was just about to knock when the door swung open and an extremely flustered Bella took us all in.

"Oh Lord, what now?"

"Well, hello to you, too, darling." Charlie walked past me and hugged her.

"Hi, Dad." She wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Bella." I hung back as Edward gave her a quick hug. Her eyes never left mine as she patted his back.

"It's good to see you, Edward." She spoke to Charlie, who was already taken in with the view. It really was an amazing place. "There's some lasagne in the fridge, Dad. Edward, do you mind showing him where everything is? I'll be with you in a second." Edward walked up to Charlie and pointed, leading him away from sight.

She was wearing a white tee with dark jeans and her feet were bare. Her hair was put up in a loose ponytail. I had never seen anyone so beautiful.

"Hi," she said shyly.

I scooped her up in a hug and pressed my face against her neck. She had changed her shampoo. Her hair smelled like vanilla instead of the usual strawberry. "Hi," I whispered against her skin. It felt like I hadn't touched her in forever and now that she was in my arms, it felt perfect. I felt complete. I felt her fingers rub at my shoulders. "I've missed you, Jacob," she sighed against my ear. Suddenly she let go, her soles hitting the wooden floor with a quiet pop.

"By the way..." She made a big show of pulling her arm back and punched me softly in the stomach. I feigned pain. She was punishing me for what I did to Seth.

"What was that for?"

"For being a power-crazed dickhead," she spun on her heel and walked away, pausing for a second to look back at me. "You coming or what?" she snapped.

I chuckled as I closed the door and made my way to the kitchen.

Dinner was...dinner. Seth the rat joined us a few minutes later, flinching as Bella patted the chair next hers. He greeted everyone at the table, throwing out a nervous, "Jake," as I shot him a sarcastic smile. Bella's lasagne was delicious as always and no one said anything as we practically inhaled the food on our plates. Edward stood near the kitchen table politely declining food, stating the he and Tanya had dinner reservations in a little while.

_Yeah, some poor mountain lion frolicking in the woods was about to be a romantic meal for two. _

Bella didn't say a word to me, choosing instead to talk to Charlie about work and Edward about their honeymoon.

_Yeah, like I really need to hear about vampires boning each other._

Edward and Charlie then spoke to Seth, probably about answering his phone more often. I felt sorry for the kid but he really needed to learn how to say no. Whatever Edward said seemed to have given the little brat some courage, cause after asking Bella if she needed any help with the dishes, which she politely declined, he wished her goodnight with a quick kiss on the top of her head. She smiled and touched his cheek as he threw a smirk my way. I clenched my fists under my crossed arms and managed a curt good night.

_The little..._

I helped clear the table as Bella said goodbye to Edward and Charlie, promising them both that she would stay safe and keep them updated. I loaded the dishwasher and went over to the staircase, sitting on the steps while leaning back against my elbows. She hugged Edward and I watched her as she walked him to the elevator. I started at the nape of her neck, working down her body till my eyes stopped at her hips and the swell of her ass. I forced my mind to stay pure. The last thing I wanted was for her to think I was some pervert. Even though the thought of taking her against the stairs was tantalising...

_No...No... No..._

She turned around, taking her hair out of the ponytail with her eyes closed. She still didn't know I was watching her. She realised with a gasp.

"Stop doing that!"

"What?"

"Stop popping up everywhere. Like at the wedding..." She sat next to me on the step, her hair brushing against my forearm. "You _were_ at the wedding, weren't you?"

I immediately thought of the red number she'd worn and barely stopped myself from moaning out loud. She looked so...I couldn't lie to her.

"Yeah, I was, but I had to leave early cause of that ambassador thing."

"But why were you there in the first place?"

I sat up, running my hands through my hair.

_Cause I couldn't resist you? Cause if I didn't I would never have the image of pushing that red dress up your thighs and taking you up against a wall? Cause I think I might..._

"Alice sent invitations, remember? And I wanted to see you look ridiculously uncomfortable." She smiled before sitting up, draping her legs over mine like she used to when we'd watch TV together. Her back rested against the railing.

"So, my discomfort amuses you? Some friend you are," Her voice was low, eyebrows raised at the mention of 'friend.'

_Bullshit...we were way more than just friends._

She licked her bottom lip and bit the corner as I placed a hand on her knee. I watched her lips part ever-so-slightly as I moved down her thigh and she gasped as I grabbed her under her ass and pulled her across my lap. Her hair fell like a curtain between us and the smell of vanilla hit me like an 18-wheeler. Now she could _definitely_ feel me against her thighs. I pushed her hair behind her ears and reached under it to rub at the nape of her neck. My other hand moved over her ass and rested on a patch of exposed skin between her shirt and jeans. She closed her eyes and hummed in response, one hand on my knee and the other fisted in the back of my shirt. I pulled her closer, dragging my nose over her neck before flicking the tip of my tongue over her ear lobe.

"Maybe," I whispered. She shivered. "Are you uncomfortable now?" My hand moved further up her back, rubbing circles against her soft skin. She released my knee. Her hand rested on my shoulder as her thumb stroked the base of my neck. I had to stop myself from moaning as she moved it over my jaw, her every move causing more friction against my jeans. She moved closer, swallowing thickly as her eyes flickered between my eyes and my lips.

"No," she whispered back. All I could hear was our hearts racing, heavy breathing and...music?

_Well_, _duh...of course you hear music. She's sitting on your lap and about to kiss you._

"That's good," I parted her lips and she licked the tip of my thumb. The music kept getting louder but I didn't care anymore. I grabbed her ass, pulling her, wanting her to straddle me. She started moving her leg when there was a blast of music from upstairs. Blondie whined from the direction of what I believed was Seth's room.

"_French kissing in the USAAAAAAYYYY!"_

"Why, that little fuc..." I muttered as Bella scrambled off me.

"Wow, is that the time?" She was hot when she was flustered. Blondie still yowled in the distance.

"_Kisses hard, kisses deep, a kiss to wake us from our sleeeeeep…"_

"Hey, it's late, you wanna crash on the couch? In case you don't want to drive home tonight?"

Sleeping under the same roof as Bella was tempting but I was worried I wouldn't be able to control myself. I was just about to assault her on the stairs if it wasn't for that little shithead.

"That's ok, Bells. Billy gets really antsy if I'm not home. By the way, Emily said the bachelorette party was next Saturday." I got up as soon as I calmed down, pulling at my shirt while watching her chew on her nail nervously, one hand on her waist. "So, will I see you this weekend?" I placed my hands on her hips, trying to make it as non-sexual as possible. Her heart was still racing.

"Yeah, sure." She still looked shaken up. "Is the bachelor party that weekend?"

"Yeah, bring Seth along." The music stopped.

_So I can pound his head against a stripper pole._

I kissed her forehead before giving her a quick hug.

"I'll see you soon, k, Bells?"

"Yeah. Soon."

"See you soon, Seth," I yelled menacingly. I heard his door close with a quiet click.

I looked back to see Bella at the door, still chewing her nails. I threw her a smirk before the elevator door closed. Later I sat in my '67 Chevy Impala for a full ten minutes, banging my head repeatedly against the steering wheel before driving back to Forks.

_Stupid little shithead._

_

* * *

_

**You like? Let me know!**

**And for everyone who asked for Seth, dont worry, he'll get to word vomit soon enough. Pinky swear! **

**Love ya!**

**P.s. French Kissing in the USA by Blondie is AMAZING! You HAVE to listen to it! :)**


	6. And we are homeward bound

**As always I'd like to thank stothep for beta-ing and fangbanger06 for being an ultimate cheerleader. I dont know what I'd do without them. Thank YOU for your reviews and love. I really do appreciate them. And finally, all I own is my imagination and a dinky little laptop.**

**More than life - Whitley**

* * *

_W__hat in the name of all that's holy just happened?_

I closed the door and slumped against it, pinching the bridge of my nose. I almost kissed Jacob Black. No, scratch that, I almost had sex with Jacob Black on the stairs. Ok, so I was over-reacting. I mean, we didn't even get to second base. _Second base_... I imagined his hand moving up my top, my legs straddling his hips, my hands grabbing at his denim-covered thighs, his warm fingers unhooking my...

I groaned a mixture of lust and frustration.

"Are you ok?"

Seth was sitting on the exact same step, his lanky arms draped over his knees.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WOLF BOYS?"

I stomped past him up to my room and slammed the door, the sound reverberating through the space.

_Ok, so I'm a drama queen._

I flung myself onto the bed and flailed around for a bit, hoping that pounding the pillow would pound some sense into my head.

_What was wrong with me? It's like whenever I think of him my whole being goes into slut mode. _

"Jacob is a FRIEND, Bella," I muttered, gritting my teeth. "Just because he looks like a sex god in those jeans and wearing that brown shirt that felt _so_ good under your..."

I shook my head.

_Damn slutty mind._

There was a knock on the door. I opened it to find Seth looking miserable.

"I'm so..."

"Ah ah ah," I held up my hand. I was not in the mood for apologies and I did not want to be a part of whatever he and Jacob had going on.

"But..."

"Honestly, Seth, do you not see the hand? Meet the hand, Seth. The hand does not want to hear it and by extension, neither do I. Right now, all that the hand wants to do is hold a heaping spoon of ice cream. Do you want to anger the hand Seth? Are you going to deny the hand its ice cream?"

"N...n...no."

"Thaaat's a good boy. Now, you wanna go have some ice cream with me?"

He nodded his head. I thought I heard him mutter "that time of the month" behind me but he feigned innocence when I shot him a bitch glare.

We sat at the kitchen table, Seth's feet touching the floor even on the precariously high bar stools. We ate the chocolate ice cream in silence apart from the random clinking of spoons and an occasional murmur from Seth as he finished his third bowl. The nervous tension in the air was palpable; we were both dreading the upcoming weekend for different reasons. At one point our eyes locked. Fear of an ass-whooping from Jacob hung in his eyes. Mine (and I hope he didn't notice) held the fear of another kind of ass-whooping from Jacob. One that I was gonna avoid at any cost.

* * *

We made our way back to Forks on Friday afternoon. I stopped the truck outside my house and told Seth he could phase and get back to the rez if he wanted to, that I would bring his bags a little later. He took my bags into the house, shot me a parting look and loped off into the forest. I could sense his apprehension. I couldn't decide if I should have hugged him or smacked him for the staircase interruption. God knows what would have happened if he hadn't intervened with 80's music. I wondered if hugging him in front of Jacob would result in me finding him mauled to death in the forest.

_He'd look at me with a pitiful look in his eyes. "Why...why couldn't you keep your fucking hands to yourself?" You know what? If I want to hug a friend, I'll hug a friend. Jake be damned. _

I left a note for Charlie telling him that I was going to La Push and that I would call if I was getting late. I climbed into the truck and gripped the steering wheel till my knuckles turned white.

_Get a grip, Bella. Remember when he was just your geeky, un-buff friend? Remember when he had My Little Pony hair that you wanted to braid? Remember when he wasn't advertising washboards under that t-shirt? Remember how that washboard felt when you dragged your hand over..._

I smacked my face against the steering wheel. The horn blared, making me jump back.

_Ow._

I checked my mirror to see a large red mark on my forehead.

_Great, add a vertical line to that and the whole world will know what I really am._

I rubbed at it till it looked less obvious and I promised myself that I wouldn't act like a sex-starved maniac in front of Jacob. "I am a strong, independent woman. Not a shameless, desperate hussy," I muttered like a mantra, occasionally looking out towards the forest, wondering if the pack had already sent out the welcome wagon for Seth.

I stopped in front of the familiar red house and saw that a few cars were already parked in front. I clambered out and paused as soon as I saw the black Impala among them. It looked amazing – a far cry from the stripped hunk of metal Jacob dragged in to renovate after selling the Rabbit.

"Independent woman, not shameless hussy," I muttered one last time before plastering a big smile on my face and knocking on the door.

Paul opened the door wearing low-rise jeans and an open shirt. His mouth was full of crisps and he held up a finger while he chewed and swallowed. Rachel had taught him some manners.

I crossed my arms, leaning against the door frame and pointedly tapping my watch. Paul stretched out his arms, filling the entire doorway.

"Well, well. Bella Swan."

"Hi, Paul. Nice to see you, too. Can I come in now?" I deadpanned.

"Sure, let me just tell the guys you're here." He looked past my shoulder and yelled at the forest.

"Seth's girlfriend is here!" He smirked before feigning a look of horror. "Or is it Jake's?"

I heard a howl in the distance and a crashing sound in the undergrowth.

_Oh, great._

"Thanks a lot, dickhead!" I pushed past him and made my way to the crowded kitchen. Leah and Emily were poring over a cookbook while Kim kept stirring the pots bubbling on the stove and talking to Rachel. I glimpsed Billy and Sam at the back having a beer. Sam looked shell-shocked while Billy sported an amused grin.

_Poor guy must be going nuts with the wedding._

No one noticed I had come in till Paul came up behind me and poked me on either side of my stomach, making me squeal like a stuck pig. There was silence as everyone stopped and looked at us. I stared daggers at Paul as he sat down at the kitchen counter, shoving his hands into the open packet of crisps.

"Oh, yeah, Bella's here," he said with a mouth full of crisps. Rachel smacked him on the back of his head.

"What have I told you about talking with food in your mouth? Honestly, it's like living with an animal!"

Paul grinned and stuck his tongue out. "I don't hear you complaining about that in bed, baby."

"Aaaaaand this is where I say 'hi' to Bella!" Emily came over to give me a hug. She was hardly showing but she glowed. She looked so happy that I couldn't help but mirror her smile. Leah and Kim smiled back. I was surprised at Leah's involvement and made a mental note to ask Jacob...I mean, Seth, about the whole situation. I focused back on Emily.

"You look amazing!"

"And so do you!" She grabbed my hand and made me sit at the counter. I waved at Billy and Sam and they raised their beers in reply. Paul was still making googly eyes at Rachel and throwing chips at her before she turned around, strode up to him and got on her tippy-toes to almost reach his eyes.

"Paul. Stop." He slouched against his seat, obviously defeated.

"Wow."

"Yup." She grinned. "Perks of being an imprint? He does whatever I want."

"Speaking of..." Leah muttered, her eyes still on the book. I knew he was here but I didn't want to look behind me. My whole body tensed up as I heard his footsteps. Leah threw an apple over my head and I heard a soft smack as it hit his palm. I gulped and flipped a page, not reading the words and trying hard not to attract attention to myself.

_If I keep telling myself that he's not really here then I'll stop thinking about us on the kitchen table. Oh, my! The kitchen table...he's not here...he's not here...he's not here..._

I flipped another page. It was really quiet. No one was willing to break the silence. I heard the apple smacking repeatedly against his palm. He was playing with it just like he was playing with me.

_You are a strong independent woman. You don't hunch. You take the high road._

I opened my mouth to speak but he beat me to it. "Smells good, Rach." His deep voice washed over me as I buried my head in the book again. It was a recipe for blueberry muffins that had lots of notes and additions scribbled around it, presumably by Emily.

"Thanks, bro," Rachel threw over her shoulder. "Wanna taste?"

I felt him get closer and almost let out an audible gasp as his hand touched my shoulder; bracing himself against me as he leaned in to taste the sauce off the wooden spoon she held out. I thought I felt his thumb caress my back. I flipped a few more pages in rapid succession and tried not to hyperventilate as the heat seeped through the thin fabric of my top.

And just like that, I couldn't feel it anymore and I forced myself not to look back, my fingers gripping the pages as if I was drowning. I wondered where Seth was at this moment. Seth was safe, he would keep me strong. Seth and Debbie Harry against the hotness monster.

"So, Bella, you gonna be around for the bonfire?" Emily broke the silence.

"B...bonfire?"

"Yeah, cliché I know," Emily grinned, giving the bowl she was holding a quick stir. "But we thought we'd celebrate you and Seth getting your internships. It all happened so fast, we couldn't give you guys a proper send-off."

"That's so sweet, Em, I'll definitely stay. I just need to call Charlie and let him know I'll be getting late."

"That reminds me. We need to get some firewood," Jacob spoke again.

Paul groaned.

"Or we could just set you on fire." I heard him take a bite out of the apple.

"Ha-ha." Paul got up, the stool scraping loudly against the floor and earning him a death stare from Rachel. He picked it up before putting it back in its place and sheepishly followed who I hoped was Jacob out the door. I swung around on the stool only to realise that he hadn't left after all. I was face-to-t-shirt-covered-abs and I couldn't look away. I think I even opened and shut my mouth like a demented fish. He leaned forward, his hands trapping me against the counter. His face was inches from mine.

_Oh, my god, he's gonna kiss me in front of everyone. _

I still couldn't look up. I was a deer caught in the ab-lights.

_Well at least have the decency to look at his face, cause right now you're looking at his crotch. Oh, crap. _

I looked up with a jolt. It was too quiet. I wondered if everyone had passed out, cause I was about to from the sheer hotness standing in front of me. I closed my eyes and leaned forward, only to feel his breath on my ear.

_Dammit._

"Ignoring me, Bells?" he whispered.

I shook my head slowly. He hummed against my ear.

_Not a slut. Not a slut. Not a slut._

"So I'll see you tonight?" his nose grazed ever-so-lightly on my earlobe as I nodded my head. "Can't wait," he murmured.

I hummed in reply and swallowed nervously. When I opened my eyes he was gone, the door swinging softly closed. I think I held my breath the entire time.

_Slut! Slut! Slut!_

I helped with the cooking for the rest of the evening. Sam joined in to make his famous nachos. If anyone noticed the exchange between me and Jake, they didn't mention it and I sent up a silent "thank you" to the heavens. However, Em had a twinkle in her eyes which indicated a possible conversation about it at the bonfire.

_I'll have to avoid her all night. That's easy; I'll just hide behind the beanpole._

On cue, the beanpole showed up carrying a huge bowl of chicken salad. He plonked it on the table and muttered, "Mum sent it," before making a mad dash for the door. He was fast but Leah was faster. She had his arms pinned behind him in a second.

"Oh, my God. Did Mum comb your hair?"

Seth hung his head and shook it violently, hoping to get the nerdy side-part out of it.

"Said...looked like...hooligan...beat me," he muttered and Leah released him. He immediately ran his fingers through his hair, making it stand up in awkward spikes on his head. He groaned in frustration; she had used gel and now he looked like a crazed porcupine. He gave up after a few minutes, burying his head in his hands. I patted him on the back.

He was dressed up in jeans and a button-down shirt. I looked like a hobo next to him. I pulled at my top, trying to make myself look respectable. I decided to let my hair down.

_Jeans and a tank top. Real classy._

We made our way to First Beach, here the guys had already made a humongous fire. I recognised Embry and Quil adding more wood to the blazing pile. Quil jogged over to give me an awkward hug around the bowl I was holding and Embry shyly waved before throwing in another log.

"Err, shouldn't we calm that thing down?"

Quil chuckled before taking the bowl from my hands. "Why, Bella? Scared of a little heat?"

"No...I...I... I'm just ..." I faltered as Jacob stepped into the firelight.

_Damn, that guy sure knows his cues. _

He didn't notice me as he stared intently into the fire, occasionally taking a sip from his bottle of beer. He wore jeans and a plaid shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The fire reflected in his dark eyes and his skin glinted in the flames.

I was just about to go back to the car after the recommended amount of dazed ogling when I heard him behind me.

"Bells, you came."

_That's what she said. ..honestly, NOT funny anymore._

I focused on the top button of his shirt, which was undone, showing off a little triangle of skin near his collarbone that I was dying to touch. It wasn't the best place to focus but it had to do for now.

"You want a beer?"

"Err, yeah sure, why not?" I shrugged as he loped off to pull another bottle out of the cooler.

"You legal?"

"Are _you_?" I raised an eyebrow before clinking my bottle against his. He laughed before we both took a sip. The others trickled in, bearing unbelievable amounts of food, and I was dragged from one person to another to tell them for the millionth time how amazing the apartment was, how tiring the internship was and how annoying Seth gets when he doesn't get dessert. I was talking to Rachel about the little demons I had to look after when something compelled me to look past the fire. Jacob was staring at me but he looked away as soon as I caught his eye.

_Awkward. _

"I think he likes you," Rachel smirked, identical to her brother and walked off to sit on the sand between Paul's legs. He wrapped his arms around her waist and whispered something in her ear. I looked away, feeling like a perve for intruding on their private moment. Jacob didn't say a word, choosing to stay on the other side of the fire talking with Leah and Jared.

I managed to postpone the "juicy details" conversation with Emily until tomorrow. She wasn't too pleased but I promised that I would tell all – whatever that meant – at the bachelorette party.

_Discussing unresolved sexual tension in a room full of strippers...nice._

As the fire was dying down the couples snuggled against the driftwood and I was feeling increasingly uncomfortable at my single status. Jake had disappeared with Seth so I let Em know I was gonna go for a walk.

"Not too far away, Bella," Sam and Emily chorused. They looked at each other and smiled and I felt warm and fuzzy inside for some reason.

"You two are gonna be such amazing parents." Sam smiled at me and placed a hand on Emily's stomach.

"Stay close and if you want us, just yell, ok?"

I nodded an affirmative and started walking towards the driftwood that Jake and I used to sit on. I sat on the sun-bleached branch and dug my feet into the sand, occasionally flicking grains off my toes before burying them again. I wondered if the water was cold before deciding that I really needed to take a dip.

_Bad idea, Bella._

I stripped down to my underwear and waded out into the warm water. The gentle waves lapped at my thighs as I kept walking until it finally reached my neck.

_This is how all horror movies start. You're just asking for mutant fish and serial killers to destroy you._

I let my arms float on the water, looking up at the silver moon. It was quiet save for the voices from the bonfire in the distance and the waves hitting the shore.

_Peace at last._

I suddenly felt a tug on my leg. I kicked at it violently but the grip on my ankle grew tighter. I barely had a second to suck in a breath before I was pulled under into the darkness. I flailed underwater till I came in contact with a head. I grabbed a fistful of hair and tried to push myself up but a warm hand gripped my waist and propelled us both up to the surface. I spluttered and coughed as I closed my eyes and kept hitting.

_See? SEE? This is what happens! You're gonna die and no one's gonna feel sorry cause it's all your fault. "Hasn't she watched any horror movies?" They'll ask and nod their heads in disappointment. "It's always the slutty one that dies first," Jacob will say before hitting on some other chick at the funeral. At MY funeral. Stupid Jacob and his stupid funeral sex..._

"Can you stop splashing for one second? It's getting kinda annoying."

My arms stilled and I stopped kicking my legs. I didn't go under cause a pair of strong hands was on my hips. I opened one eye, praying that this was all a bad dream. He didn't look happy.

"What the hell are you doing?" His tone was grim.

"Swimming?"

"At this time? Alone?" His eyes drifted down from my face.

_Oh, good lord, I'm in my underwear. He can see my boobs. _

I thanked my senses for making me choose black this morning. White would have been a disaster.

_Yes, Bella, cause black underwear somehow makes this situation oh-so-much better._

I slipped down a little and slapped him on the shoulder, the water making him flinch.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

_This seemed to be a recurring question in my life._

"I was trying to scare some sense into you!"

"Well, mission accomplished," I replied sardonically. I tried to swim away but he dragged me back, his arms wrapping around my waist, pulling me flush against his body. If I wasn't so angry I would have been turned on as hell. He grabbed me by the nape of my neck. My wet hair entangled in his fingers.

"Have you completely lost your fucking mind? I was trying to teach you a lesson. You keep doing these stupid, reckless things. You could have been fucking hurt!"

I started to get hysterical, my voice going up another octave with each sentence. Soon enough, I'd go supersonic.

"Who the fuck are you to tell me what I can or can't do? We're just friends Jake, and friends let friends do whatever the hell they want. Sam and Emily knew where I was so why don't you get a fucking..."

Before I could even breathe his lips were on mine. It was rough and hard and I could feel all his anger poured into the kiss. No longer feeling the sand under my feet, I wrapped them around his waist, grinding myself against him. He bit at my bottom lip, growling as he moved his hands under my bare thigh to pull me closer. I moaned as his hand fisted in my hair, while mine ran over his chest and his back, tracing the V that disappeared into his jeans.

I parted my lips and he immediately stopped. His eyes were darker than usual. I wasn't sure if it was anger or lust. He brought my face close to his. His voice was dangerously low.

"Don't you _ever_ pull shit like this with me again!"

We were back in the shallows but my legs were still wrapped around his waist. The denim clung to him like a second skin as I slid off and watched him wade back to the shore. I traced my now-swollen lower lip and shivered when I realised the water had gotten colder.

_Emily definitely doesn't need to know about this._

* * *

**My chapters seem to be getting longer and longer lol. You wanna tell me how much you love/adore/loathe me? Review! I'd love to know what you think. I promise I will try to answer any questions you may have, like was Seth cockblocking his Alpha in the last chapter? Yes, yes he was... cause he's awesome like that. :)**


	7. Four, five six, c'mon get your kicks

__

**A 100 reviews! You guys rock my world!!! So I like to say a HUGE thank you to Chimaera2009 who guest beta-d this chapter and also to my Ninja Mafia for being my extra eyes and sounding boards. As always I own nothing...except this one character...you'll see...**

**Are you gonna be my girl - Jet**

_

* * *

_

_My legs tightened around his hips as I locked my ankles behind him. His jeans were rough against my inner thigh, and his hand cupped my ass, grinding me against him. Our lips were mere inches from each other._

"_Jake..." I whispered, begging, pleading._

"_Do you want me to stop, Bells?" His voice was husky as his other hand moved up my back. _

_I didn't reply, and he ran his thumb over my bottom lip. _

"_Just say the word, Bells, and I'll stop."_

_My finger raked over his shoulders as he slid off my bra strap. I arched my back as he nibbled and sucked at my collarbone, his hand moving down to my ribs, his thumbs brushing the fabric of my bra._

"_Do you want me to stop now?" He nipped on my earlobe before kissing me, his warm hand caressing my face and neck. _

"_No," I moaned against his lips._

"_Then what do you want?" His fingers skimmed the tops of my breasts as he furrowed his brow._

"_She wants to wake up and go to a party." A giant wolf in a policeman's jacket trotted onto the sand. _

"_Dad?" My eyes popped open over Jake's shoulder just as his fingers slipped under the waistband of my underwear._

"_You're gonna be late." The wolf tapped his watch. _

"Bella? You're gonna be late." Charlie's hand patted me on the arm. I seemed to have fallen asleep while reading.

_Dammit._

"Err, yeah." I blinked groggily and prayed I hadn't said anything out loud.

"I'll call Emily and tell her you're getting late."

"Thanks, Dad." I walked to my closet and hurriedly started picking out clothes.

Charlie paused at the door. "Bella?"

"Yeah, Dad?" I scrutinized a pair of skinny jeans before throwing them onto the bed.

"Jacob giving you trouble?"

_Oh, crap._

I tried to act nonchalant while pretty much crawling into the closet so he couldn't see my face.

"No, Dad. Why?" I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Oh, just asking."

The door clicked behind him and I collapsed on the floor, my face in my hands.

* * *

By the time I got to Emily's, Kim, Leah and Rachel were already busy with the drinks. I was greeted with hugs and a margarita was pushed into my hands. I raised my glass with the others as Leah made a toast to the beautiful bride and an amazing night.

_And shameless sex dreams._

"Hi, I'm Michelle. You're Bella, right?"

I blinked at the blonde vision speaking to me. She was…stunning. She rose from her seat. She was…graceful. She stood next to me, holding out her hand. She was…tall.

I hated her instantly.

I shook her hand hesitantly and smiled. "I see my reputation precedes me."

"Oh, it's just that Rachel talks about all you guys. I feel like I know you already."

_You know nothing about me, you hot Amazonian model ... nothing._

"I went to college with Rachel here," she said, poking Rachel in the arm. "Oooh, drinks!" She squealed, grabbing another margarita. She was throwing them back like glasses of water.

_Great! A chipper, hot Amazonian model._

She seemed nice and after the first few minutes of wondering if I had 'switched teams,' I settled on the couch next to Rachel and watched as Michelle proceeded to charm the pants off everybody in the room. Even Leah looked smiley and it and it had taken years before Leah had cracked a smile at me.

"Rach," I gently prodded her. "Does she know?"

"Does she know what?"

"You know … about the guys … '_poof_?' " I whispered, moving my hands apart with my fingers spread wide.

"Poof?" She asked, confused.

"As in '_poof_' … and then '_woof?_' "

_Yeah, that first drink was making me ramble already._

She patted my leg, smiling. "No, Bella, she doesn't know, and the only _poofing_ I want to hear are my undies when the stripper arrives."

I shuddered. _Strippers._

"But what about Paul?"

"What about him? I'm sure he's at some dingy club with the rest of the guys, drooling down some blonde's fake tits."

"And you're not worried?"

"Honey, he can look at the menu all he wants, but at the end of the day, he eats at home."

"Amen!" Kim yelled from the other end of the room, already on her fourth drink.

I suppressed the errant visual of Jake drooling over some blonde whore and took a big gulp of my drink.

"Bella, can I talk to you?" Emily tugged at my hand and took me to the kitchen.

"Well, since you're dragging me, sure."

She sat on the bar stool while I leaned on my elbows on the counter, staring intently at the drink between my hands.

"You wanna tell me what happened last night?" Her nails tapped against the wood.

I cringed. "Nothing happened."

"Jake looked pissed and he was wet."

_Wet denim ... FOCUS!_

I inhaled quickly and she noticed. "OK, spill."

"I can't." I shook my head furiously. "You'll tell Sam."

"I'll tell Sam nothing."

"Even if he uses his Alpha voice?" I raised an eyebrow.

"The only person using the alpha voice in this house is me. Your secret's safe, hun." She patted my hand as I took a deep breath.

"Jacob kissed me."

She squealed like a 12-year-old getting a pony, making everyone in the living room look in our direction.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" She whispered after indicating to the girls that cats weren't being slaughtered in the kitchen.

"No, no, NO _invoking_, there will be _no_ invoking. It's not what you think. He was _pissed,_" I hissed back, one hand covering the side of my face.

"Ooooh, angry sex!" Em raised an eyebrow while taking a sip of her drink.

"Sex? No … there wasn't any sex. You lower that eyebrow right now, missy."

She giggled in response before relaxing her brow.

_It's like talking to a caffeinated squirrel._

She slumped back on the stool and pouted. "There could have been."

"I _knew_ you were spiking the juice. Drinking is dangerous for the babies, Em. You really should lay off the little bottles."

She snorted and pulled me back to the living room. I sat next to Michelle, feeling painfully inferior until she flashed a smile at me.

_How is this woman not on a runway right now?_

I heard a car stop and the women tittered nervously. I knocked back the last of my drink for some liquid courage and squeezed my eyes shut.

There was a knock on the door.

_Please let him stop once he takes off his shirt._

Leah got up to open the door and the ladies squealed and whistled. I got up immediately to get a refill.

_Please don't let him be wearing a lame gold banana hammock. _

Suddenly the cheering stopped and was replaced by groans of frustration. I turned around to see Michelle on her feet squealing while Seth, Paul, Sam and Jacob looked on, bemused. Rachel tugged at her arm, forcing her to sit down.

"What? C'mon they're haaaaawwwt!"

I covered my face with my hand and turned around. This was just too much.

"Michelle, that's the groom and his friends." Rachel didn't sound too pleased.

"Wait, so they're _not_ the strippers?"

_Oh ... mah … gah … this was priceless._

I leaned back against the wall, my mouth to the glass to keep from snorting, and intentionally avoided Jacob's eyes.

Rachel pulled a picture of Sam and Emily off the table. "Look familiar?"

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry!" She covered her eyes with her perfectly manicured hands.

Sam held up a hand. "No problem. We're sorry for interrupting, babe." He leaned down to give Emily a kiss on her forehead. "The guys needed to change, and we thought the festivities were starting at nine."

"Yeah, false alarm." Emily rolled her eyes at Michelle, who seemed to have gotten her foot out of her mouth pretty quickly.

"You know, you guys could give us an impromptu performance." Michelle winked. I gagged.

Seth sidled up to her side of the couch and sat on the arm, his eyebrows wriggling suggestively.

"For you baby ... anything."

"Michelle, he's sixteen and still lets his mum comb his hair!"

"Leah!" he whined, getting up abruptly to go stand next to Sam.

"See? Whining … _real_ sexy," Leah said sardonically.

"Since you boys are here, Michelle, this is my … _worse_ half, Paul." Paul shook her hand before hooking his fingers on the back of his jeans. "You know Sam and Seth, and this is Jacob."

I stared at Jake over the rim of my glass. He shook her hand before leaning back against the wall and crossing his arms. He was wearing a black tee and dark jeans. His scruffy hair fell over his forehead, and I was mesmerized, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed.

_Oh, my god, Bella. Will you stop eye-effing him for just one second?_

"Hi, Jacob," she almost purred. I almost threw up.

"Hi," he said, giving her a dazzling smile.

_Urgh … typical. Nothing like a good pair of tits to make a guy smile. _

I glanced down at my own and stuck out my bottom lip.

_Not bad. Maybe he would have been less angry if I had flashed him in the water._

"OK, ladies, we'll be out of your hair in 10 minutes," Sam said with a grin. "Just yell if he shows up. We'll scramble out the window."

"Yeah, don't want the stripper to get a complex after seeing _this._" Paul pointed his thumbs at his chest with a wicked smile. Rachel threw a book at him, which he caught effortlessly.

"Oooh, foreplay!" Paul smirked and ran up the stairs before she could throw anything else, and the rest followed.

"Ladies." Jake nodded to the girls on the couch. I saw Michelle squirm and raise an eyebrow, meeting his chocolate brown eyes.

"Bella."

I gulped and acknowledged him with a quick nod. He trotted up the stairs and I forced myself not to look at his ass.

_One minute you're ranting against him and the next you're ogling his assets. Shameless._

"Well, hell-to-the-o," Michelle sighed. "Those boys are just ..."

"Watch it, buddy, that's my man you're talking about." Rachel smacked her playfully on the shoulder.

"Yeah, well, Jacob isn't taken, is he?"

The room went deathly quiet as four heads turned slowly to look at me. It was freaky. Like, _The Exorcist_ freaky.

"Um..." Emily's eyes darted around nervously at me, Kim, Leah and Rachel.

Michelle picked up on the vibe. "Oh, Bella, I'm sorry. I should just shut up."

"No, no, we're not together or anything. Ignore these whack jobs; we're just friends." I walked over to the empty chair and sat down after throwing a cushion and a "stop it" glare at Rachel.

"Oh, OK." Michelle looked infinitely pleased. "So it'd be OK if he and I hung out?"

_The only place you'll be hanging out is from a tree branch … by a noose._

I plastered a big fake smile on my face. "Sure, sure. Be my guest."

The boys left 10 minutes later but I missed them because I was holed up in the bathroom with Michelle, who was trying to take my clothes off.

_Lady, we just met. And what you're trying to do? It's called sexual assault._

"Oh, Bella, you'd look _so much cuter_ without the cardigan. You have such an amazing figure."

I really didn't want to argue, and I was buzzed. I gave her another fake smile and nodded my head before stuffing the cardigan into my bag. I looked down at my skinny jeans and black, strappy top while she loosened my ponytail and executed some complicated, twisty thing that made my hair look so much more sophisticated.

_I really hate this woman._

She pulled me out of the bathroom and paraded me in front of the others while they squealed and giggled, obviously affected by the seemingly never-ending supply of booze. I rolled my eyes and sat down when the phone rang. Kim reached over to answer it, her smile disappearing as the call continued. She mumbled a hurried "OK, fine" and hung up the phone.

"Bad news, guys, the stripper is sick." Everyone "awwwed" while I did a mental fist pump. "Apparently it's a bad case of diarrhea" The "awwwws" turned to "ewwwws," and I could see everyone look relieved that he wasn't coming. My brain was doing the Macarena with joy.

_No dollar bills down man thongs. Woot!_

"So, what do you guys wanna do?" Michelle piped up.

_Damn overenthusiastic Amazon._

"There's a club in Port Angeles." Kim started clearing the empty glasses.

"Oh, yeah, but we're all pretty buzzed so ..." I stammered as I mentally crossed my fingers.

"I'm not. I can totally drive us there." Emily was still in squirrel mode.

_Damn! Damn! Damn!_

I reluctantly piled into the car with the others and crossed my arms, pouting while they chattered excitedly about drinks, boys and clothes.

_You can take me there, but I sure as hell won't enjoy it._

The club wasn't as packed as we had thought it would be. One flirtatious smile from Michelle and we were in after just a five-minute wait in the line. I secretly envied her ability to get whatever she wanted with her looks. We stood at the bar, drinks in hand, and people-watched for a little while. We got a few free drinks and Michelle was hit on left, right and centre.

I _totally_ wasn't jealous.

I was telling Kim about a bakery in Seattle when there was a tap on my shoulder.

"Bella?"

I squinted in the dim lights, and then my jaw dropped to the floor.

"_Mike Newton_?"

"The one and only." He flashed me a grin.

_Oh, God, he's whitened his teeth._

He gave me an awkward hug, and I patted him nervously on the back.

"Wow, Bella, you look ..." He waved his arm over my form. I suddenly felt very naked.

"Andyou_ ..._" I imitated him. _…look like a moron. Lay off the spray tan, dude._

"You wanna dance?" He swung his arms like a dork, and I heard the others giggle behind me. "For old time's sake? … Unless Edward's here – he's not here, is he?" He looked terrified. This amused me.

"No, Mike, we're not together anymore. He got married."

He brightened up considerably before holding out his hand. "So?"

_Great, a pity dance. This night can only get better, right?_

The song abruptly changed to "Sexual Healing" by Marvin Gaye. The gaggle behind me burst out laughing as Mike dragged me to the dance floor and started doing awkward vertical worm movements.

_Kill. Me. Now._

I could see the girls practically rolling on the floor in hysterics as I shuffled from one foot to the other, trying to avoid looking at the other couples acting out the lyrics around us. I maintained a respectable distance and shot daggers at Leah, who was now biting her lip and thrusting her pelvis in the direction of Mike's back. I shifted positions so I couldn't see them anymore and prayed the torture would end soon. The song seemed to go on forever.

_What is this? The extended-to-eternity edition?_

Suddenly Mike stopped his gyrations and straightened up. A look of terror crossed his face. I kept up the shuffling until I realized most of the women on the dance floor had already followed suit.

_Geez, you'd think Johnny Depp had just walked in._

I turned around. The pack had just arrived, looking like a multiple orgasm on legs. Sam walked up to Emily and kissed her neck, wrapping his arms around her waist, and Paul dropped a quick kiss on Rachel's forehead. Seth waved and I waved back, earning me smiles from Quil, Embry and Jared, who had Kim's hand tightly in his. I looked back at Mike, who seemed to have calmed down considerably, and I wondered if Jacob had left early.

_With a stripper in tow, perhaps. _

I resumed the shuffling, staring at my feet as I felt everyone at the bar staring at my back. Suddenly, Mike lurched forward, hugging me and muttering something about "seeing a friend … that corner … see you around" before abandoning me on the dance floor. I pushed my hair behind my ear and attempted to walk back to the bar with some dignity.

_Stupid Newton._

I smiled again at Seth, who gave me a "Him? _Really_?" look, and then stopped dead in my tracks.

He had his back to the bar and was leaning on his elbows. He had swapped his black tee for a button-down with messily rolled up sleeves. The hippos were doing "Swan Lake" in my stomach as he furrowed his brow the same way he did in my dream – the same way he did before I could tell him what I wanted him to do to me in explicit detail. He smiled at me as I made my way up to him. Then Michelle popped up between us.

"Hey, Jake, you wanna dance?"

He looked at Mike, who was trying to look inconspicuous in a dark corner, and shot her a smirk.

"Sure, sure, why not?"

_Well, mother fuc–_

* * *

**Oh Jake!...Oh Bella!...Oh my! **

**Give me some sugar...I am your neighbour...if you like! :)**


	8. Been thinking about you all night

**Twilight has ****never **

**been mine to keep le sigh**

**Wish I owned Jacob**

**_Carry out _- Timberlake/Timbaland**

**_Been thinking about you _- Mario**

* * *

I tried not to look too surprised as Michelle immediately began to rub up against him. It was like watching a rap video. After the second song, I decided to make a game of it and have a shot every time she flipped her hair, touched herself or made an "O" face while practically humping his leg.

_He'd love that...oooh hair flip! DRINK!_

I think I missed about 15 shots cause I couldn't take my eyes off Jake. He looked...happy. Ecstatic even. My heart plummeted to my feet when I realised that he hardly even looked in my direction. I snapped my fingers at the bar keep and she immediately plonked another shot of vodka on the counter with a sympathetic look. I smiled like a moron and knocked it back.

_You may ply me with alcohol, lady, but you will not see me break._

I swung my head around to see Rachel mouth, "I'm sorry." I waved her off after mouthing, "Just friends."

"_O" face! "O" face! DRINK!_

He really was a good dancer. He wasn't going to break out the moonwalk or anything but he had serious rhythm. I wondered if what they said about good dancers and bedroom skills was true and held the cool glass to my hot cheeks. I abandoned the game a few seconds later when Michelle started pulling off combos that needed six weeks of food money to compete with. Plus the edges of my vision were on the verge of going blurry and my "I can handle this" quota was one drink away from imploding.

I watched as his hands went down to her hips, his face lowered to catch her eye before giving one her of his knee-weakening smiles. I swallowed the bile that had accumulated in my throat and grabbed Seth's wrist.

"Whatcha say, roomie? Wanna dance?"

"Bella, you don't dance." He looked confused.

He was right. I have been known to kill on the dance floor, and not in a good way. I rolled my eyes.

"You'll help me and I promise I'll stay in the safe-shuffle zone. I swear I won't go all b-girl on you." I held up two fingers.

Seth touched the back of his head, grinning from ear to ear before he spluttered out, "B-girl?"

"Dude, just cause I read Austen doesn't mean I can't appreciate hip hop."

Seth looked nervously at Jacob and I followed his gaze. Michelle was whispering in his ear. He looked amused.

"Please?"

He shrugged as I pulled him behind me by his shirt. Leah "wooo-ed" from the bar.

_Someone needs to be cut off._

Seth was almost as good as Jacob in the dancing department, occasionally breaking out the robot and impersonations of Newton to make me laugh. Gravity, however, decided that it had kept me vertical long enough and shuffled me into someone's spilled drink.

_Oh, crap._

I closed my eyes and waited for the awkwardness of walking around for the rest of the night with a damp ass, but it never happened. One arm wrapped around my waist and another hiked me up under my ass as Seth pulled me against him, saving me from sprawling all over a sticky floor.

"You ok?" He looked extremely concerned.

The alcohol sloshing about in my system made this question seem a million times more hilarious than usual. Seconds later we were both laughing like morons. I gripped his upper arm to steady myself and the laugh died on my lips when I saw Jacob's face.

_Ruh-roh._

Seth followed my gaze and immediately let go of my waist.

"Seth...ass," I stared pointedly at his arm and he snapped it away like he'd been burned. Jake's eyes smoldered and his mouth was set in a grim line. His hands must have tightened cause Michelle suddenly yelped before giggling. "Ooooh you like it rough, huh?"

He growled angrily in reply. His eyes never left mine but Michelle didn't seem to notice. I glanced up at Seth, who looked like he was about to be sick. I patted his arm and he flinched.

"Seth, its fine." I kept my voice low but I knew they both could hear what I was saying. "Don't mind him. He's just being a possessive ass." I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. "He can't own everything." Seth still looked pale. "If he gives you trouble, you tell me, k? Promise?" I added when all I got was a feeble nod.

Thankfully the song ended and I pushed Seth back to the bar. Halfway there a hand grabbed mine.

_Oh, buddy, you messed with the wrong chick._

I whipped my head around, ready to hand out a can of whoop-ass when I realised it was Jake.

"Dance with me," he murmured. It was a command more than a request. Before I could answer, he pulled me back against him. He placed his hands under mine, lacing his fingers through them before pulling us both away from the view of the bar into a dark corner. I let out a staggered breath as he dragged his hands down the side of my body to rest on my hips. His thumbs hooked into my belt loops as he moved us to the rhythm.

"Having fun?" He said through gritted teeth.

"Maybe."

_Two can play at this game._

"Loosen up, Bells. Never been to a club before? I mean, I know you're not the social type but I expected more from you than old white guy moves."

_Oh, no he didn't._

I knew he was just trying to rile me up and in a less intoxicated state I would have told him to shove it. But right now I was pressed up against a very hot and, from what I could feel against my lower back, very aroused guy and the tenth shot of vodka was telling me I should be very pleased that I put him in that situation. The eleventh told me I should make his jeans as uncomfortable as I could.

I swam through the haziness, trying to remember the music videos I had seen while moving my hands across his ass and down to grip the back of his thighs. I tried to ignore the fact that all I felt was muscle. I slid down the length of his body, my top riding up against his hands. He splayed his fingers on my stomach while his other hand pulled my top back down. I bent over slightly before pulling myself back up, getting up on tip toe to rub into him, feeling him get impossibly harder.

"Oh, fuck," he moaned as I wrapped a hand around the nape of his neck and pulled his head down to whisper in his ear.

"Can an old white guy do that?"

"The last thing on my mind is an old white guy, Bells." He sounded breathless. I grinned as I imagined his tortured face. "Actually..." He lifted me till I could feel him between my thighs. I inhaled quickly as his fingers slid down my arm, his lips pressed against my neck, "...the only thing on my mind right now is how..."

"Jacob! I was looking for you, silly!" He dropped me like a hot potato.

_Damn you, Michelle!_

"Bella, do you mind if I cut in?"

"Sure, sure," I said out of habit and jumped when I felt his fingers on my lower back. It was so quick I wondered if I was imagining it but when I looked back at him he had his lower lip between his fingers, his eyebrow raised.

"I mean..." I looked back at Michelle "...sure. Be my guest."

I heard her whine behind me, "It's so dark here, Jakey, let's go back."

_Jakey? JAKEY!? Oh he'd love that! Maybe she'll give him a shirt with "Jakey-poo hearts Mish-Mish forevah!" on it._

I should have looked where I was going cause I walked into Seth, who looked dismal.

"No one wants to dance with me and Paul called me a douche."

"Awww Seth, are you sure?"

_Please say no, please say no, please say no._

He noticed my hesitation. "Just this song, Bell...a." His eyes flickered quickly to see if his alpha caught his almost-slip. He hadn't, but only cause he was whispering in the blonde's ear.

_Wow, does he move fast or what? _

I wasn't sure whether to feel like a slut for being all over a guy who was now all over someone else but it was killing my buzz, so I shook my head and began the shuffle. The shuffle was safe; the shuffle wouldn't kill me or make me look like a stripper working for tips.

"So. What's going on with you and..." he nodded in Jacob's direction.

"Nothing. Nothing's going on. As you can see, he's suitably occupied with Michelle. Just friends." I held my hands up in innocence. I wondered how much of our "friendship" Seth had witnessed and why Jake was fine with dry-humping Michelle under the strobe lights.

"Oh, he's suitably occupied, alright."

I grabbed his wrists and whirled him around to get a better look.

_Fuck._

Jake was kissing Michelle.

_Are you fucking kidding me?_

"What...the...fuck..." I pushed past Seth but he put his hand on my shoulder.

"Bella."

Jake's eyes popped open, his lips still on hers. I held his gaze as Michelle's hands roamed all over his body before fisting in his hair. His hands remained stationary on her back.

_Payback's a bitch, asshole._

I whirled around, got on my tiptoes and grabbed Seth by the shoulders before kissing him. For a few seconds he was unresponsive but then he grabbed my waist, pulling me against him while running his hand through my hair.

_I'm gonna regret this._

His lips were softer than Jacob's and held none of the heat of that experience. I heard Leah hoot in the background. He kissed me with what I could only describe as reverence and I stiffened as he hummed in satisfaction against my lips before pulling away. When I opened my eyes he was looking past me with a steely glare. He was challenging Jacob but I wasn't in the mood to get in on that dog fight.

"I'm...I'm sorry," I whispered, my fingers on my lips. I grabbed my bag off the counter, avoiding everyone's eyes. Embry chuckled in my ear, "It's about time that boy got some action," as I fumbled around for my purse to pay for the drinks. Emily touched my shoulder. "Bella, are you ok? We can talk..."

"I'm fine, Em, I just need to get back home. My head is killing me."

_And so is my heart._

I didn't look back, pushing through the crowd till I reached the entrance. The cool air hit me and for a second it was sweet relief.

"We need to talk."

_Boy, oh boy, was he angry._

He dragged me into the dark alley next to the club and trapped me against the wall with his body. He pushed his knee between my legs, spreading them, and pinned my wrists against the brick wall. Every inch of his hot body pressed up against mine as I struggled to maintain my composure.

"What the fuck was that about?" His face hovered inches from mine.

"I could ask you the same thing," I spat back.

"She kissed ME. What do you expect me to do? Make a scene in front of everyone?"

"No, Jake, I expect you to shove your tongue down her throat and give everyone a show like two seals mating at Sea World. Go give 'em their money's worth. I'm sure there are a few hundred chicks in there that didn't get to hump your almighty alpha leg."

_Doofus! YOU'RE humping his almighty alpha leg!_

He growled. "There's only one..." I could feel him hard against me before he lowered his head to my neck. I felt his teeth graze against my skin and I gasped when he sucked on it.

_Way to maintain the anger, Bella. Brava. Your brain cells are gonna start a slow clap anytime now. Not to mention Michelle..._

"Michelle," I blurted out.

"What?"

"Michelle! You should go back to her." I struggled against him and he stepped away while I rubbed at my wrists. "Don't let little old me keep you from your man-whoring."

_Cue stormy exit._

"Whatever this..." I indicated between the two of us "...is, this _phase_ you're going through? You need to make up your mind cause I'm not some kind of backup plan for you. Gah! Sometimes you're such...you're such an Edward!" I stomped off, leaving a bemused and pissed Jacob behind. I prayed that I wouldn't trip and ruin the whole effect.

_I don't care, I don't care, I don't care. _

I had to go meet Alice tomorrow to see what designer torture device she had planned for the wedding. The last thing I needed to think about was Jacob "must-have-my-cake-and-eat-it-too" Black.

_I was no one's cake._

I hailed a cab, quickly sending a text to Emily telling her that I was ok and that I'd see her tomorrow. I thought back to what I did in the club and groaned while smacking my head repeatedly against the window. The driver shot me a look of concern. I needed time away from the wolves. I was close to having heat stroke and it was making me act like a lunatic. A day with cool, level-headed vampires was just what I needed to get a pair of dark eyes out of my head. I prayed that Edward had eaten.

* * *

**Please leave all death threats to me in clear handwriting by pressing the little green button below. :)**

**In other news, my Ninja Mafia kick so much beta ass they need their own series. Preferably starring Robward and Paulex. **

**And finally much love to two amazing authors ForeverDreamland (who writes a sex-god Jake in "Coming Closer") and wordslinger (whose Jake I need to marry in "Distortion") for being so lovely and rec-ing the little muffin. I pink puffy heart you!**


	9. I dont know where we are going now

**Thanks so much for all you reviews! I'm sorry if I'm late with replies. I'm going back home in a few days and I've been crazy busy. As always love to my Ninja Mafia stothep and fangbanger06 for being my betas and being very easy on the eyes. They write amazing fics so show them some luuurve! **

**Aaaand finally....Bella is 21, you'll figure out what the hale is wrong with Jacob today, The song for the chapter is Dakota by the Stereophonics and I own nothing, except a poor imitation of Seth in my little brother.**

**

* * *

**

Jacob

Seth had been pawing at my door for the past two hours and it was starting to rattle my nerves. It was bad enough that he had kissed Bella, but then the little punk had had the nerve to stare at me after I went back in the club. I had finally growled at him to stand down. Now the little ass-kisser was outside my room, desperate to get back into my good books. I cursed under my breath when I heard Billy let him in the house. I wasn't going to give him the same treatment and let him inside my room.

_Let him beg, the little shit-head._

I drowned out the whining, restraining myself from yelling at him to fuck off by thinking about Bella. I groaned when I remembered how she had felt pressed up against me. The scratching outside my door suddenly stopped.

_Ha! Let the perve think I'm whacking off to his little princess._

The whining resumed. I pulled my pillow over my head and closed my eyes, replaying the scene of us dancing over and over again. I smiled when I remembered that one move she had pulled. Her top had ridden up, giving me a flash of her lower back as she bent over. I knew I had to touch it, and when I heard her say, "Sure, sure," the need was undeniable. Her skin felt amazing, cool and soft against my hot, rough fingers. If nothing else I knew one thing for sure – I loved making her gasp and would do anything to hear her moan like she did that night in the water.

The noise outside had taken on a rhythm. Two whispered 'Jacob's to three plaintive scratches and one whine. I let it lull me to sleep.

_I'll deal with him tomorrow._

I woke up to the sound of birds and, mercifully, no Seth outside my door. As I pulled on a pair of sweatpants I hoped that he had given up and gone home. My stomach rumbled when I left my room, rubbing at my bleary eyes. Dad was in the kitchen making toast. He saw me and nodded his head in the direction of the couch. Seth lay sprawled under a blanket, fast asleep and still in his clothes from last night. I rolled my eyes at Dad but he looked grim. He pointed the butter knife at Seth and whispered, "He's just a kid, Jacob. Whatever happened last night? He's really messed up about it."

_Oh, I'll show him messed up._

I sat on the arm of the couch, trying not to stamp on the acres of limbs spilling all over the place.

"Hey, Seth." I rested my elbows on my knees and watched as he waved at me, his eyes tightly shut.

"Five more minutes, Mum," he mumbled.

I leaned over and smacked him hard on his arm. He woke up with a yelp. "What the fuck, Jake?" he whined, rubbing at the sore spot.

"Watch the language, Seth," Billy said calmly from the kitchen.

"Yeah, dickhead, mind your language!"

"You too, Jacob, or no breakfast for either of you."

Seth stuck his tongue out at me and I paid him back with another punch. "Yeah, real mature, Seth."

He sat grudgingly at the table but brightened up considerably when he saw the food. "Thanks, Billy," he grinned before tucking into a heaping plate of eggs.

_That should be my share of eggs._

I glared at him for a little while before digging into my own plate. These Alpha tendencies were getting annoying.

"So, what's the plan today, boys?" Billy seemed intent on forcing us to talk. I imagined him pulling out his rifle as a last resort and making us hug it out at gunpoint. I swallowed the last bit of eggs.

"Need to talk to Emily."

"She's at the Cullen's with Bella and Leah," the eager beaver jumped in, "trying out dresses."

"Hmm...Guess I'll have to talk to Sam, then," I pushed my chair back, dumping the plate in the sink.

"Can I come?"

"No, you little..." I stopped when I saw Billy's face. My shoulders slumped in defeat. "Fine, but you better keep your trap shut or I'll rip your head off."

He zipped his mouth and threw away an imaginary key.

_That kid's been hanging around Bella too long._

Before long, we were at Emily's. It felt weird that we didn't smell food as we walked in. We weren't the only ones disappointed. Sam was sitting on the couch looking like someone had died. The TV was on but his eyes were focused on a spot above it. He'd sporadically stuff his face with handfuls of popcorn from the bowl on his lap. Seth vaulted over the sofa and grabbed a handful.

"Jeez, Seth, you just ate."

"Stee hongree," he blurted out, his mouth full of popcorn.

Sam passed the bowl over to an ecstatic Seth before uttering a gloomy, "Hi".

"What's wrong, Sam?"

"Emly?" Bits of popcorn flew out of Seth's mouth.

"If you talk with your mouth full one more time..." _I'll shove that bowl down your throat_.

Sam switched off the TV and went to sit at the kitchen counter, fingering one of her cookbooks.

"She'll be back soon enough," I gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

"I know. I just hate being away from her."

I sat across from him, wondering if this was the best time to ask him the question that had been plaguing me for the past few months.

"Jacob wants to know if he has imprinted," Seth blurted out. Obviously, he had no tact. I turned around and pursed my lips.

"Yeah, what he said."

Sam's face was a mixture of worry and relief. "You...you imprinted? On whom?"

"No, wait," I buried my face in my hands for a second to keep from throttling the little shit. "Let me go back to before Bozo the Clown here started jumping through flaming hoops. What I was gonna ask is, how did you know when you imprinted on Em? Was it really all that romantic shit we hear about in the legends?"

"For me it was. I mean, I loved Lee-Lee, but when I saw Em, it was like...I couldn't imagine ever being with anyone else. That doesn't mean I don't still love Leah. I just love her in a different way. Who is it, Jacob?"

"I think it's Bella. I don't know. I love her and I wanna be with her but last night when Michelle kissed me, it didn't...it didn't feel wrong."

_Oh God, I'm talking about my feelings. Oprah better film this shit._

"I have a theory..."

"So do I!" Seth yelled from the couch.

"Shut up, Seth!" we yelled in unison.

"Fine then!" He put the TV back on and kept changing channels till it stopped at some music video where four disembodied heads with serious 70's hair crooned over a synthesiser. I rolled my eyes and looked back at Sam.

"So what's your theory?"

"_I'm not in love...so don't forget it...its just some silly phase I'm going through..."_

I gritted my teeth. "Seth, if I wanted a theme song for my life I would have asked. So either you turn that shit down or I dump your carcass in a field."

"_I like to see you...but then again...that doesn't mean you mean that much to me…"_

"My theories are either you haven't imprinted at all," I made a fist and he noticed, "or...or you're just weird."

"Oh, he's weird alright." Seth had finished the popcorn and was now washing the bowl in the sink. "He keeps kissing her and then running away."

"Seth..."

"No, you listen to me. Bella is _my_ friend and I don't want you hurting her just cause you can't figure out your own messed-up brain. So either you come clean and tell her that you may have imprinted or just go back to being good friends." He glared at me like he'd done at the club before sitting back on the couch.

_Kid's finally growing some balls._

"As hard as it is for me to say it, Seth's right." Sam rolled his eyes as Seth heard him and did a fist pump, hooting with joy. "Either you tell her or you keep it in your pants. Jake..." he looked concerned as my face contorted with the pain of indecision, "you've always been...different. You did a lot of things differently. You could phase back and forth faster than any of us and when you try really hard, we can't hear your thoughts at all. Maybe your imprinting gene is wired differently. Because you're the true Alpha, maybe you can fight it harder than we can."

_Great, I was a special snowflake._

"Tell me what to do, Sam."

"If I were you, I'd ease up on the sexual tension. Try and be her friend for a bit instead of groping her at every opportunity. I know it's hard cause you've loved her forever, but she's not going anywhere. See if that helps."

I nodded, grabbing my cell out of my back pocket.

"What are you doing?"

"I need to talk to her...as a friend," I clarified when he gave me a look of disbelief. "I need to apologise about last night."

"Fine."

"And don't use your sex voice," Seth yelled over the noise of the TV.

"Sex voice?"

"Yeah, like 'Hi, Bella, you're so hot! Whatcha wearing?'" He made me sound like a breathy retard.

I flipped him the bird while dialling and then listened for the tone. After a few rings it went to voice mail. I kept it cool and casual. No sex voice, whatever the crap that was.

"Hey, Bells, just called to apologise about last night. I was an ass and..."

"_My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, hun!"_

_What the fuck? _

I struggled to keep my composure. "Err, yeah, so, err, call me when you can. We need to talk."

_Perfect! I just recorded a message for her with "Baby Got Back" in the background._

"SETH!" I stood up and roared as he bolted out the door. Sam tried not to laugh.

_Just wait till he phases; I'll feed him to the fucking mountain lions._

* * *

**Bella**

"How much longer?" I hissed as Alice flitted about, tugging at the drapes in the olive green satin bridesmaid's dress. She took a few steps back and placed her hands on her tiny hips.

"Perfect," she whispered.

"Just like you, darling." Jasper kissed her shoulder before going to sit on the couch with Emmett. They were playing some video game and Jasper kept making Emmett nervous.

"How does it feel to know you only win cause of your fucked up mind games?" Emmett grumbled as Jasper beat him again then stretched out on the couch with his hands behind his head, a smug smile on his face.

"It feels good. _Real_ good," he smirked. His southern drawl carried a wave of contentment.

"Dammit, Jazz!" Emmett snapped. "One more game."

Jasper picked up the controller, the smirk still etched on his face. "Game on, brother."

I rolled my eyes at them and fixed a steely gaze on Alice, who was now rummaging through shopping bags full of shoe boxes.

"How much longer, Alice?" I whined and Leah snorted, not even looking up from the magazine she was reading. I was surprised that she was here at all. I wondered if she had built up immunity to eau de vamp, like Seth had.

_Wait till she's put up here._

"Yeah, how much longer, Alice?" Emily yelled from the kitchen. Esme was helping her pick a wedding menu.

"Are you rushing perfection?" Alice threw out a bitch stare. Everyone but Jasper and Leah cowered at the pint-size ball of fury.

"No, sweetheart, they're just excited about the wedding. Remember how you get before Paris fashion week?" Alice nodded her head meekly. "Just like that."

"Stop making me feel good about losing, dammit!" Emmett threw down the controller and stomped outside to tear up a few small trees and smash some boulders in a childish display of anger.

_Yea, a child on steroids that can kill you, maybe._

"Emmett! I just planted those!" Esme yelled before running outside. We watched in silence as Emmett hung his head, clearly being told off by his mother, who barely reached his shoulders. Esme folded her arms and tapped her foot impatiently as he cleared up the debris.

_Oh snap, that's gonna come out of his allowance._

We tried to look busy as he came back in. I tugged at my dress and Rose murmured, "I told him never to play with Jasper. Edward is so much easier to beat."

We waited until we heard his door slam upstairs before bursting into hysterics. Even Leah dropped her magazine to laugh it up with the rest of us.

"What's so funny?" Edward strolled in, hand in hand with Tanya. Jasper tilted his head at the carnage outside and Edward smirked. "You really shouldn't play with him, Jasper. You know what a sore loser he is."

"I know," Jasper shrugged, "but he amuses me."

I glared at Edward when he tried to hug me. He gave a curt nod and joined Jasper on the couch.

"Try this necklace, Bella." I raised my hair to let Alice fasten the clasp behind my neck. Her eyes went wide.

"Bella, is that...is that a hickey?"

I dropped my hair back down. "What? That? No...Got bitten by some insect."

_Damn my poor makeup and lying abilities._

"Must have been some insect," Leah murmured.

"Leah," I hissed.

"What? I'm sure it was a dirty great insect." She looked innocent before sticking her tongue out at me.

"Jacob?" Edward perked up. Leah did a double take; a guilty look crossed her face.

_Damn mind reader._

Edward strode up and touched my neck. "Jacob did this to you?"

"It's no big deal." I pushed his cool fingers away. "It was an accident."

"Oh, so he tripped and he bit your neck to keep from falling?"

_Note to self: lie better._

"I don't want to talk about it," I raised my voice, "especially when everyone in the room has super hearing and is looking for gossip like the old ladies at Tina's Salon."

_Oh, the horrific perms._

I shuddered.

"Fine," I could hear the concern in his voice. "He better not be hurting you."

"He's not." I touched the necklace while pulling my hair down to cover the badly concealed mark.

"You look beautiful, Bella." Tanya slipped her hand through his, resting her head on his shoulder. "She really does. This is gonna knock Jacob...I mean, whomever you're bringing to the wedding, off his feet."

"I'm going with Seth...as friends."

"That's great, Bella, the kid needs some...you kissed him?"

"Leah, can you control your thoughts for just one second?" I stepped off the footstool, almost falling over in the ridiculously high heels.

_After the ceremony, someone's gonna find these in the woods. Designer one-offs be damned!_

"You KISSED Seth?" Edward ran his hand through his copper hair and for a moment I wondered what Jake would look like with Edward's permanent sex hair.

_Not a good time, Bella. Your ex is freaking out like a claustrophobic trapped in an elevator._

"Will you please calm down?" I grabbed the arm Tanya wasn't holding and tried unsuccessfully to shake some sense into him.

"How does he feel about this?"

"I don't know and can you please stop making it sound like I molested him against the DJ console?"

"No, we DON'T have a bromance, Emmett and if you have something to say I suggest you stop pouting upstairs and come say it to my face!" Edward yelled past me towards the stairs. A door banged in response.

"Can we talk about this later? Pleeease?" I whined under my breath.

"Edward," a hint of a threat laced Tanya's voice.

"Fine," he relented. "Later."

I knew I wouldn't be able to put the discussion off for long, but for now I was going to enjoy my day with the Cullens. I laughed and envied Leah when she tried on her dress, her athletic form filling out the beautiful halter style Alice had picked for her. For someone who was barefoot or in sneakers most of the time, she practically glided on heels. I said a silent prayer for the fate of Seth's toes and comforted myself by knowing that he'd heal soon enough.

"Remember, Bella, we have to practice for the first dance next weekend." Alice hung off the truck door, her eyes shining with the prospect of making me stumble about in the death traps strapped to my feet.

_RIP toes, RIP._

Seth hopped into the passenger seat when I picked him up from outside my house. Charlie came to my side of the truck and kissed me on the forehead.

"I feel like I hardly saw you this weekend."

"Sorry, Dad. I promise next weekend you and I will spend one whole day together," his face fell, "...but you promised Billy you'll go fishing, so we'll just have to do brunch."

"Atta girl." He looked past me at Seth. "You look after my girl, you hear? And you make sure he doesn't get into trouble, Bells."

"Yes, sir!" Seth saluted and laughed.

"See you next weekend, Dad." I waved and waited as Charlie went back inside the house.

"So, did you listen to your messages?" Seth asked as I checked the mirror for oncoming traffic.

"No." I scrambled for my phone. "I really need to stop leaving it in my bag." It showed that I had one new message.

"Jacob," I murmured. "I mean, not that I care or anything." I shot a nervous grin at Seth.

_There you go...keep it cool. Light and breezy... aaaand do a hair flip before you listen to the message...perfect!_

My eyes widened as I listened to him stutter through the message. I stared at the screen for a few moments before looking over at Seth, who was laughing like an idiot.

"Baby. Got. Back?"

* * *

**Huh? Huh? You like? You like? Let me know! **


	10. This white flag waving just won't end

**As usual I have a million things to say, so I'll ration them between the beginning and the end. **

**First, I have to apologise if I have offended anyone with any of the terms I use in this story. In my defence, I dont use them myself, I just try to get into character and in the future if I do (and believe me I will be more careful next time) please know that it's just for the story and does not reflect my personal beliefs. **

**Second, you will want to kill me at the end of this chapter. I'm not doing this to get more reviews or anything, its just the natural place my brain stops at. I promise, the payoff will be HUGE (Thats what she said) in the next chapter and e) Songs for the chapter? Be Ok- Ingrid Michaelson and Let me in - Hot Hot Heat in that order. :)**

* * *

Seth and I hardly said a word to each other after laughing over Jacob's message. That night we ate in silence, both afraid to broach the subject of the kiss. We muttered good night and retired to our rooms. I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, hoping I hadn't ruined our friendship forever.

_I mean, he had to know why I did it, right? Wait, why _did_ I do it in the first place? I was drunk… yeah, that's it. I was buzzed and I wanted to show Jacob that he's not the only one who can score. Scoring with Seth? Ewwww! That's almost incest! _

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to get the images out of my head and falling asleep in the process.

I woke up the next morning to a shrill phone.

"Hello?" I mumbled into the receiver.

"Bella?"

"Dad!" I sat up. "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, honey, don't worry. I… err… wanted to tell you something. I was gonna tell you when you came home but there never seemed to be a good enough time and I didn't want you to find out from anyone else."

"Dad, you're scaring me."

He chuckled. "Yeah, I'm scared, too."

I clutched at my chest.

_Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God_

"Bella, I'm err...I'm gonna ask Sue to marry me."

I let out the breath I'd been holding for what felt like ten years.

"That's...great, Dad."

"Wow, don't go bouncing off the walls, now."

"I'm sorry, it's just that I woke up and for a minute there I thought someone was dying."

"It _is_ the death of my swinging lifestyle."

"Yeah, I'm sure Billy's heartbroken."

"So, you're ok with this?"

"Are you kidding? I'm more than ok with this. Congratulations!"

"Thanks, baby, I'll keep you updated."

I placed the phone back on the bedside table before getting up to change. This would be the perfect ice breaker for us to start talking again. I paused while brushing my teeth.

_I kissed my future step brother. Ewwwwwww!_

I shuddered before rinsing my mouth, promising myself that never again would another drop of alcohol touch my lips. By the time I came downstairs Seth had already left. I sighed as I made myself a cup of coffee.

_At least dinner won't be awkward. Well, as un-awkward as two soon-to-be-related people who made out in a club having dinner can be._

It was another day of running around like a maniac. I swore never to give birth to demon spawn, be a stage parent or wear low-cut tops near the director. I couldn't wait to get home. Uncomfortable silences were way more bearable than shrieking children and gossipy mothers. I dumped my bag on the table and took a deep breath as I saw Seth staring out the window, a mug in his hand.

"Seth, we need to talk."

He turned around, one hand thrust in his pocket, but didn't meet my eyes.

"About that night," I began. He looked up as I continued, "I wanna ask you..."

"Ok, one last time and never again, ok?"

"What the...?" My eyes widened as he suddenly kissed me without warning. I pushed him away and wiped at my mouth.

"What the hell?" I spluttered.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I thought you wanted..."

"I _wanted_ to tell you that I was sorry for using you like that and to let you know we were gonna be related!"

"Oh, thank god!" He fell back onto a chair and wiped his brow. "Charlie's gonna pop the question, isn't he? Great...two more people going all gooey on each other."

"What's going on with you?" I sat on the arm of his chair and held his shoulder for comfort and stability.

_Nothing ruins a heart-to-heart more than someone falling off a chair._

He took a deep breath and the words whooshed out, "I think…I think I may have imprinted today."

"Oh my god, really? Where? When? Who is she? It's a she, right? Not that I would mind if it's a he and I know that Sue will be supportive and Charlie...well, Charlie's just gonna have to...," I was practically flapping my arms in excitement.

_Ah, the Frantic Chicken, I have missed you._

"It's a she." He rolled his eyes at me. "She was doing research at the museum. Bella...she's just amazing. She's beautiful and funny and way smarter than me."

"Yes, yes but what's her _name,_ Seth?"

"Mia."

"Awww... I'm so happy for you! My little S all grown up and going all creepy-wolf-voodoo on unsuspecting girls."

"Don't get too excited just yet!" He laughed before looking nervous. "I wanna ask a favour."

"Anything!" I was just so glad that we were talking again. In hindsight I should have screamed in his face and jumped off the balcony.

"I kinda invited her over for a movie on Wednesday."

_Was that all?_

"Sure, I'll make myself scarce. I'll go watch a play and get some dinner and you can call me when you guys are done. Done watching the movie, that is... Unless you're planning to...oh god, just use protection and don't do it on my bed, ok? You're too young to be a dad! I'm too young to be an aunt!"

_Golly gee, I could ramble._

"No." He blushed. "I want you to be there...for moral support."

"I don't know, Seth..." I shrugged.

"Please? It's my first date ever and I already told her that my room-mate is joining us..."

He coughed but I knew it was a ploy.

"What was that?"

"I was hoping you'd call Jake so you wouldn't feel like a third wheel." I scowled, getting up and crossing my arms. "As friends, of course," he rushed through, avoiding my eyes.

"Seeeeth," I whined.

"He said he needed to talk to you anyway. Unless there's something going on that I don't know about?" He raised an eyebrow and I steered it back down with my finger.

"There's NOTHING going on." I got up and started pacing, every sentence punctuated by raised hands and hair pulling. "Jeez, will everyone just stop being so inquisitive?! We're just friends! There was a misunderstanding and now it's all sorted out! If everyone just focused on their OWN love lives without interfering in MY imaginary one, life would be so much better, now don't you think?"

"Thanks, Bells, you're the best!" Seth was halfway up the stairs, a cheeky grin plastered on his face.

"Wait, I didn't agree to anything!" I yelled before pouting.

"If you text him now, he'll be able to make plans."

_If I smash you over the head with that vase I wouldn't need to waste my credit._

I sighed in resignation. "What are we watching? What time is she coming over? Is she vegetarian? Should we take the sea of boobs down?"

"I'll help you cook, Bells," he yelled back. "She said she'll bring something over, six, she's a carnivore and we need sea of boobs for atmosphere."

"Teenagers," I muttered to myself before typing a message to Jake.

**Seth's got a girlfriend and wants us to chaperone movie night on Wednesday. We can talk then. You up for it, buddy?**

I briefly considered the merit of asking Jacob if he was "up" for anything, but sent the text anyway.

**Sure, what time?**

I sent him the details, asking him to drop in at around six so we could have an early dinner. He replied with an affirmative and I was surprisingly affected by the lack of affection in his texts.

_Yeah, cause him being sexy in person is just not enough. Shameless hussy. _

I found myself dreading Wednesday more and more.

_What was I gonna say? Do I bring up the kiss? Do I pretend it never happened? Do I stop muttering to myself on stage so people don't think I'm possessed?_

"You ok?" I almost jumped out of my skin. A giant tree was speaking to me.

_Giant talking trees shouldn't bother me. I run with wolves and look decidedly un-sparkly next to vampires. _

A pair of striking blue eyes in glasses peered from behind the stage prop. I collected myself enough to answer. "Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, I'm in your way." We did an awkward dance to get away from each other before finally coordinating.

"I'm Aiden, by the way." He wiped his hand on his ass before offering it to me. I focused on the hand rather than where it had been. "I'm new, and in charge of props," he shook the tree, "as you can tell."

_Dayum! He had teeth porn to rival Jacob's. _

After blinking away the spots in front of my eyes, I shook his hand. "Bella."

"Well, Bella, It was nice meeting you. I'll leave you to compose your epic soliloquy for 'Cinderella.' Made by the pumpkin, perhaps?"

_Oh, my god, what a dork. A cute dork, though._

I went back to mentally flailing over Wednesday.

_It will be a summit for awkward turtles._

* * *

By the time movie night rolled around, I was calmer.

_This night is about Seth and Mia, NOT my madcap non-romance._

Seth kept his word and helped with the cooking, but I chased him away to go pick up Mia after his nervous energy started rubbing off on me. I wondered why the pasta wasn't bubbling for fifteen minutes before realising I hadn't even turned on the stove.

_Wow, scared much, Bella?_

I wiped my hands on my jeans as I heard the door open an hour later. A very bashful Seth stood at the door with a beautiful girl whose long black hair ended in a blunt fringe over her dark eyes. "Hi, I'm Mia." She held out her hand. She was shorter than me, but had curves I would kill for.

"I'm Bella." I shook it. "Seth, don't keep her standing. Can I get you something to drink?"

"Yeah, I'll have anything non-alcoholic if you don't mind. This is such an amazing place!" She walked up to the glass, her hands stuck in her back pockets.

I nudged Seth and flashed him a thumbs up.

"Thanks!" He whispered, smiling and blushing some more.

"This place must cost a fortune!" Mia blurted, her own cheeks immediately reddening.

I grabbed the bottle of juice from the fridge.

"Oh, we don't pay rent. Bella has good connections."

"Thanks, Seth, must you insinuate that I'm a whore to everyone we meet?" I shut the fridge door with my foot.

"Oh, no, I didn't take it that way." Mia looked flustered.

_Poor kid doesn't get our insanity. Maybe I should have some wine._

"Is Jacob coming?"

_Why don't you ask Michelle?_

"He should be here by now." I checked the clock, which read 6.30. "He drives like a Cullen, so it'll take him an hour, maybe?" I laughed.

"Nah, he drives like a Black, half-hour tops." We giggled over our wit. Mia looked utterly bewildered. I disregarded my "no alcohol" promise and poured myself a glass of wine.

_I need it to keep from blabbing wolf secrets. Yeah, yeah, you're just a closet alcoholic._

I joined Mia at the table and we immediately started sharing histories. She was seventeen and wanted to be an art curator one day. She was also very poised and funny. Perfect for Seth.

There was a knock on the door and I stiffened before taking another sip of wine. I smiled at Mia, hoping she didn't catch my reaction.

"Let me get that, ladies." Seth got up to answer it.

"Well, look at that. I do believe he's finally learned some manners. You seem to be a good influence." Mia laughed and I thought I saw her blush.

_Awwww... young love._

"Hey, Jake, thanks for coming. Awww...you shouldn't have." I heard the thwack of something hitting his head but I didn't want to look around.

"Whoa," Mia exhaled. I pretended not to notice. "I hope I'm not being too forward but are you two together?"

"No... we've just known each other for a long time." I took another swig.

"He's...," she swallowed before whispering, "he's hot!"

_I could imagine him smirking at that comment._

"Is he?" I shrugged. "I've never noticed. You should have seen him when he was younger. He had these scrawny little arms and was kinda cross-eyed till he had surgery to fix it. Oh, hi, Jake!" I smiled up at him.

"Hi." He held out a bunch of flowers. Some of them looked a little bruised.

"Thank you, they're beautiful. Mia, this is my _friend_ Jacob. Jacob, this is Mia." I indicated between the two of them. Mia shyly shook his hand.

"Nice to meet you, Mia." His deep voice made the simple greeting sound sexy.

I mentally rolled my eyes as Mia's smile reached up to her ears.

_Wait till the imprinting really hits, babe. Jake will be a distant memory. _

"Why don't we start dinner? I'm sure you guys are starving!" I was intent on breaking up this giggle fest. We sat down to pasta and salad, the boys treating the latter like a pile of sick. We discussed movies and music.

"Seth, you're playing footsie with _me,_" Jake suddenly stated without looking up from his plate. Mia giggled and Seth looked like he wanted to fall through the floor.

"So, what are we watching tonight?" I broke the awkward silence.

"I picked 'Teen Wolf' but Seth keeps laughing about it for some reason." Mia sounded confused.

Jacob almost spit out his chicken.

_Oh, irony, you slay me._

"Don't mind them; they're just stupid, smelly boys." Mia and I shared a conspiratorial smile and as she looked back at her food, I scowled at Seth. Jacob was quiet for the rest of the meal. This both scared and comforted me.

We all settled down on the couch. Mia looked pleased to be sitting between Jacob and Seth.

_Hopefully she doesn't have a heat stroke._

We watched the movie in silence, apart from a few snorts and sounds of annoyance from the boys.

"Urgh, hate Pamela," Mia chimed in.

_Let's be friends forever._

"I know, right? Dumbass can't see what's right in front of him. Boof is so much cooler." I reached over to grab a handful of popcorn and my fist bumped against another. Jacob snatched his hand away.

_Geez, fine, it's not like I have cooties or anything._

As the credits rolled, Seth helped Mia up and looked at the two of us on either end of the couch.

"So, err...I'm gonna walk Mia home. Are you guys gonna be ok on your own?"

"Yes, dad, we'll be fine." I rolled my eyes.

"Thanks so much for having me over. Dinner was amazing." I noticed she was still holding his hand.

"No problem. Feel free to drop in anytime. It's nice to have someone else to help combat the testosterone."

"I'd really like that...bye, Jacob."

He smiled and gave a small wave. "You too, Mia." The door clicked shut and I grabbed the empty bottles off the table. I dumped them in the bin before sitting back on the couch, switching the TV off and throwing the remote onto the table. The clatter was deafening in the silence.

"So..."

"Sooooo..."

_Welcome to the first annual awkward turtles summit._

"About...," we both chorused.

I rushed ahead. "Ok, I'll go first. Cliff notes version. We were stupid, drunk and none of it really meant anything. I mean..."

He cut me off, "Yeah, and who you want to be with is your choice..."

"And nothing should come between our friendship..."

_See? We could be civilised and talk things through instead of being nymphomaniacs. This was nice._

He reached out for my hand and I grabbed his, brushing my thumbs over his knuckles. The hippos started the second act.

_Oh, crap._

"Nothing?" he said in a low voice as he pulled me onto his lap and I straddled him. His hands brushed over my waist.

_Still safe, still safe, still safe…_

"Nothing," I said firmly.

"But I can do this? As a friend?" He pulled my hair out of its ponytail and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. His hot fingers grazed the skin of my neck.

"Yeah," I whispered. "Jake, what are you doing?"

He pulled me closer till my knees were hitting the back of the couch.

"Trying to see what's right in front of me. Friends do this, right?" he breathed into my skin. I shivered.

_No, they don't, but please go on._

"No," I whispered. He kissed my neck between every word as I continued, his mouth finding the hickey he gave me earlier and running his tongue over it. "Platonic... relationships... STOP!" I gasped.

"Shit! Sorry!" He pulled at his hair while I scrambled off of him and practically ran to the kitchen.

"Wanna 'nother drink?" I opened the fridge and stuck my face inside to cool down.

_Again, not my best idea._

"Yeah." He caught the beer I threw at him and chugged it like he'd been camping out in the Sahara. I opened another and took a few tentative sips, staring at the little strip of exposed skin between his jeans and tee while he drank.

_You can do this. You _are_ doing this. Even if it kills you. That's what she said…FOCUS! _

I sat back on the couch, a heavy silence between us. I bit my fingers nervously and stared as his tongue ran over his bottom lip, his arm draped over the back of the couch.

"So." His dark eyes held my own as I put the beer back on the table.

"Soooo." I repeated. He nodded his head.

Without a word, we both scrambled for each other in the middle of the couch, kissing each other so hard we were breathless. I was practically on my hands and knees till he pulled me on top of him.

_Dammit, back at square one._

His hands scrunched up the fabric of my shirt, pulling me impossibly closer till I could feel every inch of him against me. I moaned as he licked my lower lip, eyebrows raised in question. Nodding at him, I closed my eyes and parted my lips, grabbing the hair at the nape of his neck as I finally tasted him. He slid his hands up my thighs to rest on my ass, groaning as I hesitantly slipped my tongue into his mouth. I dropped my hands down his chest to grab at the hem of his tee, desperate to feel his skin against mine. We separated briefly as I slipped it over his head, our lips crashing against each other again as I heard the gentle swish of his tee hitting the floor. I ran my nails over the ridges of his abs, smiling against his lips as he moaned.

His hands stilled at the top button of my shirt. I growled in protest.

_To hell with the consequences. We can discuss friendship later._

"Are you sure?" He whispered before sucking on my collarbone, his fingers tugging at my collar for better access. I hummed as he pushed the shirt off my shoulders, my back arching as he placed his hot palm on the small of my back. His thumb brushed over my bra, and I gasped as it came in contact with skin.

He slid his hands lower, cupping my ass and standing up from the couch. I wrapped my legs around him and exhaled sharply as he took a few steps and pushed me against the cool railing of the stairs. I laced my fingers through his hair and around the back of his neck, brushing my lips against his rigid jaw. I felt him smile before he pulled at the ends of my hair, jerking my head back to nibble on my earlobe. I shivered as his warm breath blew in my ear.

"Wanna go upstairs?"

* * *

**See? Told ya! In better news I _am _working on the next chapter right now. As always thank you to my betas stothep and fangbanger06 who are always so positive, funny and supportive about my writing, even though I look at it the same way Jake looks at a salad. **

**I LOVE my reviewers! You always ALWAYS make me smile with your love for this little piece of rambly fluff, like the kind that exists under washing machines. I would be such a sad panda if you ever stopped. Its like you're my own personal brand of .... muffin mix.**

**Till chapter 11...Muah!**


	11. You can't see with the sun in your eyes

**I own nothing, not even a New Moon DVD. Boooooo! **

**Songs you ask? :) Innocent - Stereophonics and Poke - Frightened Rabbit. (switch over at the break)**

**Without further ado...Chapter 11. **

* * *

"Wanna go upstairs?"

"Yes," I muttered between kisses. I closed my eyes as he carried me up the stairs, praying he wouldn't trip and I wouldn't smash my head against the stairway.

_Sure-fire passion killer._

He didn't miss a step and I gave into rapidly deepening kisses. I felt a door against my back and his hand left my thigh to open it. He pushed us inside and I briefly opened my eyes.

"Wrong room," I mumbled, my arms wrapping tighter around his neck.

"I know." He grinned wickedly.

"Jake!" I smacked him on the shoulder.

"Just kidding." He kissed my jaw. "Would teach that little shit a lesson," he murmured.

"Jacob, do we have to talk about Seth _now_?"

"No," he growled and pressed me against the wall between the two rooms. His hand ran through my hair and his eyes flickered to the left before staring deep into mine.

"Way to set the atmosphere, Bells."

_Shit! I knew I should have taken that down._

He saw the look of horror on my face and ran his finger from my neck down between my boobs to rest on my belly button. His tongue slid over my upper lip.

"I've seen better," he looked pointedly at my chest.

_LIAR!_

"Mmmhmmm," I murmured.

He opened the door, kicking it shut with his foot once we were inside. The room was dark and I wanted to keep it that way.

_No need to see my shame._

He laid me down on the bed and knelt between my legs, his thumbs caressing the skin above my jeans. I fisted the sheets to keep from swearing. I wanted him on me, touching me.

_Inside me._

I knew he wasn't going to give me what I wanted just yet. I arched toward him as he ran the back of his hand up my stomach before undoing the front of my bra with an expert flick. Either he had been scoring on a regular basis or had practiced that move a _lot_. I suddenly felt sick. I didn't want to be a pity fuck and I was pretty sure he was lying his muscled ass off when he said my boobs were better.

_I have eyes, Jacob Black, and I had to throw them a preserver in Michelle's cleavage._

I pushed myself off the bed, muttering, but he pushed me back down, one hand pinning my wrists above my head and the other skimming over my nipples, causing me to arch against him again.

"Do you want me to stop, Bells?" His whisper was harsh and urgent. He knew I couldn't resist him.

_Cocky bastard._

"Just say stop, Bella." He popped the button on my jeans, his hand releasing my wrists so he could pull them off my legs. I helped by kicking them off before grabbing him by the hair, forcing him to come back near my lips.

"Don't...stop...Jake."

_Shameless hussy._

He smirked before kissing me again, his fingers slipping under the waistband of my boy shorts. I almost squealed as he flipped me on my side, pulling me back against him and pushing my hair up so he could kiss and bite my neck. I moaned every time his lips touched my skin. His hand slipped under my chin, tilting my head back to kiss me while his other hand skimmed over my ass. With a low rumble, he slipped off my boy shorts. His hand moved up my thigh, spreading my legs before biting my ear.

"You sure?"

"For fuck's sake, Jacob, do you hear me screaming 'assault'?" I gasped out as he touched me, teasing me with the tip of his finger.

"No, but I hope you'll be screaming..." He smiled against my ear before slipping two fingers inside me.

I threw my head back and grabbed the sheets to the point of tearing them. "JAKE!"

"Exactly," he murmured as his thumb brushed my jaw line.

He covered my face, neck and shoulder in kisses as he made me come around his fingers. I bucked against him, a combination of swears, invocations and his name issuing from my lips as he curled his fingers inside me. His other hand never left my jaw, keeping my neck exposed for him to add sweet pain to pleasure. Humming with satisfaction, he drew his hand from between my legs and sucked on his fingers, his eyes never leaving mine.

_Fuck, he was sexy._

I kissed him, tasting myself on his tongue. I pulled at his denims but he stopped my hands and smiled wickedly. He tugged my legs till I was lying on my back again and kissed down my body, flicking my nipples with his tongue as I ran my fingers through his hair. His hands parted my thighs and I think I stopped breathing as he started kissing his way up from my knee, his fingers rubbing soothing circles on my hip. I hissed as he bit down on the sensitive skin of my inner thigh, moaning as he flicked his tongue over the sore spot.

He ran his tongue all the way up my leg until he'd reached the juncture of my thighs. Eyes closed, he lingered there briefly, licking me once, slowly, before standing and shrugging out of his jeans. I closed my eyes until he placed his palm on the side of my neck, his fingers gently caressing my hair.

"Open your eyes, Bells" he ordered. His hand was firm on my hip now and I could feel him against my thigh. I moaned in protest till he bit my nipple, making my eyes fly open in surprise. He kissed me hard and I moaned into his mouth as I felt him push inside me.

"Oh, fuck!" I closed my eyes again, wrapping my legs around his waist, pushing him deeper inside me.

"Open your eyes, Bella," he ordered again, "I want you to watch me while you come."

Our breathing was ragged and harsh. I whimpered as he stopped kissing my neck. His thrusts got harder and I moaned as he pulled my hair, licking the hollow of my throat.

"Oh, fuck," he swore against my skin and a few seconds later I repeated him as pleasure shot through my entire being. I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. My nails scraped against his back as I felt his release. He kissed me hard, murmuring things I couldn't understand against my lips. I felt him brush the hair back from my forehead and suddenly he was gone. I scrambled for my clothes, finding my boy shorts on the floor next to a shirt I'd left earlier. As I was slipping it over my head I was body slammed back onto the bed.

"What the fuck, Jake?" I scrambled to pull the shirt the rest of the way down.

He grinned before pulling me against him. "Seth's home."

"What? Oh shit!" I tried to scramble away from him but he pinned me down.

"Our clothes...couch...he'll know." I struggled against him.

"Bells, he was home ten minutes ago." I went limp in his arms. He was back in his jeans but still shirtless.

"Shit," I said quietly. He laughed softly. I could tell he was tired; nightly patrols and long drives weren't doing him any good.

_Neither is sex with best friends._

"Can I ask you a question?"

_You already did, dumbass._

"Mmmmm." His hands were gently rubbing my back.

"Why did you bite me there?"

He hitched my leg around his waist, his thumb brushing over the spot.

"Cause it's our little secret," he sighed in my ear. I was quiet for a few minutes, wondering if this was the biggest mistake of my life. I put my hand cautiously on his neck, stroking his collarbone and gently brushing over his Adam's apple. His breathing slowed as I moved my hand up, cupping his cheek and staring at the long dark eyelashes that brushed against his skin. I thought of my own stumpy ones and wondered if he would ever agree to let me experiment on them.

"Jake?" He replied with a low hum.

"Are your eyelashes real?" I heard a deep rumble in his chest. He was laughing at me.

_Yeah, I'd laugh at me, too. Stupid questions._

"No, Bells," he muttered, eyes still closed. "Rachel lent me her fake ones." He pulled me closer and I revelled in the feeling of his arms wrapped around me. It was just like old times. Jacob and Bella, hanging out, except everything was going to change and I didn't deal well with change.

_We'll deal with it tomorrow...oh, here comes some word vomit._

"Do you love me?" I whispered against his shoulder and instantly regretted it. Thankfully, there was no reply and I fell asleep to the sound of him breathing against my ear.

* * *

I woke up the next morning with a raging headache.

_God, I had the most amazing dream._

I smiled as I remembered the part where he said it was our little secret.

_He bit me right...ouch...oh, fuck._

It all came rushing back and I felt like my head was going to explode.

"Nononononononononono," I muttered, slipping on some shorts before rushing out of the room. I slowed down on the staircase.

"_When about to mate, they tend to bond, sleeping close to each other and being very affectionate..."_

"What the hell?" I mouthed to no one in particular before bending over to see what was going on downstairs.

"_They continue to be affectionate after mating…"_

Seth was watching a nature documentary on the Discovery Channel and Jacob was in the kitchen making breakfast. Both their heads were cocked to the side as they watched a male wolf mount a female.

"Ewwww, is that what you guys were doi..." Seth turned around with a smirk before seeing me. He almost broke the remote trying to switch it off, but since his eyes were on my shocked face, he kept pressing the wrong button, instead making it louder. The narrator was practically screaming now.

"_A PHYSICAL TIE OCCURS DURING MATING..." _and with that, the screen faded to black. Seth let out a huge sigh of relief. Jacob looked amused.

"Morning. I made eggs."

_Why does he have to sound so sexy?_

"Yeah, thanks." I tried to smooth down my manic hair. "Seth, can I talk to you for a little bit?" I dragged him upstairs by his shirt before he could answer and locked us in the bathroom.

"We really don't have to discuss anything." He sat on the edge of the bathtub, his palms up. "What you want to do is your business. I just don't want you to get hurt."

I sat next to him and covered my face with my hands. "What did you see?"

"It wasn't a matter of seeing, per se." He scratched the back of his head and avoided my eyes. "More like what I heard."

I groaned.

"If it makes you feel any better, it sounded like you were having a lot of fun."

I lifted my head, hoping my stare would make his head blow up.

"Sorry." He shrugged.

_I would have preferred the head explosion._

"You can make it up to me by answering a question."

"Sure. Fire away."

"Has Jacob imprinted?" He stiffened under my gaze.

"I don't know."

"Don't lie to me, Seth. Has he imprinted on anyone?" I shook his shoulders.

"No, no, NO!!! You'd know if he had. You'd be the bridesmaid at the wedding and everything."

I don't know why my heart hurt at that. I didn't want to be Leah, no matter how smiley she'd been through the whole process. I couldn't imagine putting on a dress, no matter how beautiful or designer it was, and watching as my best friend got married to someone else. It was easier to feel nothing at all.

_Plus, no hideously tight bridesmaid's dress. Not that I'd be chosen, of course. Jacob's bride could be anybody. I'm sure she'll have sisters or friends. Unless Jake forces her to...I mean, I can rock a tux or something...FOCUS!_

"Ok." I unlocked the door and we both made our way downstairs. Jake was already serving breakfast. I watched him stretch over the table to put the plates out.

_I can't believe I'm gonna do this to a guy with an ass like that. No – scratch that – I can't believe I'm gonna do this to a guy who makes me moan like a chick from a porno._

"Jake, we need to talk."

"Sure, can we eat first? I'm starving."

Seth had already pulled out his chair and was giving me his best puppy eyes.

"Sure, sure."

_Stop doing that, you idiot!_

Jake pushed my chair out with his foot, smiling down at his plate. I sat and ruefully took a bite.

_Dammit! He cooks well, too? Stop! As soon as he imprints, there'll be no eggs! The eggs belong to some other hussy! Not you!_

"Stupidwretcheatingmyeggs," I mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing." I stabbed at my plate. We ate in silence.

"Wow, awkward, much?" Seth leaned back against the chair, his hands linked behind his head.

"Shut up, Seth!" Jake and I chorused. I tried to suppress a smile as Seth pushed his chair back.

"Well, as much as I'd love to hang around and bask in this love fest, this whole place smells like sex and I need to go see Mia."

I felt my cheeks burn and I didn't want to look up. I mumbled a quick bye and stood to clear the plates. Jacob's hand clamped over my wrist. I shivered slightly when I remembered the last time he held my wrists.

_Stop, stop, stop...you're only making it harder for yourself._

"Let me."

I picked up the empty glasses and dumped them in the sink, pushing my hair back and bracing myself against the counter when I heard the plates clatter next to them. Jake's hands grabbed my shoulders and slid down my arms, his large fingers entwining with mine where gripped the edge of the counter. He rested his lips on my shoulder.

"We need to talk." I turned around, trapped by his arms.

"We do." He leaned in closer, his lips behind my ear. "Bells, I think I..."

"Wait," I pushed him away. "Let me go first..."

He settled back onto a barstool and crossed his arms. I mirrored his posture, crossing my legs for added effect.

_I am firm in my purpose. You're not getting in there, buddy._

"Jake, what happened last night...I'm not saying that it was a mistake, cause it felt so..."

_Good? Right? Perfect? _

"...I think we just needed to get it out of our systems, so we can go back to being really good friends. Just friends." I added firmly.

_Wow, cliché, much?_

I saw him slump against the back of the counter, his face expressing a myriad of emotions before settling on what looked like resignation.

_You'll thank me for this when you're prancing about with the future mother of your cubs._

"Best friends?" I held out a fist and he bumped it gently with his own. His lips were set in a grim line.

"Whatever you need, Bells."

**Jacob**

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, she just wolf voodoo-ed my ass into the friend zone. _

* * *

**Ooodles of love to my Ninja Mafia who inspire me to write just to see their awesome reactions. If I could add their comments into the story, I'd do it in a heartbeat (Btw, that was my first attempt at writing a lemon so if it sucks...*snort* sucks...lemon...geddit? Ok then...) Onto the bad news, I know this was a short chapter but I'm flying back home to Sri Lanka in a few days and I didnt want to leave you guys hanging. Its also gonna take a little longer than usual for me to update. I hope you guys wont be too mad. I promise as soon as I'm settled back home the chapters will come (Thats what she said) **

**Till then, thanks for reading and reviewing. I love all of you so much! :) **


	12. Turn my troubles to gold

**I'm baaaack! :)**

**Learn to lose- Hockey and Crazy yes dumb no - The Mint Chicks**

* * *

Jacob

_I hate dance class. No – correction – I hate dance class run by Count Chocula._

We were all at a local dance hall on a Saturday morning. In dress shoes.

_Dress shoes and vampires. My own personal hell. _

I looked around for Bella, throwing what I hoped was a casual "where is she?" look at Seth. He shrugged. I wondered why I picked him of all people to watch out for Bella. Embry was way more clued-in. Hell, even a squirrel with a concussion would have been a better option than that gangly kid. He was being all gooey with Mia. Those two were inseparable now. She had even decided to drive down with them to Forks to go through this torture.

_If that ain't love, I don't know what is._

Edward cleared his throat to get our attention. "Good morning."

_Maybe for you._

He continued with a smirk, "Since the couple has not decided on what kind of dance they want to do, I thought we'd go through a few till we find something that fits. Tanya couldn't come today...stop being immature, Jacob...so I've asked a good friend – Peyton – to fill in. We will start with the waltz."

Leah walked up to me sulkily. "No funny business, Black."

I held her hand, trying to remember the times my mum would twirl me around the living room when I was little. Leah growled as I tried to steer her across the dance floor.

"What?"

"Don't push me," she whined.

"It's dancing, Leah; I have to push you. And don't start spouting your feminist crap at me."

Edward tapped my shoulder. I rolled my eyes.

"Can I cut in?"

"Please," I held my palm out at Leah. Anything to get her off my back.

"Actually, Jacob, I think Leah should dance with Seth and you can dance with Bella when she gets here."

_I'm gonna dance with Bella? Keep it together, keep it together, keep it together..._

He held his hand out to me.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." I eyed his hand with disgust.

_Girly hands..._

"Jacob, if you wish to lead, you must first learn to follow." I rolled my eyes and was about to stalk off when Emily caught my eye. She mouthed a 'please' and gave me her best puppy eyes.

_Jeez, what is up with that look? They better name their first child after me for all the ridiculous crap I go through._

I took his hand, cringing at the iciness as his palm rested on my lower back.

"Ok, Yoda, but you better not touch my ass." We started swaying to the music.

_Kill me. Kill me now._

I heard Leah whistle as Seth awkwardly tried to steer her to the beat. "Don't give it up on the first date, you two!"

_Oh, he definitely won't._

"Why do you have to be so juvenile, Jacob?" he said with disgust.

"Why do you have to smell like a girl, Edward?" I mimicked him.

We danced in silence. I was starting to get the hang of it. Well, the girl side of things anyway. I analysed his every move, counting out the steps in my head. On cue, he sighed.

"I have to ask you a question."

"Oh, god, can't you just read my mind and get it over with?"

"It's 'Edward' and no, I want to hear you say it."

If I rolled my eyes anymore, they'd be stuck in the back of my head.

"Why haven't you told Bella yet?"

"Cause I'm a masochistic lion..." He frowned and my shoulders slumped in defeat. "...Fine, if I tell you, will you stop asking about anything else?"

"Yes." I didn't believe him.

"I can't believe I'm talking to you about my love life while doing the bloody fox step..." I gritted my teeth.

"Box step," he gently corrected.

_I know a box I'd put you into..._

"We should put you two in a porno!" Leah hooted, cutting into my mental threats.

"Shut up, Leah. Or I'll show Edward that time when you phased back in front of me!" I yelled over Edward's shoulder. She had the decency to look ashamed. Seth looked like he was about to throw up.

"It was an accident!" she yelled back, avoiding the stares from the others.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Flasher McGee," I chuckled. Edward cleared his throat. I exhaled sharply and stopped myself from asking if he wanted a cough drop.

_This was serious shit. Far more serious than dancing with a man called for._

"I don't want to tell her cause I don't want her to fall in love with me just cause the fates ordained it or some bullshit."

"But it is fate."

_No shit, Sherlock._

"Yeah, the thing is, I'm not gonna dazzle her into loving me, sparkle boy. I want her to love me out of her own free will and I'm willing to give her all the time she needs to figure it out by herself." It felt strangely good to say it out loud. It sounded less crazy somehow, like I wasn't a total dick for sleeping with her and keeping my distance.

"But she must be feeling something..." he stopped suddenly when he heard my thoughts "...you slept with her? Way to go at not...ohhhhh….. friend zone."

_Great, make me relive the shame, why don't ya?_

"If you were gonna read my mind, why the fuck did you ask?" I loosened my grip on his shoulder.

_And when the fuck was this song gonna end?_

"Language, Jacob," he muttered.

"Fuck language," I spat back. He sighed. He seemed to do that a lot when I was around. Like I was some sort of child who disappointed him on a regular basis.

"You think she feels something?" He sounded worried. _So he did care_.

"Em said that since I'm fighting it, maybe Bella doesn't feel it as intensely as she did."

"But she wants to be friends." He sounded thoughtful and a little confused.

_Join the line, buddy._

"Yeah, whatever she needs."

_Please let her need me...like she did that night._

"Whoa!" I was suddenly looking up at the ceiling. The music had stopped and Edward's face hovered over mine. The bastard had dipped me like I was some chick. I scrambled to get upright and wiped my hands on my jeans. "Jeez, what the fuck was that?"

Edward bowed while the others clapped. "That, Jacob, is what your pack brothers would call being my bitch."

I thought of a few choice curse words in my head.

_I was gonna be polite. There were ladies present, one right in front of me, in fact._

He ignored my taunts and turned to the other couples.

"Ok, that wasn't too bad. For those of you who had a difficult time, don't worry. Your natural...abilities..."

_Way to go with the subtlety, Cullen. The Peyton chick must be thick as a board to not get that one. _

"...your natural abilities will help you master them soon enough. Let your bodies take over. Don't over-think it."

_Yeah, last time I let my body take over...stop...Edward doesn't need to see the way she arched her back and screamed my...STOP! Dammit! _

I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers to my forehead, willing the images to go away. Then I heard her voice.

"Hey, sorry I'm late...alarm didn't go off."

She was wearing a denim skirt and heels.

_Fuck, look at those legs. _

My mind unwittingly flashed to an image of us alone in the hall. Her hands were gripping the ballet bar as I watched her come over and over in the mirrored wall. Her skirt bunched up around her waist and her husky voice echoed in the empty room.

_Oh fuck... Jake..._

"_Jake?"_

_**Bella**_

_I hate being late. _

_It wasn't really my fault. I forgot to put the alarm on before I went to bed last night. Not that I'm complaining, cause an alarm going off in the middle of a sex dream would have really killed my buzz. _

_You are shameless Bella Swan...shameless! _

It was a good dream, though. I had been having a lot of them since that night.

_Damn you, Jacob Black!_

The latest offering had been quite vivid and involved the two of us in the back of his car. Needless to say, a good time was had by all. So good that I had to rush in to have a cold shower to stop myself from racing down to La Push to make the dream a reality.

_This friend thing was becoming a pain in the ass. Why couldn't he stay nerdy and under-developed? Why did he have to fill out and...oh, my god, his ass looks good in those jeans...Why didn't I keep my hands to myself that night?_

Edward looked mortified for some reason and for a split second wondered if he could see my thoughts, which were far from pure at the moment. He wasn't looking at me, though. He was staring, pretty much slack-jawed, at Jacob, who was in turn staring at me. I knew I was in skimpier attire than usual, but it was the only serviceable skirt I could find and I was ordered to wear heels for the full wedding torture experience.

_Now with blisters AND future spine problems._

"Jake?" I touched his arm and he shuddered.

"Hey," he murmured, smiling nervously. "I've mi-"

"Bella, so glad you could join us! Will you do me the honour?" Edward bowed, extending his hand for me to take. I caught Jacob's eye, silently torturing myself in the hope that he would ask me to dance, but there was no reply. I placed my hand in Edward's cold one and a cha-cha beat struck up. I smiled at Edward nervously and mumbled an apology for the toe smashing that was about to commence. He smiled back as I glanced at the other couples out of the corner of my eye. Seth and Leah moved flawlessly while Jacob danced with some brunette I had seen around town. I focused on Edward's collarbone till he stooped slightly to get my attention.

"We need to talk."

_Doesn't everybody? _

"Sure! I hear the timber industry is really on the way up."

"Bella." He wasn't pleased. I bit my lower lip and shut my eyes momentarily.

"So, you saw, huh?"

"Saw what?"

_What the hell?_

"You didn't see anything in Jacob's head?" I ventured tentatively.

_Now I was just asking for it. It's not like Jacob would think about it as obsessively as I do. I'm sure he's gone on to screw many other girls who were far more memorable and experienced than me. _

"Nothing except his intense hate for anything other than hip hop or whatever those kids are listening to these days." He smirked.

_He was baiting me._

"You sound like a grandpa." I punched him softly on the shoulder.

"I qualify for one." He grinned before twirling me.

"Sure, sure." I grinned back, staring absently at our entwined hands, so different from when I had held Jacob's. From when we had lain in bed, a mass of tangled limbs – one dark, one light. His so much more beautiful than mine.

"New habit?" He broke through my thoughts.

"Huh?"

"Nothing...so you and Jacob have been hanging out?"

This was starting to feel like the Spanish Inquisition.

"Yeah, kinda...so you're sure you didn't see anything?"

_Why was I torturing myself? P.S. he can hear you, you lust-lorn loser._

"Why? Should I have seen something? Is there something you'd like to tell me?" A smile played at his lips.

"So you do know."

"Know what?"

"Don't play mind games with me, Edward Cullen," I said with mock severity.

"I might suggest you do the same," he replied cryptically but I got the general gist of the argument. Jacob could do my heart some serious damage.

"We're just friends," I assured him.

"By the way, Seth wants to bring Mia as his date for the wedding but he's too scared to tell you because he thinks it will hurt your feelings."

"Of course it won't! Silly kid." I looked over at Mia, who waved at me shyly. I waved over Edward's shoulder and smiled.

_They really were adorable._

"Perhaps you could find a date of your own? A _friend_ maybe?" He stepped outwards and I copied him, trying to look as graceful as he did. I followed his gaze to Jacob and the brunette.

_That would be an epic band name. Jacob and the Brunettes...and the Blonde...Ok, maybe not so epic._

She was laughing as he effortlessly moved her across the dance floor. Their lower halves were pressed together in a way that would make mothers cover their children's eyes for shame.

"Its natural athleticism." Edward sounded proud.

_Natural athleticism, my ass. He could knock her up with those moves._

Her foot popped up as his hands went down to her hips, dipping her quickly before pulling her back up against his chest.

_Congratulations! It's a boy!_

He twirled her a few times and she did some complicated thing with her feet that would qualify her for a tour with an Irish dance team and rolled herself back into his arms. She had a post-coital grin on her face as they walked back to the chairs. Edward, ever the gentleman, thanked me for the dance and called for a ten minute break. I stayed close to Mia, asking her how she liked Forks while only occasionally staring at the back of Jake's head.

_As long as you don't go down to his ass..._

He caught my eye and I looked away.

_Jeez, this was getting immature._

"I think we'll try the salsa and end for today. Emily and Sam can decide what they want for the first dance and also for the wedding party."

Peyton made her way towards Jake before Edward stopped her. He indicated to me as Latin music began to play.

_Great, faster toe smashing._

Jacob grabbed my hand and pulled me close, his eyes on Edward as he mirrored his moves exactly, though a little less gracefully. After a few seconds he seemed to get the hang of it and smirked at me.

'Burning up the dance floor, huh?" I nodded at Peyton.

"You could say that..." His hand slipped lower on my back, a finger gazing my skin. I willed myself not to shiver. I needed to cut the tension.

"Soooooo… about that night."

_CUT the tension, you idiot._

"We said we wouldn't talk about it, remember?" His voice was low as I felt his fingers flex against mine, his hot palm reminding me of things I'd much rather not think about while pressed against his crotch.

"Oh, yeah," I mumbled, like a moron.

"Does that mean we should stop thinking about it?" I felt him harden against me as he murmured in my ear. He placed my hand on the nape of his neck as I raised an eyebrow at him. I gasped as he ran his hand down my body and wrapped my leg around his thigh, dipping me slightly. "Now this seems familiar."

"Jake..." The tips of his fingers were grazing my inner thigh, as was the rough fabric of his jeans. He smelled so good.

_FOCUS! _

"I meant, I was just taught this move. It's all coming back to me."

"JAKE!" I looked around to see all the other couples were doing the same action. Well, everyone except Seth and Leah, who looked positively disgusted at each other. He smirked at me.

"You know, Bells, for a girl who doesn't want to talk about it, you've got such a one-track mind."

"I've been hanging out with perves for too long," I pouted, trying desperately to regain some dignity as he dropped my leg and his dark gaze locked onto mine.

"I think its cause you got exactly what you wanted and now you can't stop thinking about it."

His hand hovered dangerously above my ass. As we continued, I tried to think of the most un-sexy things possible while dancing, a.k.a. faux-molesting, Jacob.

_Sunshine...sunshine is hot...hot like Jacob. Dammit! Accounting....accounting is un-sexy...unless it's Jacob in a skinny tie...wanting to do my accounts...do my accounts over and over...Dammit! Rainbows...rainbows are cute! There's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. This is going well. Also leprechauns...they wear green...green like the forest...trees...up against a tree...Jacob in jorts up against a tree. DAMMIT! FUCK! SHIT! DAMMIT!!!!!_

"You look pissed. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just frustrated."

"You know, Bells, I'm here for you." He pressed his cheek to mine and whispered "Anything you want..."

_Oh fuck...did he just offer…?_

He moved his hand up to cradle the back of my head then bent me backwards. "Anything."

His breath in my ear sent shivers down my spine.

"Stealing my moves, Jacob?"

He straightened us back up and glared at Edward.

"Bite me, Cullen." I felt his hand grip almost painfully at my waist.

"Is that an invitation?" It looked like Edward was reading Jacob's mind. "That could be arranged."

He smirked as he walked away. Jacob loosened his hold and I gave him a quick hug.

"Thanks for the dance."

I felt him run his hand through my hair before letting go. I had a lot of things to figure out but I needed to talk to Seth first. I caught up with him at the door and pulled him over to the ballet bars.

"You can bring Mia, Seth. I don't mind."

"Edward told you, huh?" He still looked guilty.

"You've imprinted, Seth. I was gonna tell you anyway."

He looked relieved, giving me a bone-crunching hug. He let go only when I started flailing.

"Are you gonna be ok?" His relief was quickly replaced with worry. I patted his hand reassuringly.

"It's a wedding, Seth, not senior prom. Maybe I'll ask Embry..." I looked back to see Jacob stop mid-wrestle with Leah, ".... or maybe I'll just go alone. I'm sure Em has some cute relatives I could hit on."

"Well, whoever it is, you better decide fast. The wedding's just a month away."

"Don't worry. I'm sure something...or someone will come up." I held Jacob's gaze for a second longer before walking out.

_Please let something come up._

* * *

**Did that answer the Jacob questions? I dont really want to answer major plot-related questions so please dont be mad. I believe in a gradual exposition and being fair to all my readers. The same readers who by the way make me smilier than Mr. Happy on chocolate.**

**Much love to my Ninja Mafia who rock my socks off. *wriggles bare toes***

**So from the sunny climes of Sri Lanka...till chapter 13....Muah! **


	13. The one where we all live happily?

**Aaaaaaand chapter 13. Imma answer ALL your questions at the bottom...teehee I said bottom (I say worse in this chapter so hold on)**

**Delicate - Damien Rice and Coin Laundry - Lisa Mitchell**

**I own nothing except a pervy brain, my betas whom I love with the force of an April monsoon, and my imagination where...never mind. Read on...**

_

* * *

_

He said anything. Anything... good Lord, have I been talking in my sleep? Did that little puppy rat me out? Anything... ANYTHING!!! Damn him for being so vague... anything...

"Anything usually means anything, Bella," Seth cut in. We were dancing aimlessly on the beach. Well, Seth was dancing with more purpose, dragging me along in the process. Emily had decided we needed more practice after the morning session. Leah was sitting gleefully on the sand since Jacob had left to drop Billy off at my place. A boom box played "Heavenly Day" in a corner.

"Huh?"

"You've been mumbling that word all night." He smiled, twirling me. I laughed nervously. This wasn't a conversation I wanted to be having at this moment.

"I'm sure he means that he's willing to give you anything you want..." My head snapped up. He released me and held up his hands in a gesture of innocence, "...in a strictly friendly way, I mean."

"Dammit, Seth! Anyone ever taught you not to eavesdrop on other people's conversations?" I hissed.

_Stupid wolf boys._

He flicked at his ear and rolled his eyes.

"It's my job to look after you, Bella. We're pretty much family now."

"You're gonna fight your Alpha to keep me safe?"

_Cause I'd sell tickets for that shit._

He shrugged. "If that's what it takes."

"Brave words from chicken shit. 'Oh Jake, please don't hurt me. I'm widdle!' " I said in a high-pitched voice. I heard Leah cackle from where she sat.

His lips curled up in a wicked smile.

_Uh-oh._

"Better than 'Jake, oh, Jake... do me… do me now!' " Leah was rolling about in the sand now. I punched Seth on the shoulder and started walking towards the cliffs.

"That's just sick, Seth! And I never said that! You're just a perve… a sick, nasty, voyeuristic perve!" I yelled back at him.

"Seth!" I heard Sam and Emily yell at him in unison.

"Bella, where are you going? It's not my fault! Jake… thinks... time." The wind cut through his words. I kept walking, muttering curses as my feet dug into the sand. I needed time to think, away from everyone and their sonic hearing ears.

I made my way up to the edge of the cliff. The same one I had jumped off many years ago. I tripped a few times on the way but that was expected. Sitting on the edge, I dangled my feet off the precipice. I could see the fire and silhouettes in the distance. Seth looked like he was getting a royal telling-off from Emily.

_I'm not sorry. Big dumb Alpha can't keep his thoughts to himself. I hope Sam fursplodes on his ass. _

"I knew you'd be here." I didn't even hear him come up behind me.

"Yeah, well, congratulations! Want your grand prize?" My voice dripped with sarcasm. I heard him sigh before he sat behind me, his long legs pressed against mine. I felt my hair being pushed aside, his fingers kneading at my neck.

"Jeez, you're tense." He kissed the base of my neck, his other hand wrapping around my waist. I gave into the sensation, humming as I dropped my head back against his shoulder.

_That feels so good._

My eyes popped open and I immediately snapped my head back up.

"What are we doing, Jake?" I covered my face with my hands.

_Damn him and his sex god ways._

"I think the Oxford dictionary calls this...friendship."

I twisted my head around. He was being serious.

"Being friends, my ass. Why are we doing this?"

"Cause we were made to torture each other." He smirked.

"No... I was made to torture myself and you were made to imprint on some random chick you've never met."

"About imprinting..." His other hand fell down to my upper thigh.

"You know what, Jake? I don't want to hear about you imprinting.... ever again!" I spat out. We sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the waves hit the rocks below. In the light of the full moon, my hands shone silvery against his.

"Why are you so jealous?"

"I'm not. I just... I just don't want to lose you." I pulled at a stray piece of thread on my top. His other hand wrapped around me and I wanted to sigh in contentment.

"You'll never lose me," he murmured. I laughed like a maniac.

"Yeah, I'm sure your future wife would love that. 'Hey, where you going, honey?' 'Oh, just to hang out with my best friend, who I may or may not have slept with. Are we gonna have apple pie tonight?' It'll all be so... peachy."

We went back to silently stewing. I focused on his slow breathing, feeling his chest rise and fall against my back as his fingers made little circles on the top of my hand.

"So, what do you want to do?" His voice was low.

_I wanna rip your clothes off. I wanna have hot, dirty sex with you forever and ever and ever. I want you all to myself. I want you to fall in love... _

"I can't believe I'm gonna say this. I think we should be friends."

"Tell me something I don't know, Bells." He rolled his eyes.

"Friends… with benefits," I muttered.

"Err… what?" He sounded flabbergasted. As if I said I was half a tuna or something.

"I mean, it's the best way. We have amazing chemistry and..." I flapped my hands.

"I rock your world."

"Yeah, and that. And..."

"It's the best sex you've ever had..." He pursed his lips to keep from laughing.

_You don't need to know that..._

"Will you stop stroking your ego for just one second?" I yelled. His smile was almost reaching his ears.

"Would you like me to stroke something else?" His fingers twitched against the hem of my skirt.

"Jake…" I groaned.

"Bells…" he groaned back, mocking me.

"You know what? Forget I ever said anything. This conversation didn't happen. You know what? I'm not even sure this is real. I must have hit my head really hard on the way up here. It's the moon, I tell you, making me go cuckoo. This could be me sleep-" He grabbed my cheek, pulled me against him and kissed me. I felt his fingers on my hip, holding me close, no doubt making sure I wouldn't fall off the cliff.

_Shit, he could make awkward angles sexy._

I put my hand on his jaw, exhaling sharply as he nipped at my lower lip.

"I said anything, Bells..." he murmured against my lips before walking away. I took a step back and almost lost my footing. He was the only thing keeping me safe and anchored.

_I couldn't let him leave. I needed him and if this was the only way I could have him in my life then..._

"JAKE!"

He turned around and I ran, launching myself at him with such force that an ordinary guy would have fallen over. He hoisted me up by my thighs as I covered his face with kisses.

"Anything?" I whispered, holding his face between my hands. His eyes burned.

"Anything..." he whispered back, covering my mouth with his.

It felt like only a few minutes and we were back at his house. He had me naked five seconds after we reached his room. I think he tore my shirt but I didn't care. I tugged at his clothes, pushing him against the door, wanting to feel his skin against mine. He flashed me a "patience, Bells" smile before pulling his shirt off. I skimmed my fingers over his chest, hoping that tonight I'd get to run my tongue down the sexy Vs along his hips. He pushed me down on the bed and I giggled, realising he was making me giddier than usual. I pushed myself up on my elbows and watched as he knelt on the bed, biting his lower lip while running his hands over my legs.

"Fuck, you have sexy legs."

I blushed in the darkness and squirmed under his touch. He grabbed me by the ankles and pulled me close, covering my entire body with his lips, tongue and hands. I thought I heard him mumble something about heels but he was kissing down my leg and I didn't care. He took my foot, placing kisses on my ankle before pushing it down till it was tucked up against my body. Before I could even question why, he pushed inside me, making me gasp with pleasure. I wanted him to go faster but he kept a slow, steady pace. He was killing me. I snaked my hand down, desperate for release.

"Jake I..." I pleaded as he pushed my hand away, pinning it down on the bed.

"Not yet..." he growled.

"But..."

"Trust me, Bells..." He sped up his thrusts as he cupped my ass. "I want you to come with me."

"Oh, God… Jake..." I groaned as his fingers rubbed at my clit, getting me closer to the edge with each thrust. He grabbed my ankle again, pulling it over his shoulder, slamming into me faster and faster. His gaze locked onto mine and I watched him watch me as I cried out his name once more, feeling him lose himself in me as I came apart around him.

He collapsed onto me, breathing hard, the sweat on his body evaporating already. He rolled to his side, pulling me with him.

"Maybe this wasn't a bad idea, after all," he whispered into my hair. "That was amazing."

I hummed in response, snuggling closer as the cool air made me shiver.

_I could get used to this._

* * *

It was still dark when I woke up and I panicked a little when I couldn't feel him next to me. His side was cool so I assumed he had left a while ago. I groped around in the dark for my shirt and came up with his, slipping it over my head. It fell past my knees. After fifteen minutes of staring at the ceiling, wondering where Jake was, what he was doing and if this was a huge mistake, I sat up again. I switched on his bedside lamp, reaching for whatever he was reading.

_Dracula... snort...way to get into enemy minds, Jake._

I crossed my legs, pulling his tee between them, and started on the first chapter. He hadn't gotten too far and I figured I'd read till he got back from patrols. I was up to chapter three when I heard the door open. I nervously pushed my hair behind my ear and put the book back on the night stand.

"Hey," his voice was husky and his jeans hung low on his waist. I swallowed thickly as my eyes travelled down his chest, landing on the chiselled Vs that peeked over the waistband.

_Gawd, obsessed much? Why don't you write a sonnet about them and stick it on that secret shrine in your closet?_

"Hey... patrols?" I stretched out my legs, pulling at the edges of the shirt.

_No, Bella, he runs around shirtless hosting midnight carwashes._

"Yeah." He crawled onto the bed and flopped down, his legs hanging off the edge. I reached over to run a hand through his spiky hair. He'd had a shower. His hair and scalp was already drying under my fingertips. He moaned before dragging himself up a few inches, pushing my shirt up with his hot fingers.

"Jake!" I hissed.

He "mmmed' and rested his head on my thigh. "So cold," he murmured, pulling my other leg onto his back. I tugged at the tee, trying to keep it between my thighs to preserve some kind of dignity.

_Yeah, there's nothing he hasn't seen now, dumbass._

"You're wearing my shirt," he mumbled, his breath tickling my inner thigh.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I couldn't find..."

"I like it. You look really hot." He smiled sleepily.

"Jake, we need to discuss...stuff."

He rubbed at his eyes, groaning at the thought of having to wake up. I tugged at his hair, slipping my leg off his back. He finally relented, pulling himself up the last few inches to sit up next to me.

"Why?'

"Cause we couldn't earlier. Busy, remember?"

He smirked but I could tell he was gonna pass out soon enough.

"We need to talk about terms."

"What terms? We fuck when we need each other and if we find other people..." he paused and scratched at his temple, "...and if we find other people, we'll always be friends...blah blah blah. I know how friends with benefits works, Bells."

"You've done this before?"

"Let's just say I'm no Edward."

_Burrrn...wait...oh, shit._

I scrambled out of the bed and started hunting for my clothes, finding my shirt by the door. Sure enough, he'd ripped it.

"Jesus, Bella, what the hell?" He wrapped his arms around me, trying to make me stop. I struggled ineffectually against him. It was like fighting a wall.

_A hot, sexy wall that smells like soap and makes me goose bump like a camel in the Arctic._

"I don't wanna be on your list of conquests."

He sat on the bed, pulling me between his legs.

"Too late for that, Bells." He smirked, pulling my shirt from my hands and throwing it over my shoulder. I watched it hit the wall before landing on a table.

_Poor shirt, battered and torn. _

He put his hand behind my knee, effectively toppling me onto his lap. I sat as far away from his upper thighs as I could without falling over and fiddled with my hands. His fingers slipped into the crooks of my knees, sliding me till my chest was against his. I didn't want to look in his eyes.

_Jeez, Bella, did you expect him to be a monk? Remember that talk we had about exclusivity?_

"If it makes you feel better, it was a long time ago." He lowered his head and tried to make me look at him.

"Feel better? What do you mean? I don't feel bad in the first place. It's not like we're exclusive or anything. You can be with anyone you want."

"Bells," he breathed. It sounded like disappointment but I wasn't too sure.

"Right now, it's just you and me..." he held up a finger when I opened my mouth, "...but when...if I ever find someone, I promise, I'll drop you like a hot potato." He leaned in, "I would never cheat on my imprint."

_His imprint... focus, Bella, this is what you wanted, remember? Best of both worlds? Best sex you've ever had? Ooooh, speaking of..._

"Bells," he murmured into my neck.

"Mmmmm?"

_God, the things he could do with that tongue._

"I thought you were tired..."

I smiled, letting my head fall back against his hand.

"Nah, something came up." I felt him smile against me before biting down on my neck.

"Too much Dracula," I murmured and shifted till I could feel him pressed against me. His hands were urgently pushing his shirt up my body. I braced myself against his shoulders, running my hands down his back and over his waist. I paused to rub my thumbs over the ridges on his stomach.

_God, he's ripped... I'm sure I look like a sack of flour next to him._

"I love your body....It's so..." he said huskily before kissing me. It took a few minutes for us to come up for air. "...perfect."

_How did he know what I was thinking?_

I hummed in response, wanting him to kiss me again. He gave in, groaning as his fingers slid over my hip.

"Bella, you're naked," he growled against my lips.

_No shit, Sherlock._

I moaned as he cupped my boobs under the shirt. He sucked at my neck as he pinched my nipples.

"Jake...now," I gasped out, grinding myself on his lap.

"Hmmm?"

I wrapped my hands around the nape of his neck, my thumbs digging into his jaw to get his attention just as he ran his fingers over my centre.

"Jake..." I breathed into his ear, "...fuck...me..."

He looked amused as he raised me up momentarily. I heard the zip of his jeans before he lowered me back onto him. I whimpered as I felt him slide inside me, still a little sore from our earlier adventures. His shirt was bunched up around my waist as I thrust against him, getting a little louder with every passing second.

He knew I was close and right before he could feel me clench around him, he covered my mouth.

_What the hell?_

"When you scream my name, I wanna be the only one who hears it."

_Billy...oh, shit._

I nodded, parting my lips to taste his fingers. I sucked each one in turn as he stared. He thrust deeper into me, replacing his fingers with his mouth as I came, hard, moaning and whispering his name against his lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck, hardly able to open my eyes for the pleasure washing over me.

_Good gravy, I think my legs have fallen off._

I pressed my slick forehead against his, breathing hard. He smiled, still inside me, his fingers dancing over my thighs, making me want to giggle.

"That was amazing." I rubbed his nose with mine. "Did you...? Errr...you know?"

"No, but who said we were done?" He grinned wickedly before peeling his shirt off me and throwing me onto the bed.

I squealed as he rubbed his head on my stomach and growled.

"There's this one move I wanna try..."

* * *

**Huh? Huh? Huh? Let me know what ya think! I love that you guys are so invested in this story. A hot Jake or a cool Edward for every one of you! :)**

**Now questions...cause I've been slack...**

**Was Bella a virgin? In my head...nope. Its hard to resist Edward with protection. Protection you ask? yeah...titanium strength. Stopping now.**

**I live in Sri Lanka. I was in NZ for University and now I'm back, writing lemons and hiding them when my parents walk by. :D**

**Where is Michelle? She's around. I havent pushed her off a cliff....yet. Dun dun dunnnn**

**How long is this gonna be? Hmmm good question. I dont think it'll be more than 25 chapters thats for sure. When will he tell her? Soon....lol**

**Why is Bella stupid? Cause I cant put myself in there and bash some sense into her. Oh wait..maybe I can *adds South East Asian chick* lol**

**Much love to Stothep and Fangbanger for being my eyes. I love them so much for reading through my bad spelling and grammar and making the most hilarious comments that one day I will add for your reading pleasure.**

**Thanks so much for the love you guys. I really really really appreciate it. It makes my day when I see the reviews in my inbox. I pink puffy heart each and every one of you. **

**Wow this is long (thats what she said) so till chapter 14....Muah!**


	14. I'm not as brave as I thought

**I've taken too long to update, I know. Please dont hate me. I suddenly seem to have a social life (booo) So without further ado... _Be gentle with me _- The boy least likely to...**

* * *

I hummed as I stood in line at the bakery, waiting to grab some lunch before going back to the theatre. I leaned over to check out the display. I was in a good mood and good moods always meant chocolate. I looked to see if they had my favourite triple chocolate muffins and almost passed out. Just one left and there were 5 people ahead of me.

_Please let them all be allergic to chocolate. Please let them all ignore it. Please let the caramel one look better._

The first three people didn't take my sweet baked good of joy and I sighed with relief. We were on the home stretch, only one old woman directly in front of me.

_She needs to cut down on sugar, anyway. Commence happy dance. _

"I'll have the triple chocolate muffin."

_Someone will die today... preferably from choking on a triple chocolate muffin._

I made a dying animal sound that earned me a stare from the old bag. Smiling apologetically, I scanned the display for a less-worthy substitute for my sugar craving. I almost groaned out loud, wanting to smack myself for not getting down here earlier.

"I'll have a blueberry muffin, please," I mumbled at the cheerful assistant.

"They really are yummy." She grinned, trying to convince me.

_They're not as good as Emily's. They're not as big and they remind me of the sex I should be having._

"I know," I pouted like a petulant child, grabbing the bag and making my way outside to a nearby park bench. There was already someone sitting on the other end. I kept my head down, glancing sideways at my companion till I noticed the bag from the same bakery.

_That better be carrot cake in there or this park bench will witness the greatest case of muffin-related violence in the history of the world._

I think I held my breath as what I believed were "manly" hands ripped the bag open, unveiling a dark brown dome of chocolaty goodness.

_Narrating muffin porn...another career option._

I whimpered as he lifted it to his mouth. He paused.

_Shit._

I shuffled my bag, hoping to seem less creepy.

"Mumbly?"

Those blue eyes.

"Tree guy?" I ventured.

_Did I mention I have great social skills?_

"It's Aiden, but tree guy's good, too," he chuckled. I never realised he had an accent.

_A sexy British accent...sigh._

"Yeah...it's..."

"Bella, I know. It's just that whenever I see you, you seem to be mumbling. All the time." He pronounced it 'Bell-er' which made me want to giggle and sigh simultaneously.

"Yeah, I tend to do that."

He scooted closer, brushing some errant crumbs off his jeans.

"So, Bella, tell me about yourself. Maybe it'll help to mumble out loud."

We chatted for what felt like ages. He was twenty-four, originally from some place called Staffordshire, in England, and he had decided to get into set design and props after watching Star Wars.

_I bet he lives in his mum's basement._

"I live in an apartment, by the way. My mum kicked me out when I was 18..." He laughed when he saw my expression. "I meant that in a good way. She and dad decided they were gonna sell the house and get a motor home. They're currently touring the whole of America."

"Awww, that's nice. You must miss them."

"Yeah, I do. They keep in touch, though. Calls, email, an occasional webcam session."

I told him all about Charlie and Renee and life at Forks. He seemed genuinely interested and asked lots of questions. When he broached the subject of friends I mentioned Seth and Jacob briefly before I started blushing and moved onto high school friends.

"You want..." he held out his uneaten muffin.

"Nah, I'm good."

_Must...resist... the chocolate._

"What have-?"

"Blueberry."

_Jacob..._

"Blueberry's good." He smiled.

"Oh, blueberry's _more_ than good." I sighed, stuffing my face to avoid his stare. I wiped my hands on my jeans and crumpled up the paper, lobbing it at a nearby trashcan.

_Score! _

"So Mumbella... Am I gonna see you again?"

"Of course you will. At the theatre..."

"I mean, apart from work? Unless you already have a..." He rubbed at the nape of his neck.

"Oh... yeah, sure. I mean no, I'm not seeing anyone..."

_Exclusively, that is..._

"We can, err..." I twirled my hand, trying to buy some time.

_Somewhere safe somewhere safe somewhere safe ding ding ding... Seth._

"Why don't you come over for dinner on Friday? I make a mean chicken casserole and you can meet my roommate."

I thought I saw his face fall for a second before he composed himself and gave me a big grin. I almost bit into my fingers instead of the muffin.

_Jeez, those teeth should come with a warning._

"Sure, that would be great! As long as I'm not intruding." He stood up, holding out his hand to help me up.

"Not at all!" I smiled, taking his hand. His long fingers squeezed mine briefly before letting go. We walked back to the theatre and I didn't see him till the end of the day, when he threw me a quick wave goodbye. I steeled myself for the confrontation with Seth at home and started walking. We hadn't spoken since our flare-up at the beach and he had kept his distance, hitching a ride with Mia instead. I didn't care. I had better things to do.

_...In bed._

The elevator dinged and I was hit by a smell that made my mouth water.

_Damn... should have bought take-out._

The smell only got stronger as I walked to our door. I did a mental fist pump when I realised it was coming from our apartment.

_You'll regret that fist pump when it's some psycho waiting to add YOU as the main ingredient. Do humans taste like chicken? If you never tasted chicken, what would you compare weird things to? Tastes like tofu? _

Seth was hunched over the stove, stirring at a smoking wok. A "Kiss the Cook" apron hung around his neck. I dropped my bag on the counter.

"Is that stir-fry?"

He wiped his hands on the back of his jeans and smiled nervously.

"Yeah. I called Charlie to ask what your favourite was, but he had no idea."

"So you just guessed? Impressive for someone who doesn't read minds." I smiled back, drumming my fingernails on the counter.

"Actually..." he tugged at the apron, "...I asked Jake. He said it was one of your favourites. But I didn't mean to – I just wanted you to stop being mad at me and I know you don't like to fight and I'm..."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down for a hug. He gripped me tight and whimpered into my hair, "I'm sorry. Please don't be angry with me anymore."

I patted his broad back, smiling into his shoulder. "Silly kid, I could never be mad at you."

He pulled away, a doubtful look on his face. His hands were still on my waist.

"Fine," I shrugged. "So I was mad. But only for a little while." I held up my thumb and index finger with a small space between them.

Seth snorted before moving my fingers to widen the gap. "Yeah, now that looks about right."

"What's important is that we're ok."

"Yeah, and I promise, Bells, I won't ever meddle in your stuff again."

"Oh, I don't mind you meddling. Just don't let me know if... when… you err... see things, cause you might be seeing them more frequently from now on."

The phone began to ring. I paused to close Seth's mouth. His lower jaw was slowly starting to look like it was made by ACME.

"Bella, what the... we need to..." He stammered as I held up a finger and said hello.

"Bells." His husky voice made me shiver.

"Jake, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, just wanted to check up on you. You got time for a chat?"

I chewed on my fingernail, watching Seth do a rain dance, trying to get my attention.

"Yeah, sure. Can you hold on for a bit?"

"Sure."

I covered the receiver and hissed at Seth, "Later." His face was grim. I'd deal with him after Jake's call. I was halfway up the stairs when he yelled something, but I just waggled my fingers at him and listened to Jake telling me about his day at the garage and on patrols.

"How was yours?"

"Oh, the usual, brats, stage parents..."

_Hot guy with muffin…_

"...I'm just so tired." I fell back on the bed, rubbing the back of my neck and as I flipped my shoes off.

"I wish I could help you relax."

"You are."

"I mean _really_ relax."

"Mmmm...I really wouldn't mind one of your massages right now." My puny hands were doing nothing to ease the knots.

"Anything else?"

He was smirking. I knew it.

"Jake," I said in my best "not now" voice.

"So. What are you wearing?"

_Persistent little..._

"Jacob Black!" I hissed as he chuckled. "You are _not_ trying to do what I think you're trying to do right now."

"Maybe, but I suggest keeping your voice down. Don't want Seth to know what you think we're doing."

"We're not doing anything!"

_Then why are you whispering, you shameless..._

"Not yet." His voice was low. "But remember that time in the shower?"

I squeezed my legs together and tried to ignore the growing ache between them.

"None of the Rez girls around?"

_Score one for Swan._

"It's called phone sex for a reason, Bells. If I needed the ordinary kind..."

_Score one for Black._

"You're not getting any. Phone or otherwise."

"So...about that time in the shower."

I remembered that time in the shower well...too well.

_Hot, sweaty, soapy, slippery, Jake talking dirty to me while I... and FOCUS!_

I stopped my hand from creeping up my top, rubbing my stomach as a way of distracting myself.

"Bells?"

"Err... yeah... time in the shower." I swallowed nervously.

_Was it getting hot?_

"I wish I could taste you right now."

_Oh, hell._

"Uh-huh." I hoped he couldn't hear my rapid breathing.

"Your lips, your neck..."

I whimpered in response.

"...your inner thigh."

"Jake," I moaned. "Are you..."

"Yeah...why don't you..."

"Do a little dance... make a little love... get down tonight!" A voice sang on the phone. I heard Seth yelling in the background.

"PAUL!" We yelled in unison. I pulled down my shirt hurriedly, as if he could see me.

"Get off the phone, dick head!" Jacob growled.

An evil chuckle preceded the click.

"Jake, I have to go."

"One of these days, Bells..." His voice was low and full of promise.

_Dirty, dirty promise._

I sighed. "Bye, Jacob."

I put the phone back in its cradle, sighing again before doing the walk of shame downstairs. This was starting to become a habit. Paul was sitting on the counter grinning while Seth set the table. He bit into an apple, a wicked glint in his eye.

_Does that guy ever stop eating? _

Seth looked up from the plates.

"I'm sorry, Bells. I tried to stop him."

I waved him off. Only Jake could fight with Paul and win...and maybe Sam and definitely Rachel. Paul hopped off his stool, putting the apple core in the bin before grabbing a chair at the table.

"Bells?" He looked between the two of us. "Does Jacob know you call her that?"

Seth visibly blanched, stammering out a no.

"Seth can call me anything he wants. Last time I checked, my name wasn't copyrighted by anyone."

Paul snickered, raising an eyebrow in Seth's direction. "Try telling that to his Alpha."

"Yeah, well, I don't belong to anybody." I sat down as Seth, still shaken, brought the rice to the table.

"So, Paul, what brings you around here?" I was desperate to change the subject. The constant smirking was starting to get on my nerves.

"Meet a cousin," he said between bites. "Seth said I could crash. I hope you don't..."

He looked apologetic.

As much as he bugged me, Paul was a good guy and had looked out for Jacob and Seth more times than I could count. I smiled warmly.

"That's fine, Paul, you can always crash here. No need to ask."

"How's Jacob?" Seth suddenly asked while pointedly staring at me. Paul caught our silent exchange.

"He's great. The local girls are keeping him busy."

I choked on a piece of carrot, coughing violently into my napkin. Seth looked like he was about to lunge across the table and deliver the Heimlich. I held up my hand, trying to stop the carrot from going down my wind pipe.

_Killed by a carrot. Giant bunny thought to be accomplice._

Clearing my throat, I pushed the food around my plate, trying to look nonchalant.

"The...err...local girls?"

"Yeah, Jake's hot property on the Rez, especially since he hasn't imprinted yet. Not that any of those chicks know about that voodoo. They just wanna tap that."

"And does Jake do any... tapping?" The rice made pretty patterns on my plate. There was no answer so I looked up. They shrugged in unison.

"The walls have gotta break sometime, Bella, considering how many of them are hurling themselves against it."

I swallowed nervously. "There are...there are lots of them?"

"A few." Paul waved his fork as he counted. "Ten at least that come by the garage every other day. 'Oh, Jake, my windows won't go up.' 'Oh, Jacob, there's a teeny tiny scrape right under the brake light.' " He squeaked, flapping his hands.

"Wow, business must be real good." I took another bite.

"Yeah, considering most of them damage their cars on purpose." They both laughed. I did not.

"Nothing brings in more cash than Jake bending over an engine." Seth grinned.

"Yeah, the tighter the jeans, the better. Shirtless and we hit the jackpot." They fell about laughing again for a good five minutes before Paul casually stated, "Then there are others."

"Erm... others?" My insides were doing the dance of the seven million flails.

"Oh, yeah." Paul nodded seriously. "Dozens."

"Remember that time at the club? The strippers were practically shoving the bills down _his_ pants."

_He sounds like a total fan boy._

"Strip club?"

_Echo much?_

"Yeah, it was a while ago." Seth noticed the look in my eyes. "While you were still with Edward."

"Oh, yeah... I just asked... not that I care... just..."

_Ooooh corn! _

Seth, sensing my discomfort, changed the subject. We talked about Rachel and the wedding for the rest of the night. I asked Seth to make up the couch for Paul while I started on the dishes. Paul grabbed a soapy plate, grinning at me before rinsing it under the tap.

"Can I give you some advice?" he blurted out, looking back over his shoulder to see if Seth was around. He had gone upstairs to get some pillows.

I shrugged. "Sure."

"Play the field."

"What?" The plate I was washing slipped, hitting the bottom of the sink with a splash and a thud. Paul was unfazed.

"I know whatever you guys have is not exclusive or anything. Stick to those terms. Look around."

"But Jake..."

"What makes you think he's not sticking to the rules?" My heart dropped to my feet. "He's done this before, Bella. Trust me, keep your options open. It's called _friends_ with benefits for a reason."

He wiped his hands on a dish towel and wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

"It's meant to be fun, Bella. Loosen up," he murmured. I looked over my shoulder to see Seth laying out the blanket.

"Yeah, fun," I muttered back.

* * *

**Ooooooh evil Paul.... *snickers* *mars bars***

**LOVE LOVE LOVE to my ninja Mafia for always listening to my word vomit and being excited no matter what I write.**

**And LOVE to everyone who reviews, favourites or subscribes to this sillyness. A smirky Twi-boy or girl for each of you. So let me know what you think. Is Paul the worst friend in history? Has Jake stuck to the terms? Dun dun dunnnn....**

**Till Chapter 15 Muah!**


	15. For the teenage boys

***cowers* I know I should have updated sooner but the higher powers have decreed that I get a job. No, they didnt believe me when I said that every review puts a dollar in my bank account. Booo on un-gullible parents. So as an offering of apology....chapter 15**

**1234 - Feist**

* * *

I have a problem saying no. Seriously. Like a need-a-psychiatrist, where's-my-straight-jacket kind of problem. I mean, if I had just said that simple word, I wouldn't be in this mess in the first place.

Ok, so I did volunteer to keep an eye on Bella. Mostly cause Embry kept asking what he should do in case he saw her in her underwear and Jake was getting pissed off and someone needed to diffuse the situation before one of us had to go to Dr. Carlisle to get some bones fixed. Something told me that person was gonna be Embry. The guys who had imprinted can be so touchy sometimes. It used to bug me cause it was always, 'Rachel this' and 'Emily that,' but I get it now. I can't imagine my life without Mia. Hell – I can't imagine a _minute_ without her.

So I said yes. To Jake, to Edward AND to Charlie. Why? Cause I can't say no and Charlie kept spinning his gun on the table. You don't mess with a spinning gun. I didn't expect them to be so pushy. I kept getting calls day and night. I think Edward's the only one who knew that the other two had put me on guard dog duty. Didn't make him less pushy, though. Tanya used to snap at him at the start but when he told her all about Bella's shenanigans after he left, she actually took over for him. They were on bloody shifts calling me to find out what she was up to. I mean, didn't they have houses to break or something? It was only when I finally started ignoring them that Jake went berserk. He drove all the way to Seattle so he could phase in some hotel bathroom to torture me. I know it was a mean trick I pulled with the Debbie Harry that night but I was out for blood. It was all cause of Jake that Bella had to see me like that; a pitiful, mangy little dog howling in a bath tub.

"And how are you any different in real life?" Paul snickered.

Yeah, Paul's voice has been following me the whole day today. It's not like I can really hear him, though. Whenever he's around, I get jumpy and he taunts me from inside my head.

_See what I said about the straight jacket?_

Anyway, about the "epic cock block" (name courtesy of Leah). I paid for that shit. I paid for that shit hard. I didn't want to phase when we got back to Forks but I knew whatever ass-whooping I was gonna get, I had to get it now. They say revenge is a dish best served cold. I never got that. I mean, wouldn't a hot dish burn your mouth and stuff? Best revenge ever. Jake almost mauled me to death that night after making me relive their 'moment' a million times over. God, the sexual tension made me want to leap off a freaking cliff. He kept at it until I pretty much rolled over dead and said that if I ever did that again he was gonna tell my mom about the time I got drunk and threw up in her geraniums.

I answered back with an "Ooooh, I'm so scared!"

_Sometimes I just don't know when to shut up. My big mouth was gonna be the death of me one day._

Jake tore into me like I was a burger and he was a guy who.... hadn't had a burger in a while. Yeah, I'm no good with the metaphors. Paul made it worse when he said Bella was my girlfriend. That was the first time I wondered if wolves were cannibals. Seriously.

"Seth, you seem... err... distracted." Mia perched on the ledge near the front door of her apartment building. Her hands grabbed mine, pulling me towards her. "What's wrong?"

I placed my palms on the cool cement on either side of her thighs, careful not to touch her. I mean, I wasn't a prude or anything... ok, I was. I just didn't have the experience the other guys had. Paul and Sam had _some_ experience before they met Rachel and Emily. Sam _definitely_ had. I shuddered as I remembered how Leah would use it to piss Sam off.

_Urgh! As if walking in on her changing wasn't bad enough._

And Jacob... whoa, boy... before he went all Drooly McDroolson over Bella, he knew a lot of girls. And I mean a LOT of girls. And when I say know, I mean "biblically." It's like he was on his own American Idol, except it was the American Idol of sex and the person with the least...ok, so American Idol isn't the best metaphor for it. Even though we _did_ see everything, voting lines were never open. Embry and Paul, however, rated them on style, technique and looks. Whatever Jake was going through, though, it was bad. I mean, for a guy who was getting laid whenever he wanted, he wasn't very happy about it. He looked downright miserable. Then suddenly a few months before the wedding, we were having lunch at Emily's and he just looked up and stated that he was going for the wedding. I just shrugged and munched on my sandwich but Sam was crazy pissed. He yelled at Jacob for ages. Man, that was a good sandwich. Roast beef and mustard and...

"Seth, you're drooling."

"Sorry." I wiped at my mouth.

_Dammit, why couldn't I concentrate?_

"You've been distant all day."

I sighed.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. It's just been..." I scrambled to find a suitable word, "...tiring."

"Jake and Bells?" She smiled.

"Yeah, they're being..."

"...idiots?"

_I loved that she always thought PG-13._

"Exactly."

"You know, Seth, I have the feeling those two are destined for each other. I mean, did you see the way he looked at her? It's like fate or something."

_We were gonna have that talk soon enough._

"I just wish they'd get it together already. All this angst makes me feel like inviting a reality show crew into the apartment." I shook my head.

Her hands brushed up my forearms, playing with the sleeves of my shirt.

"You're hot," she whispered.

"So I've been told," I smirked.

I mentally face-palmed myself._ Lines like that were better left to Jake and Paul. _

"No, I mean, really..." She gasped as I ran my fingers along the back of her neck. I really, really wanted to...

"We need to talk about something," I blurted out. I thought I saw a look of disappointment cross her face.

"Let me guess." She crossed her arms. "You're a spandex-loving bi-sexual who likes to break into people's homes and proclaim you're the next Messiah."

_Jeez, if it was that easy._

"Bi-sexual?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Not that I have a problem with that..." She shrugged, licking her lips nervously.

_Oh my God, has she kissed a chick?_

"Looks like she will tonight!" Paul's imaginary insult rang in my head.

"Shut up, Paul," I muttered, leaning in and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"What?" she whispered. We were moving closer to each other with every second. I swallowed thickly before whispering back.

"Nothing."

"Seth," she exhaled, arching toward me as her eyes fluttered closed. I touched her lips with mine, wrapping my free hand around her waist. She smelled good as I ran my fingers through her hair, wanting to taste her, to have her wrap her legs around me. I pulled away just as she moaned against my mouth. I wondered if she wanted more cause I definitely did. We rested our foreheads together, smiling like a couple of kids on a sugar rush. She hummed, which I took to be a good thing. After a few minutes of dazed silence at what just happened, she started playing with my sleeves again, a grin etched on her face.

"You know what makes a guy really come out with his feelings?"

"What?" My thumb was making little circles behind her ear.

"Get a third party involved."

"Mia, that's sweet, but I don't think Jake and Bells do things like that."

_What kind of a freaky chick have I imprinted on? _

"Like what?"

"Like..." I scratched my head, trying not to sound crude. "...they're not into swingers and stuff."

"Seth, a third party to show interest in Bella, to make Jake jealous." Mia rolled her eyes.

"Ooohhhhhhhhh."

_Sometimes I'm too dumb to function._

"It's cute that your mind went there. Though, on second thought, it's creepy, too." She shook her head before checking the time.

"Thanks for a fun date, Seth. I really enjoyed it, even though you weren't really here most of the time."

I mumbled an apology and she punched me softly on the shoulder before walking away. She turned to open the door before looking back at me, smiling shyly.

"By the way, thanks for the amazing first kiss."

I stuck my hands in my pockets, rocking on my heels. I knew I was blushing. She walked back to me, pulling me down by my neck before kissing me again.

"Thanks for the second," I said, a little dazed as I watched her walk up the stairs, stopping for a second to wave at me and catching me staring at her ass in the process. I can't remember how I got home that night.

When I walked in, Paul was already perched on the kitchen counter, smirking. I used to wonder if he was making _that_ face and then the wind changed and... I really shouldn't listen to my mum.

"We need to talk."

"No, we don't." I closed the door, rummaging in the drawer for my "Kiss the Cook" apron. I flipped the bird at Paul when he whistled.

"Ooooh, feisty!" He grinned. "Anyway, it's about Bella and Jake. I think we need to get someone involved."

"I don't think they'll agree to counselling." I pulled the rice out of the pantry. "Seeing that they won't even admit they're a couple," I mumbled into the packet as I read the directions. He swatted me across the head and I yelped, rubbing it.

"To make him jealous, dumbass."

"Oh, right." I was still rubbing my head. That shit hurt.

_It was like my brain was replaced with pudding. Mmmmm pudding...chocolate..._

"Seth! Concentrate!"

"Yeah, sorry, so who's gonna be this other person?" I started chopping up the onions extra fast so I wouldn't cry. Last thing I needed was for Paul to call me a cry baby.

"Ok. So I saw her talking to this guy in the park today."

The knife clattered onto the wooden chopping board.

_It's just talking. Why the hell are you panicking?_

"Oh my God, have you been stalking her? That's real creepy Paul. Did Jake put you up to this?"

_Cause I can stalk waaaay better than Paul. Listen to yourself! Jeez!_

"No, it was on my way back from Marc's. So anyway, she seemed really into this guy. He was pretty good-looking."

I stared incredulously at him. I mean, I would have if I knew what it meant.

_You're not the fairy godmother in this relationship. Even though Paul does call you a fairy because of that play in junior school when you wore glitter wings. And maybe if mom would stop showing those pictures to everyone, people will think you're a man again. _

"Unlike you, dickweed, I'm secure enough in my manliness to admit when another guy is good-looking. The point is, we know that Jake's gonna win in the end. We just need to give it a little push."

"Again, does Jake know about this?"

"Jake, Jake, Jake... Jeez, Seth, why don't you go marry the guy already? I'm sure Bella would love to be your bridesmaid. Peach is so your colour."

"Shut up," I grumbled at him. The wok was already smoking and for a second I wished I could beat him over the head with it.

"So are you with me or not? Cause if you're up for seeing more fantasies that involve Bella and that couch in the garage..." I knew he wouldn't let up. At least I'd be around to make sure he didn't go too far.

"Fine. But if Jake finds out, you threatened to flush my head down a toilet, so I _had_ to agree, alright?"

"Deal! I know how much you hate lying to your boyfriend, so what if I actually stick your head in the toilet? You know, for authenticity." He drummed his fingers on the table.

"Don't you fucking dare," I growled at him.

"Temper, temper, Sethy. Don't wanna destroy this beautiful home by struggling, do ya?" He grabbed me in a head-lock till I whined.

_Yeah, it's pathetic but it works._

He let go, wiping is hands on his jeans like he'd touched something disgusting.

"So do you guys have a bathroom or do I have to go on the furniture?"

I pointed him in the right direction, my face scrunched up at his coarseness.

_Ok, so I'm a little civilised. Sue me._

Bella came in a little later and I couldn't wait to apologise. I hated it when she was mad at me. I really didn't mean to bring up their sex life. I mean, it was just a one-off thing, right? I had no right using it as ammo.

"Oh, I don't mind you meddling. Just don't let me know if... when… you err... see things, cause you might be seeing them more frequently from now on."

_Frequently? Like dating frequently? Damn that stupid phone._

Her face lit up as she answered. Problem was she never saw the way she looked when she was around him. Like he was a giant Christmas cracker, a giant Christmas cracker that turned into a...

_Yeah, I'm stopping now._

"Hey, can I call Rachel?" Paul picked up the phone.

"Wait...Bella..." I hissed, but he was already listening in on their conversation.

"Jacob, you dirty dog. You dirty, dirty dog." He covered the receiver, shaking his head.

"Will you stop?" I hissed again, looking for something to throw at him.

"Not when it's just about to get juicy!" He put a finger to his lips.

"Paul," I whined. Jake would flay me alive for this.

"Do a little dance...make a little love...get down tonight!" he suddenly sang, snickering and keeping the phone. I heard a snatch of yelling before I heard Bella's door open.

Dinner was exceptionally awkward but I think we got our point across. Bella looked positively green by the end of it. I was just coming downstairs with the pillows when I heard Paul murmuring to her near the sink. I paused, afraid of moving in case he knew I was eavesdropping.

"What makes you think he's not sticking to the rules?"

_What the hell was Paul doing? _

"He's done this before, Bella. Trust me, keep your options open. It's called _friends_ with benefits for a reason."

_This was supposed to end at the dinner table._

"It's meant to be fun, Bella. Loosen up." I flapped the blanket extra hard to let them know I was downstairs. I heard her mutter, "Fun," before she went upstairs. She looked a bit shaken, to be honest. I waited till she shut the door, calling out a goodnight before I pinned Paul onto the couch, my knee pressed against his chest.

"What the fuck?" I hissed as he gasped for air. I knew I only had a little time before the shock wore off.

"If she gets hurt cause of _your_ fucked-up plans, I swear to God, Paul, I will tear you from limb to limb!"

"Jeez, Seth, relax. I would never let Bella get hurt and Jacob… well Jacob just needs to open his big damn mouth and tell her already, before the whole pack goes crazy. So as soon as he stops being a pussy and faces a little competition, everything will fall into place."

_I had a feeling Jake was gonna kill us nice and slow for that._

* * *

**Have I told my betas how much I love them recently? I mean they write such amazing FF AND read my word vomit. Stothep and Fangbanger are the reason I write in the first place. 3**

**And you guys....400 reviews? Thats crazy! I love all of you so much for reading the updates and being so wonderful in your reviews. You guys make me cry. 3**

**So till chapter 16 (which will def come sooner *thatswhatshesaid* than this one or feel free to egg my house) Muah! **


	16. I want to know what I want

**I am deeply ashamed. You may egg me.**

**I should be lost without you - David Condos**

* * *

It was 2 am on Friday morning when the images finally stopped. I knew I shouldn't care this much. We weren't exclusive. When I had been "getting some" from Edward I hadn't cared a thing for Jake. He had been a teenager and these things needed to happen. I couldn't have expected a hot-blooded 16-year-old to keep it in his pants. He was definitely not a monk. Not with those looks, anyway. And that body. So why did I keep torturing myself by picturing him with all these women?

It had started off normal enough. Imagining him with a girl that Embry brought to a BBQ. I pictured them talking – him winning her over with his sexy smirk, her laughing as she brushed a hand over his bicep. That's when the porno music would start. He would slowly take off his shirt, licking his lips before pulling her against him. She would wrap an arm around his hip, grinding on his... _stop stop STOP!_

I tried to focus on him with a non-sexual female.

_Emily! Em would never EVER cheat on Sa... Oh crap! There starts the bow chicka wow wow... No, Em! Think of Sam! Think of the children! Not Jacob! Leah! Leah's good. She loathes Jacob. There, they can have a sane, platonic relationship. Ha! That's one chick he definitely hasn't screwed. They ALWAYS seem to be fighting. Like at dance rehearsals, when they were wrestling. NO! NO JAZZ! Stop the music! No angry sex! For the love of Pete, not against the mirrors!_

I growled in frustration. My brain was going into overdrive trying to illustrate Seth and Paul's words. I had imagined him with no less than 15 girls, resorting to celebrities when I couldn't remember any of the girls from the Rez..

_Ha! Jacob wishes he could score with Megan Fox. _

So, at 2 a.m. on Friday morning, my brain ran out. Ran out of images, that is, though my brain actually running away would have been a better option cause I really didn't want to think anymore.

I had told Seth about Aiden the night before and he had seemed ok with it. No freak outs, no passionate defences for or against Jake, not even a dirty smirk. I made the huge mistake of taking this as a good sign.

When Friday evening came round Seth was sweet enough to help me make chicken casserole. He glumly hacked at a baguette and I sighed.

_Here it comes. Just nod and smile. He'll stop the ticker tape parade for Jacob soon enough._

"What's wrong?"

"It's Mia."

"She figured out, huh? Can't handle an animal in bed?" I nudged him as I folded napkins.

"Ugh, Bells, I really don't need to know what you do in bed. Least of all with Jacob." He scrunched up his face like he was trying to erase something from his brain. I didn't want to know what it was.

_Damn Jacob and his pervy mind. _

I patted him on the back.

"I'm sure everything will work out. Whatever it is." I gave him a reassuring smile that he returned pathetically.

"Yeah, I'm sure it will. So what time is this guy gonna..."

On cue, I heard the door bell ring. I wiped my hands on my jeans, cringing as I realised there was a perfectly good dish cloth nearby. I smiled widely, opening the door to find that instead of Aiden, Jake leaned against the door frame, a bunch of flowers in his hand.

_Awww, he brought me flowers...wait, wrong date._

"Jake, what are you doing here?" My smile was dropping with every second. This was not good.

I shot a 'what the hell are you trying to do' look at Seth, who merely shrugged.

"I needed company," he said, "I'm not gonna be the third wheel while you drool into a bucket over Jayden."

"Aiden," I said through gritted teeth, glaring at him with what I hoped was the heat of a thousand suns.

_Calm down, Bella. This is a good thing. Let Jake know you have options. You're not the weirdo who obsesses over him while he competes in the nympholympics. You are a strong, independent woman who can date other guys and - oh my god he's cut his hair and I really wish I could touch it- invite them over to dinner if you so wish. _

"Can I come in?" He bent his knees in order to catch my eye.

"Sure."

_Sure._

"These are for you, by the way." I held out my hand to take the flowers while pointing at Seth.

"They're beautiful, Jake, thank you."

He smiled a smile that made my knees wobbly and perched himself on a stool. I busied myself finding a vase but I could feel his heated stare as I rummaged in the glass cupboard.

"So, err, Aiden, huh? This guy have a... a last name?" He was leaning back with his elbows on the counter.

"Idontknowhislastname," I mumbled into the vase I was cleaning.

"What was that? He doesn't have a last name?" I could see he was holding back, pursing his lips together to keep from laughing.

"Sure he's not imaginary, Bells?"

"Oh, he's real, alright, and pretty good-looking... or so I've heard." Seth winked flamboyantly.

"Pretty good-looking?" Jake crossed his arms. It gave me a little thrill to see him look so rattled. "You playing for the other team now? Should I tell Mia?"

"Shut urrrrp. Paul said a real man isn't afraid to appreciate beauty in any form."

"Let me get this straight. You're taking advice from Paul? Paul who duct taped you to a tree when he found out that Em gave you a pedicure?"

Seth looked like a goldfish, opening and shutting his mouth in an attempt to make a witty retort.

Jake's gaze shifted to me. "While beauty boy finds his tongue, you wanna go talk somewhere?"

I looked around frantically.

_I could not be trusted to be alone with this guy. What if I dry hump him on the balcony? Courage, Bella Swan – you can do this. _

"Err… yeah...sure."

He looked back at Seth. "Upstairs?"

I shrugged. Upstairs was safe unless he wanted a different kind of talk. Where there's not really any talk, just moaning and screaming and a whole lot of swearing. I followed him up the stairs.

"In here?" He stopped in front of my room.

"Errr... no... too much temptation." He raised an eyebrow that I had the sudden urge to lick.

_Temptation, indeed. Why the eff did I say that out loud?_

I looked around. Bathroom? Shower/sink/floor/tub sex. I dragged him into the small but not-to-the-point-of-claustrophobic linen closet next to the bedroom.

His eyebrow hadn't come down yet and the corners of his lips twitched in a smile as if to say 'In here? Really? That's hot.' At least, that's what I thought it said.

"I don't want Seth to hear us."

I pulled the chain overhead and looked flabbergasted as a mini chandelier lit up.

_Did vamps know class or what? I need to visit the linen closet more often. _

"It looks pretty soundproof." He hit the wooden panelling with his fist and I prayed it wouldn't go through. I was sure one of those panels would cost more than my kidney in the black market.

"Maybe they had sex in here," Jake said thoughtfully. I hastily stopped touching the walls.

"That's not the point. We needed to talk, remember?" I composed myself.

"About?" He leaned against the shelves, crossing his arms expectantly. "You first."

"About the terms."

"I thought we discussed the terms. If I remember correctly, we discussed it a few times that night." He scratched the side of his nose and I swear he winked at me before continuing. "What do you know about this guy, Bells?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't know being friends with benefits gave you the right to interrogate me about my decisions." I mirrored his pose, leaning against the door.

"I'm not. I'm just worried." He rubbed the back of his head nonchalantly.

"About what?"

He hesitated before answering.

"You don't even know his last name, Bells." He uncrossed his arms, taking a step closer. I stood my ground.

"So?" I hoped my serious face was serious enough. I swallowed nervously. "I'll find out tonight."

_Dear God, I hope that didn't sound as bad as it did in my head. _

"He doesn't know you, Bells." He reached out, placing a very hot hand on my waist.

"He knows me just fine."

_Why is my throat dry? _

"Oh, really? Does he know that you would give up sex for chocolate?"

_He said sex and chocolate in the same sentence. I am dead. _

"All girls would give up sex for chocolate," I mumbled as his other hand landed on my temple.

"That sometimes when you think really hard, your forehead wrinkles up and you look real pissed?" His thumb brushed against my cheek as his finger smoothed out the lines between my eyebrows.

"I'm not," I stammered.

"And that when I do this...,"he pulled my head back, biting down softly on my neck till I gasped against his ear, "...It's the most amazing sound I could ever hear?"

"Jake, we can't...," I whimpered.

"Why not?" he whispered, his tone insistent.

_Bow chicka wow wow... BOW CHICKA WOW WOW! Cause you're a man whore! Cause I think I love you! Cause the thought of you with anyone else is killing me!_

"Cause I have a guest arriving here any minute."

_Gee, best excuse ever!_

"Stay." He kissed me softly behind my ear.

"I can't."

_As Bella Swan will demonstrate, the limp fish technique is world-renowned for getting rid of unwanted sex-gods._

"You don't even know his last name."

I snapped out of the haze, pushing him away almost reluctantly. I needed to make a point. Correction: My random image generator and I needed to make a point. I crossed my traitorous arms.

"Tell me, Jacob, did you know the last name of every woman you slept with? Oh wait, I'll make it easier. Let me get the phonebook and you can show me the names of the women you _didn't_ sleep with! Who I invite for dinner, who I date and even who I decide to sleep with...," he visibly paled but I carried on regardless, "...is none of your business. Stick to the terms, Jake. We both don't get hurt this way."

_Cue stormy exit._

I switched off the light before flashing him a defiant look and stomping out of the closet. I paused when I heard someone come up the stairs.

"First door to your right!" Seth yelled from downstairs.

_Shit! Aiden was already here. I wasn't ready. Shit! Shit! Shit!_

I turned around, pushing a very confused Jacob back into the closet with me. I shut the door, breathing heavily while resting my forehead against the hard surface.

"What the hell, Bella?" he growled before I shushed him.

"One minute."

I shushed him again, pressing my ear against the door. He brushed a lock of hair off my cheek and tucked it behind my ear.

"Came back for more?" he whispered. I shivered slightly before composing myself and elbowing him in the ribs. He didn't even flinch. I tried not to rub my now-sore elbow, listening for Aiden to go back downstairs. I didn't even know why I was hiding in the first place. I guess it was some kind of sick, masochist desire to be locked in a closet with the source of my lust and torture.

_Shit, now my elbow was really starting to hurt._

I almost jumped out of my skin when I felt something brush my arm. It was Jake, rubbing slowly at the sore spot. I winced as he hit the patch of skin that was already swelling up.

"Does it hurt?"

_No. _

"Yes," I whimpered.

"Show me."

"In the dark? I hardly know where my elbow is."

He laughed quietly and tugged at my hand till I bent it my arm up to him.

At least I thought it was him. I could have been pointing my elbow at a stack of towels for all I knew.

"You know any wolf voodoo to fix this?"

"Yeah." I heard the smile in his voice before I felt his lips on my skin. I gasped at the sensation.

"Jake."

His hands were on my forearm, his thumb brushing circles on my skin as his warm breath made my tummy go all funny .

"My mum used to do that all the time when we got hurt." His arm snaked around my waist, pulling me to him.

"Ouch," I mumbled as my arm hit him squarely on the chest. I dropped my hands limply at my sides.

_Yeah, my reaction time is sloth-like. A sloth with a hangover._

"Did it work?" I whispered.

_You just got the treatment! Does it hurt? Do you care? Why was I always so lame when I was near him? It's like my brain switched off and I turned into this breathy mess in a linen closet._

His thumb brushed my lower lip and my breath hitched in my throat.

"Always," he whispered back. My heart was doing a drum solo. I prayed he wouldn't hear it.

_Yeah, the guy can see in the dark, I don't think hearing is gonna be a problem. You, on the other hand, would kiss folded hand towels with the mortal senses that don't work well in the first place._

His palm was hot against my neck and we were both breathing pretty fast.

_I don't know how I keep getting into these situations. Remember when you stormed out the first time? Where are your principles? Grow a backbone, you sex-craved, in-love-with-your-best-friend-and-crazy-jealous-but-dont-have-a-chance loser! Push him away! Tell him you're not one of his garage whores! Stop leaning in! Don't lick your lips! Stop smelling him! Oh God, his fingers are in my hair... I love it when he pulls... Concentrate!_

His hands were dipping lower down my back, resting on the curve of my ass as he muttered. "Speaking of, your lips look a little..."

_Dry? Un-kissed? Over the top with the shiny lip gloss cause I have no mad skills with the makeup?_

I swallowed audibly and held still. If he was gonna kiss me he was gonna have to do all the work. I was not in the mood to be leaning toward anything, especially in the dark. What if I missed and broke my nose on his jaw or – worse yet – fell and ruined the moment because he had to extract me from the sheets?

_Wait, what moment?_

"Bells, stop fighting it." He hiked his arms under my ass, pulling me up so he could kiss me hard. I moaned into his mouth like I hadn't kissed him in years. He tasted so good and the way he kept touching me made me want to pull him down and... _Yeah, and then you knock your head on a shelf and give yourself a concussion or get a cramp trying to do the reverse cowgirl on a floor the size of a postage stamp. Ok, so it was bigger than a postage stamp, but Jake was... he could really fill up a space. That's what she said._

I pushed him against the shelves and felt a few things fall near my feet. I kicked them away, telling myself that Aiden and I weren't serious and neither was anything with Jake. I undid the top button of his shirt, pulling myself away from his lips to run my tongue along his collarbone. He groaned before thrusting his hand up my top, his fingers running up my spine as he cradled my head, pulling me so that my feet were practically off the floor. He whispered my name again before kissing my neck and my eyes popped open as I heard the voices outside.

"Jake." I flapped my arms like an idiot but he didn't seem to care. I shouldn't have cared either cause I really didn't want him to stop kissing my jaw and no one could hear us. I squeaked as light flooded the room, jumping away from Jacob, who had a very satisfied smirk on his face.

Seth stood at the door with a sheepish Aiden, who was staring at a seemingly-fascinating speck on the floor. Seth leaned against the door, crossing his arms and clicking his tongue with mock disapproval.

"Well, well, guess who's gonna have to come out of the closet?"

* * *

**I am sorry. Apart from getting a new job, dealing with a million family members descending on our house like Assyrians AND being an agony aunt, my computer decided that it was gonna break the apostrophe/quotation mark key. Dont (see?) ask how my betas read through all that madness without their eyes bleeding. They are just....*sighs* sofa king brilliant. StotheP and Fangbanger, Im (see?) picking out our rings right now. (Ooooooh creepy) **

**And to everyone who reads, reviews, favourites and loves this story, thank you so much. I really do appreciate your amazing words and your involvement in this story. Seven Minutes in Heaven with a Twi boy of your choice just for being so lovely.**

**So till Chapter 17 (whenever the hale thats *see?* gonna be) Muah!**


End file.
